I Caught Myself
by SilentKnightInDisguise11
Summary: COMPLETE He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC
1. Hypnotic, hypnotic

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T _

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**Disclaimer: The song "I Caught Myself" belongs to Paramore. The Sons nor the actors that play them are mine. The Covenant doesn't belong to me, either.**

**Claimer: I only own the plot for this story, along with Josie, other OCs and whatever else you notice that doesn't belong to anyone/anything else (For it belongs to me, of course).**

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**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 1: Hypnotic, hypnotic**

She watched_ him _silently, not knowing what else to do. See, there was a special spot on his skull where she liked to bore her eyes into for the remainder of the class, the teacher's lectures still managing to plant itself into her head so she would easily be able to answer any of his – the teacher's – questions flawlessly, unlike when the teacher calls on_ him_. But she didn't mind much, surprisingly, considering the fact that her grades mean a lot to her.

Ever since she came to Spenser a few years ago, she found herself transfixed _by him_, not able to stand one minute not thinking about _him_. But could you blame her? More than half the school lusted over _him _– most probably not even admitting that they do so. And she fits in that group. No one really knows about her_ addiction to him_. Yeah, that's right; she called_ him_ an addiction. Only because it's true – _he_ is one. One that implants itself into your brain, keeping its hold onto you for as long as it wants to. And there's nothing you can do but comply and bend to its will, but part of you wants to. Has to. Because that's his power. That's_ what he _can do to you if you keep your guard down like she had two years ago. But, strangely, she doesn't mind.

Though, that's probably her little addiction talking.

See, she didn't exactly want this – lusting over someone she knew she couldn't have, for they were completely different, yet her heart isn't exactly cooperating with her brain. No matter how hard she wills herself to stop, her eyes find that same, exact spot on his head to stare at almost immediately, as if that certain spot was its home and it was homesick. Though that sounded a bit creepy, didn't it? Yeah. She thought so, too. But, truthfully, it was like that for her.

And she hated it.

Yet, she loved it at the same time.

Perhaps that's how all crushes are. But she isn't sure she could call this a crush anymore. It seems to have escalated very quickly – so quick that she didn't even notice at first. The crush turned into an obsession of sorts.

Why? Why had this stupid little lovebug decided it be the right moment to crawl up her uniform skirt and bite her in the ass? She didn't know. But it did. And she doesn't want that lovebug to let go. Although, at the same time, she wanted it to let go – to leave her the _fuck_ alone.

Though...what is she going to do then? Who else is she going to stare at? The teacher? No, she doesn't think so. It'd be too..._foreign_. Different. Weird. Her eyes would probably try to direct her back to that same place on the back of his head. But would she comply? Would she go ahead and start to stare and transfix herself_ with him _again? Would she find the strength to look away then?

"Ms. Wesley?" The snobby teacher asked her, "The answer?"

That's when she realized everyone was looking at her – everyone but_ him_, who continued to have his head buried in his arms. It didn't seem like anyone realized who she was staring at so she quickly looked at the teacher.

Immediately, her brain gave her the correct answer and she voiced it out loud, voice raspy for she hadn't talked for a long time – since first period, to be exact. First period was the only period that she didn't have with_ him_ – surprisingly.

It was almost the end of the day – when the bell would ring, then, it'd be the end of the day. She almost didn't want school to end – but she'd be able to see _him _at Nicky's, where she'd be able to reunite her eyes with that same, exact spot on his head as_ he_'d play pool with his friend and rip money off of naϊve suckers who dared to try to actually beat _him_.

Beating_ him _and his friend at pool was impossible. Unthinkable. Stupid to even day dream of, for _he _had the power to beat you even in those day dreams.

Sure, she sounded a bit stupid thinking that, but, hey. It was the absolute truth.

No, really. It was. It was as if no one could beat _him_. As if_ he _was this beautiful, invincible being and everyone else were just some unattractive, lowly mortals. Alright – that last line may have been a bit…_creepy_. But, to her, every word of that sentence was true. She felt so…_wrong _as she walked past_ him _or accidentally touched_ him _at times_ (Of course, _he_ never spared her a single glance. For who would want to?)_.

_DDDRRRIIINNNGGG!_

She quickly got up and stuffed her books in her messenger bag as her teacher babbled on about their essay assignment. She waited until he was finished talking and then walked out. Unfortunately, so many students were crowding the door that she had to wait a bit. But her breath got caught in her throat when she noticed who bumped into her from her side. It was _him_. Although_, he _didn't turn towards her or give her a death glare or tell her to watch it_ like he_ does to others. But _he _didn't send her an apologetic look or _say he_ was sorry, either. Though she didn't mind much.

Even though_ he _might've noticed, she continued to watch _him_, and goosebumps ran over her skin every time their arms touched. Okay, now she really needed to leave. Quickly, she began shoving and pushing people like they were doing and managed to get out of the classroom alive. She took a deep breath of fresh air, surprised that she had turned into a gooey mess just by standing next to_ him_.

As she walked, she saw _him _walk past her and then start talking to one of his friends, the_ one he _liked to hang around with the most. They were laughing and talking, and for some reason, that brought a smile to her face, to see how happy and_ joyful he _was. She liked_ him _like that – when_ he _wasn't cocky or ignorant, but it seemed like those two characteristics would forever be his second skin. She wondered if she'd ever be able to travel past that second skin and see the real _him_, but she knew deep down that she couldn't.

But hey – at least she could continue to see the real_ him_ from afar.

And it couldn't hurt to see_ him _today at Nicky's, too.

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**EDITED – 03/14/11**


	2. You got it, you got it, some kind of mag

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T_

_...  
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**Silent Knight: Well, it's time for another update! Hope you guys enjoy this one since a lot of you guys have alerted and favourited this story! I wish that you guys continue to do so and enjoy this story of mine. =)**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

** Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)  
**

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**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 2: You got it, you got it, some kind of magic**

Nicky's was a place where you'd hang out with friends, make money by either bartending, waitressing or just playing pool and other games in which you can verse others, hook up with guys/girls and, basically, socialize. But Josie Wesley didn't come here for any of these things. She came here to look at him, Reid Garwin. The one who she wants, yet...she doesn't want him and certainly cannot have. See, it's kind of complicated.

Actually, scratch that.

It's just complicated. Like, really complicated.

There was nothing else she liked to do at Nicky's - other than stuff her face, of course. But Reid was the main reason why she was at Nicky's. The reason why she goes out anywhere, period. In case you haven't noticed or made it out, Josie is anti-social. But, in a way, she took pride in that. So what if she never had any friends? That just means that she never had an enemies. But that also meant she had no one to talk to, laugh with, exchange gossip with - no matter how ridiculous rumors in Spenser Academy may be...and that she had no one to love. No one to cherish.

Quickly, Josie snapped out of that. No. There was no reason to think of depressing things. There were so many things to do here.

Great. This threw her into another dilemma. A dilemma of what she should do.

She wasn't exactly sure of what to do - but, of course, the possibilities were pretty limited - so she just sat at her usual table, drumming her fingers against the tabletop, bored. Soon, she had a nice, steady beat going. In case you haven't figured this fact already, Josie was a drummer. A damn good one if she could say so herself without sound _too _conceited.

Then, she began hitting the palm of her hand against the table at random times, contrasting the soft drums the pads of her friends made with the hard drums the flat of her palm made. Josie made sure not to get too carried away - there was no need to draw attention to herself. After all, there was a reason why she was so "dully" dressed.

What she decided to wear was something close to what she always wore to Nicky's. A plain, white t-shirt, a rumpled black hoodie with its sleeves pushed above her elbows, beat-up faded blue jeans that were lightly tattered along the bottom hem and her old Chucks to finish the assemble all up. Her hair was hastily combed yet still a bit tousled, falling in messy waves and some knots to her shoulders. No make-up adorned her face and neither did any jewelry. So, basically, she looked like a clean mess. She knew that there was probably no such thing, but described herself as that anyways.

Josie licked her lips and then took out her chap-stick from the pouch on her hoodie, un-caping it and then rubbing it quickly along her lips. She then rubbed her top and bottom lips again one another. Then, she capped her chap-stick, stuffing it back in her hoodie's pouch. Josie then resumed drumming on the table, this time constructing a different rhythm than before.

"C'mon Baby Boy - let's go!" She heard a loud voice from over the loud, harsh music. Snapping her head up, she looked towards where the voice had came from, a few - three, to be exact - tables to her left.

And her suspicions were confirmed. It was Reid who had said those words.

"Baby Boy" - or Tyler Simms, as everyone, other than Reid calls him - frowned angrily, but followed his blond friend towards the pool tables, careful of the bodies that were littered across the dance floor. Josie stopped drumming her fingers on the tabletop and kept her eyes on Reid's slightly-slouched frame. It was as if everyone else dissolved around her until all there was left was Reid. Only Reid.

She breathed out slowly, transfixed like she always was. There was something was his golden hair, and the way it'd...just..._shine _when the light would catch it. And how his clear blue eyes shone themselves, mischief filling them. And his grins and smiles and laughs. Those were the worst. They somehow pierced through Josie, going straight to her heart and it was like a blow to the stomach, how her breathing to get a bit faster, more shallow, heartbeat escalating by every second that passed. Josie quickly looked away, swallowing hard, eyes closing for the briefest seconds. Reid was doing a number on her.

When did he _not _do a number on Josie?

Exactly. He did this to her all the time. And Josie wasn't sure if she hated it or not.

* * *

Most of her time was spent on watching Reid beat each and every component he had, especially a Aaron Abbott, one who seems to just _love _losing at the hand of Reid Garwin. Josie wasn't exactly sure why he always came back for more when he knew he wouldn't be able to beat the blonde and his brunette friend. For some reason, they never lost. Well, Tyler only lost to Reid. Reid? Never lost to _anyone_.

Josie was okay at pool; her father taught her everything he knew, which wasn't much, but sufficed for her. To be truthful, Josie wasn't too crazy about pool - certainly not as much as Reid or Tyler. The only reason she played it was because it brought her closer to her father. You see, since he was a airplane pilot, he wasn't around too much, but when he was, they would play pool since her father loved to play pool, no matter how many times he might've lost. It was surprising that Josie actually won against her father most of the times.

Suddenly, her stomach rumbled. It was so loud that Josie was surprised no one heard; but at the same time happy, for it would be far more embarrassing as it already was. Cheeks red, she got up from her spot at her table and walked over to Nicky, small smile plastered over her face.

"Hey Nicky," She said over to him, "How are ya?"

Nicky looked up from cleaning a glass and gave her a big, broad smile. "Well hey there Josie! I'm doin' fine. I'm gonna assume you're doin' good? What 'bout your dad? The skies lookin' good?" He asked her.

"Yeah, you assumed right, Nicky. I'm doing better than fine. And dad's doing pretty well, too. And I'm sure the skies are, Nicky. Now, could I get a coke, a veggie burger and some fries?" She asked, slapping down a couple of fives on the table. Nicky nodded, grabbing the money and making her her food. She leaned lazily against the table as she waited. Suddenly, she felt someone behind her...a little too close for comfort.

"Well hi there," Someone whispered in her ear, "How're you doing?"

Josie whipped around, her hair hitting the stranger's face. She was about to apologize when she noticed who it was. "Aaron," She sighed, rolling her eyes, "What would you like?"

He licked his lips, leaning in closer. Josie leaned away from him, glare on her face. "You, of course. And your name would be?"

The brunette rolled her eyes again. Figures he wouldn't remember it. "I'm in five of your classes and have been your partner twice now. How could you _not _remember my name?" And as soon as she had said that, she turned around, dismissing him. But instead of taking a hint and walking away, he pressed himself against her side, pushing her hair away from her neck and breathing deeply into her ear. She shivered, and definitely not in a good way.

"Well, you know how it is. There are so many pretty ladies around here. Can't remember everyone, y'know?"

She elbowed him in the ribs, stepping away from him. "No. I don't." And at that moment Nicky came back with her food and handed her her change.

Josie smiled at Nicky, grabbing her food and pocketing her change. "Thanks so much Nicky," Then she swung her gaze over to Aaron who was rubbing her stomach where she elbowed him, "Aaron."

Aaron grunted.

Rolling her eyes, she walked over to her table and sat down, looking around for Reid. She frowned when she couldn't see him anyway. Actually...she couldn't see _any _of the Sons anywhere. Furrowing her eyebrows, she wondered where they could be, but then just shrugged and looked down at her food. But her stomach churned at the sight of it and Josie pushed the food away. Aaron just completely ruined her appetite. But, still, she paid for her food, so she should get to enjoy it.

"Maybe if I get some fresh air my stomach'll feel better." The brunette whispered to herself, getting out of her chair once again and pushing herself from numerous bodies until she reached the back door to Nicky's. She opened the door a bit, inspecting if anyone was there.

And then she saw the Sons.

Breath caught, she pulled the door a bit closer so they wouldn't notice her and watched the scene in front of her unfold.

Caleb Danvers' back was stiff, and it seemed all of his attention was on Reid. Tyler stood next to Reid while Pogue Parry stood next to Caleb. It seemed that they were done talking.

Suddenly, Reid held out his hands out in front of him, and Josie forgot to breathe when his eyes turned black, fire erupting in them. Caleb was pushed back by some invisible force, but not much, his feet skid from underneath himself but he stayed on them, not moving anymore. Caleb shook his head, and then did the same as Reid had, putting his hands out in front of him. Even though his back was turned, Josie was willing to bet that the same thing that had happened to Reid's eyes was happening with Caleb's eyes, too.

Instead of his feet skidding a bit like what had happened to Caleb, Reid was thrown all the way back into a wall, crashing into it with a thud. Josie then gasped loudly since she was frightened by the noise.

She saw Tyler, Caleb and Pogue give the door all of their attention.

The same door she was concealed behind.

Quickly, her brain finally came back from it's momentary jam and she shut the door, turning around hastily and running through the throng of people. Over the music, she heard the very door she was near shut loudly, signaling that the Sons - perhaps even Reid - had walked into Nicky's. Heart pounding loudly in her chest, she ran out of Nicky's from the front entrance, jumping into her car and driving away.

As she did so, her heart continued at its frightening place, and out of concern that she might collide with something on the road, she braked and stopped at the shoulder of road. Panting, she leaned her head against the steering-wheel, heart hammering. She couldn't believe what she had just saw. The Sons...having strange powers? Magic, maybe? She didn't know. Did she want to find out?_ Fuck yes. _But right now, she was scared out of her wits.

Maybe the Sons were more...different than she expected.

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**Silent Knight: What d'you guys think? Do you think the Sons saw her there? Or maybe they didn't - that they just knew there was someone there? Let me know with a simple little** review **that means a lot to me. Even one word will brighten up my day. :) **

**'Cause, c'mon, I'm sure you guys can give me a little more than** one **review **_(Thanks to the person who reviewed, by the way)_**.**

**See ya guys all next update!**

**Silent Knight over and out!**


	3. I had to stop myself

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T_

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**Silent Knight: Aww guys! Thanks so much for the support and the awesome reviews that I loved reading.**

**Also, check out my profile page and leaf through it if you want. There's a surprise for you guys at the posters for stories list. I'm sure you now understand what I mean by that. ;) Also, there's a little contest I have going on for this story. For the details, go over to my blog which is over on my profile page and skim through it. You'll be sure to find it. :D**

**Another thing you guys should know. **IMPORTANT! IMPORTANT! **There. Hopefully that will draw your attention. This story is before what happens in the movie, so that means no Sarah. Truthfully, I could never stand her in the movie and always have to make so many modifications to her in my brain when I first thought about having this before Sarah so I decided to have this happen before. Perhaps I'll write a story with Rosie [Reid/Josie] in it which is during the movie. Maybe. Another important thing is that, in this story, Kate knows about the Sons and their powers.****  
**

**I just wanted to say sorry for not updating for a while, I lost my inspiration, but I finally got it back so here's the next one. Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews, and hopefully this was well worth the wait.**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)**

**Enjoy!

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**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 3: I had to stop myself**

It was all so weird now. The Sons Of Ipswich weren't what Josie thought they were. She still doesn't know who they were. Sure, she wants to find out, but what if she doesn't like the end result? Like, maybe they're witches out to kill anyone who finds out their secret? But there was always the fact if they saw it was her who was spying on the two nights ago, in Nicky's. They hadn't approached her yet. But maybe it was because they were conjuring up some spell that will kill her? Okay, so, maybe Josie was freaking out a bit too much. But there was nothing else she could do! She was freaking out and even had dreams about that night at Nicky's. It was something she _definitely _wouldn't forget.

So...what did she feel about Reid now? Josie had no clue at all. Her feelings for him ever so neat and intact before. Everything about him made her like him, obsess over him even more than before. And every day her feelings would escalate. But now it was all mixed up, all over the place. Her feelings from before were present, but more mellowed down with fear, amazement, hesitation and not to mention she was confused with everything that had went down. What she saw was something that people would laugh at her for, telling her that she needed to go to a mental asylum. But Josie knew what she saw. She was positive of it.

But then, from that day forward, Josie always looked at the Sons more closely; trying to find signs of them using their powers. And she saw Reid with his black eyes _a lot_. Turns out, he doesn't hide them as nicely as any of the Sons thought; they were obvious to see, but people always casually brushed the sight out, the subconscious part of their brain telling them it was just the stupid lighting. But that was not the case. Josie now saw that Reid was the one who used his powers the most, Tyler after him, then Pogue while Caleb hardly used them.

Perhaps Caleb was the sort of leader - kind of like Leonardo from the Ninja Turtles. The one who's always trying to keep his brothers in check while following his sensei - Master Splinter's orders. He cared more about being found out by the New York people up in the city rather than anything else.

Reid would definitely be Raphael; the hot head in the group that always challenged Leonardo_ (i.e. Caleb)_ with every step, every move he made. They probably butted heads most of the time and he was also the most dangerous thing to them, for he was always pushing the boundaries and almost exposing them.

Pogue would be Michelangelo, always having fun and joking around. Sure, Reid could be Michelangelo, but there was more Raphael in him and his jokes were more gritty and perverted. Something Michelangelo would sometimes hint at, but not all the time. Though Raphael was pretty funny himself, in his own way, kind of Reid.

Tyler would be Donatello; the brains in their group and also the shy, quiet one, always tinkering around with technology and whatnot. He was the smart one that thought things through but also had a bit of a wild side, he was more in the background, though. It seemed that he didn't mind, for he rarely spoke up. Only around Reid - _always_ around Reid.

Kate Tunney, Pogue's girlfriend, would have to be April, the only human being - with the exception of Casey - who knew about the turtles but kept it on the down low. April had stepped onto something shocking, but she knew how to harbor a secret, becoming one of the Turtles' most trusted friend and ally.

She noticed that, the more she thought about it, the Sons _did _remind her of the Ninja Turtles and Kate reminded her of April as well; more than she thought at first. Well, except that they weren't mutated turtles that lived underground and in the sewers with a rat as a sensei and had supernatural powers.

Basically, she meant more like a personality-wise, what they were in their little _elite_ group.

Also, Josie noticed a lot of other things. She noticed that their eyes flashed black, the ring of fire erupting a lot more than she thought they would. Most of those times was just Reid, but that didn't make it excusable. Josie was surprised; she was always looking over at Reid, always. How could she never notice something big like that? Though she realized that Reid would sometimes close his eyes. She also remembered dismissing the times she saw his eyes turn black for the lack of lighting, which totally made her feel ashamed and embarrassed at how stupid she had been. How she hadn't noticed anything even slightly off with them. Sure, she liked Reid, but did that _really _make her blind to all of this magic stuff?

She had thought she was a fairly smart girl, but it seemed like she was wrong. Very wrong.

Like, whenever it was lunch time and the Sons were piled around their usual table, Pogue's girlfriend Kate Tunney with them, Reid, Pogue and Tyler would always be talking and laughing and smirking with each other right in the usual time frame of 11:45. Reid would look around and spot a girl, then point her out to Pogue and Tyler. They would talk some more, pulling some loose money out of their wallets and slapping it down onto the table. Caleb and Kate would both roll their eyes, which surprised Josie. Wasn't Kate jealous? Correction: _why _wasn't Kate jealous?

But, ignoring that question, she would always turn back towards the three Sons and silently watch as Reid would close his eyes, no doubt using that magic again, and the girl they were previously looking at - the one Pogue and Tyler were still looking at - would squeal, her skirt lifting up by some invisible breeze, her underwear in plain sight. Then one of them would take the money, grinning while the other two sighed and rolled their eyes, yet they were smiling as well.

After this happened four more times, Josie finally figured out why Kate wasn't jealous.

Because they weren't ogling a random girl they saw. They were betting on which colour - perhaps even which type maybe? - of underwear she was wearing underneath her skirt? When she realized this, she promised herself to always wear tights underneath her skirt, which she started to do the next day. Nobody regarded her with any looks for she wasn't anyone special - not that she minded or anything. She didn't want any attention drawn to her, like she had previously stated before. She was just a shy girl with a crush on a popular guy. The stupid Disney movie re-make, except her life was the real world, where you didn't get what you wanted.

Plus, the popular guy was actually a wizard or something, along with his friends. Their secret was hidden from everyone but Kate, and now, her.

Although they didn't know that. And Josie wanted that to stay that way. Forever until they finally left to go to a college, where they'd probably never see one another again. Though rumor had it that the Sons were interested in going to Harvard.

That was exactly where Josie was going, and so she hoped that they wouldn't get accepted, as cruel as that might be. Sure, she liked Reid and she didn't have anything against the Sons, but how would she be able to keep a big secret like that away from everyone? Even the people who's secret she knew? They knew someone had been there, someone who had seen it all. Whether or not they knew it was her was a complete mystery, so Josie tried her best not to be left alone for too long. She didn't want to have a confrontation with them any time soon.

Hopefully she'd manage to maintain this, but she had a rising suspicion that they'd find out if they didn't know already, and when that day came, Josie would be clean out of luck.

It also didn't help that she wasn't a great liar.

* * *

Did she still like Reid Garwin, wizard extraordinaire like she used to before?

That was the billion dollar question.

Josie still hadn't made her mind up about this, even though she said - in her mind, conscious, whatever - that she still did, like she always said - thought, whatever. Same thing - when she thought about them or Reid. But the brunette didn't know at all; she wasn't sure if she regarded them because she still had a fascination with him or the fact that they're harboring a huge secret from everyone they know and meet on a regular basis.

Sometimes she'd mull this over and get a migraine, needing an aspirin but Spenser had a strict no-drugs policy. She could raise up her hand in class and ask to go to the nurse's, but she was too shy and she knew that in a few hours rumors would spread of her being pregnant who-knows' baby. So she tried her best to concentrate with a migraine, which, trust her, was a very hard thing to do.

This was why she decided to just try her best and not focus on that billion dollar question, no matter how much she wanted the answer to it.

Did she...or did she not?

That was the question.

* * *

At Nicky's, Josie decided to be very careful. She never looked over at them for too long, never regarded Reid and/or Tyler when they'd stand up and go to the pool tables for too long, never watch Kate dance - sometimes even dragging Pogue along with her - for too long and especially didn't glance at Caleb too long. After all, Caleb was the Leonardo in the group, and everyone knew that Leonardo was smart and known for always being suspicious of anything small or major, for he had to for the sake of keeping his family safe.

Though she remembered not to be too cautious, not to tremble or shake when they were anywhere near her. That would make them suspicious of her as well, which then would probably lead up to her demise, having them "eliminate" her...for good. And Josie would rather live, thank you very much.

But she could never stop her eyes from straying towards Reid, in his beanie glory. Watch - with a red face - as his jeans slung low on his waist; dangerously, you could say. How that smirk he wore on his face truly made his face light up. Watch as his gloved-fingers flex as he gripped the pool-stick expertly in his hand, snapping it nice and quick against the white ball. When he'd smile and sometimes even wink over at Tyler's direction when he managed to beat him yet again.

So...did this mean that she liked him, still? That she regarded him not only because of the secret he kept with his friends and Kate, but also because she was attracted to him and his playboy ways?

Her mind always came blank at this.

It seemed pretty obvious. Yes, she did. But then she would backtrack, look over everything again, and decide that no, she didn't. Then she'd backtrack again and change her mind once again. Repeat that over and over and you'll find yourself right in what Josie found herself in: a pickle.

Sometimes Josie just wanted to bang her head against the table that she was sitting at, but that would attract eyes. Perhaps even _his _eyes; his light, blue eyes that seemed to cut through everything he gazed over at _(_Could _he do that, though? If he wanted to?)_. So she refrained herself from doing so.

Sometimes she wanted to cry her eyeballs out, but the same thought came to her: too much attention would come her way. Perhaps even those pregnancy rumours would strike. She knew how much girls liked to declare that everyone was pregnant. Luckily she was not one of those girls, for she would gouge her eyeballs out if she was one. Kind of like how she wanted to do to the girls who were like that.

Finally, one day, she realized the truth. She finally got those billion dollars.

It was yet another day at Nicky's, and Josie would every now and then glance over at where Reid was playing with Aaron. Of course, Aaron was losing badly, but Josie discovered that the only reason - sometimes, that is - Reid would win was because he'd use. Only once or twice, though, but it still didn't make it fair.

Josie hated cheaters. She hated them with a fiery passion, truly. It was a weird thing to hate, really, but she hated cheaters. And liars. Whoever it may be, she always had violent pictures in her head of them getting hurt and her hurting them, which was very disturbing at times. Though Josie could never stop it for some reason. They'd play over and over in her head until the next day, when she'd only frown and grouch, but that would be it.

Yet, when she realized that Reid would cheat by using his powers, she prepared herself mentally. She waited for those disturbing pictures to start painting themselves in her head. And waited and waited...

Nothing came. Not one thing.

This surprised her a lot, for no matter who it might be, it would happen to her. There was no stopping it. Yet...there was no disturbing thoughts of Reid getting hit by a car or her stabbing him to death or something. Nothing. Her mind was blank, and Josie then found herself staring down at the slightly-dirty-with-dust tabletop in front of her, frowning slightly.

And then she knew. She knew that she looked, liked, stared at Reid still because it didn't matter that he was a sort-of wizard and might kill her if he found out that she knew about him and the others. She stared, she looked, she liked him because Reid was Reid. He was someone she was attracted to, someone who's personality truly intrigued her, for she knew that he had layers no one else knew of - only the ones who were very close to him and took the time in noticing those layers.

It seemed sort of childish reason as to how she had found out the answer, but to her it was like finding a black duckling from ten bright yellow ones: it just made perfect sense, it stuck out at her like a sore thumb.

Now she knew. Now she wouldn't have to think over it. Now she wouldn't get migraines. Now she was at rest.

But she then realized she wasn't.

They still knew there had been someone who had seen them, she still had the knowledge that no outsider had about them, they probably were on the prowl and trying desperately to find who was the one who had seen them use their powers. Plus, Reid still didn't know she existed.

So, yeah, nothing was alright.

She definitely wasn't at rest.

Well shit, this really made things suck all over again.

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**Silent Knight: Soo...no cliffie this time around. Are you all relieved about that or disappointed? Also, yay! Josie likes Reid for Reid! =) On the same yet sort-of different note, what do you think about Josie? What do you think of my protrayal of Reid so far? Do you want Josie to be with him or someone else?**

**Thanks so much for the reviews and I really do hope you'll continue to write more! You know you want to. *cue cute winky face***

**Silent Knight over and out!  
**


	4. You're leaving me breathless

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

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**Silent Knight: Thanks so much for all the reviews all of you gave out! =) I loved reading them.**

**Finally, after some time of writing excessively and losing my plot bunny for a second here and there, I finally managed to finish this. For all those people who wish Josie would get a backbone, I think you might like this one! ;) Along with all you Rosie [Reid/Josie] lovers out there!**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)**

**Enjoy!

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**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 4: You're leaving me breathless**

Mornings were one of the most boring times of Josie's day, for there was nothing really to do. Sure, there were test, assignments, notes to take, questions to answer, handouts - but there were no Sons. There was no Reid. The first class Josie saw Reid in was History, and she did like History as well, too. You could say that it was a win-win situation for her, really.

AP English was Josie's first class, and it was also the only class that she didn't have with Reid. Even though she could pass the class with A's and B's, she didn't like English. Never did, never does and quite possibly never will. And with no Reid there it made it even more worse and boring and dull. Though this didn't mean that she didn't pay attention; she had to pay attention at least a little if she wanted to pass and not have her parents beat the crap out of her for getting a C in the class or something, so Josie tried her best to complete all work passed out for AP English with the best of her ability.

There were times when she had gotten so much homework from other classes and so she has to do the English work at around two o'clock at night, which is why she sometimes gets B's. Poems were also one of the things that was her weak spot. Short stories were a pain for Josie; she would get a nice, layered plot, but the short story could only be a couple pages long, so Josie usually had to cut off most of the layers in the plot and she would finish her dull yet descriptive short story and would then hand it in when its due.

What Josie liked the most about AP English was that her teacher gave them a big assignment that they had to finish every week for the semester.

The assignment was that every Friday they had to hand in a chapter of a random, made up story of theirs. They had been given a couple of weeks to make and strengthen their plots, characters and arrange a plot line so they would be able to finally end their story at the end of semester. If they managed to finish their story beforehand then they would get marks off on how many Fridays they missed, and if they didn't manage to finish the story when the end of semester came then her teacher would then read over the story and decide whether or not the story seemed to be near an end or right in the middle and take that in account when she would write out the marks.

It was fun for Josie, to write a story and had gotten a head start. She was two chapters ahead every Friday, which meant that she always had the chapter she had to hand in ready to be handed. Plus, before they started their story, her teacher allowed all of them to write a few short stories about their characters and a bit about the plot so they would be able to grasp the story and how they would write it before they begin.

All in all, the assignment was very fun, and Josie always had a blast writing it and getting praise on Monday on how good the chapter had been. This was the only thing that Josie loved about AP English. Other than that, it was boring and dull and she hated going to class. The story was the only thing she managed to look forward to for the day.

"Alright class! Monday is here!" Said her teacher, Ms. Fox. She had wild red hair and pretty tan skin, her bright blue eyes lighting up. The blue sort of made Josie remember Reid's eyes, though his was more bluer and you could easily fall into the depths of those pools. Anyway - basically, Ms. Fox's last name really matched her looks. Plus, she was pretty skinny and walked gracefully as well. Though she was awfully cheery, one of the things Josie didn't like a lot on the crappy days, like Mondays. Which just happened to be today, as she had chirped before.

"I'd like to give you all an assignment. It's short, so you won't have to do much work, really. Write a short story of three maximum pages for your full-fledged story. At least two characters from your story has to be in that short story. It's due on Wednesday. Let me know if you'd like more time by tomorrow, or there will be nothing I can do for you." And from there Ms. Fox started to go on about something else, a famous book called Romeo and Juliet, and went in depth about the characters.

Finally, after a while on boring work, Ms. Fox finally announced that it was time for next period. A smile graced Josie's face as she heard that, and she got up from her seat, grabbed her things and practically floated out of class, smile plastered on her face. It was time.

Josie knew her obsession with a certain Garwin wasn't a good one, for he only knew how to have one night stands and nothing else, though she didn't think that if he suggested that they do so that she'd say yes. She liked to watch from afar, but didn't want a one night stand, though.

If she wanted to be with Reid in any way, it would be relationship-wise, even friend-wise would do. Though never just fling-wise. Josie certainly wasn't that type of girl.

Plus, Reid was a heart breaker - screw them once, then leave them and forget about them. There was no way she was going to be yet another girl who pines over him though she's had sex with him so he doesn't care about her. Josie would rather be the shy girl who pines over him though she hasn't had sex him so he doesn't notice her at all.

My musings were immediately cut short when I saw Reid and Tyler walking into the room, angrily talking to each other. Since they sat two seats ahead of me, I was still able to peer over at them and was able to hear their whispers, tidbits here and there anyway.

"I'm telling you...Abbot...asking for it." Reid whispered angrily, running a hand through his blond locks.

Tyler shook his head at him. "...idiot...Caleb will...have your ass..." Was what she heard him say.

"Whatever. I don't...about him...jealous of me...Abbot doesn't even suspect...me..." From what Josie had just heard, it had something to do with Aaron and that Reid had done something to him, which he didn't suspect him for at all. But why not? He always suspected him for everything, and most of the time it was because he knew that it was Reid's fault. So that must meant that he had probably used his powers on him for Aaron had pissed him off, no doubt. Josie was suprised at herself for being to uncover the truth so easily. She knew that if she had been hearing this conversation before she had found out about their strange powers that she would've been thoroughly confused about the situation.

The teacher Mr. Briggs, on the other hand, didn't seem to be as caught up in their conversation as Josie had seemed to be, for he was frowning at the two of them angrily. "Mr. Garwin, Mr. Simms!" He shouted up towards them, causing the two boys to stop talking and to look at the teacher for the first time, "I have had enough of your talking! Mr. Simms, please switch seats with Wesley, please." He gave Josie a smile, and she gave him an awkward one back.

Ever since she had answered Mr. Briggs' so called "hardest question ever," she's been his pet. Or "teacher's pet," as others would whisper to each other whenever he'd favor her over others in the class, forcing a blush to come over Josie's cheeks. If Mr. Briggs actually thought that Josie's so-called smartness would rub off on Reid, then he was horribly wrong.

Awkwardly, Josie picked up her books, heart thumping wildly in her chest as she did so. Reid didn't look back at all, only folded his arms on the desk and buried his head in his arms. Tyler grabbed his books as well and the two passed each other as they walked towards the other's seats. Plopping down, Josie took a quick glance towards Reid before opening her notebook once more and start scribbling down the notes she needed to take, listening to the teacher even though her heart seemed to be in her throat now as she swallowed, biting her lip before sneaking another look at Reid. He still hadn't picked his head up from his arms.

"Ms. Wesley, would you like to answer the question?" She quickly looked over at Mr. Briggs. Having heard the question, she easily answered the question, seeing him smile at her and continue with his teachings. Immediately the whispers began again, bagging her as teacher's pet again, though she only rolled her eyes to herself before starting to take notes again, her heart still pumping hard.

Running a shaky hand through her hair, she let a curtain of it fall between Reid and herself. _God, I feel like I'm pulling a Bella_, Josie thought to herself, referring to the book Twilight. She had read the book and found herself detesting Bella because of her poor characterization and Edward because he was basically freaking flawless, another thing she didn't like in characters from any story she read, whether it be from Stephen King himself or someone she didn't read a lot like Stephanie Meyer.

She believed that if Meyer had put more thought into her, then she'd probably connect to Bella, for she did seem a bit like her, and her dilemma seemed with Edward seemed to be like hers with Reid. Well, except that Reid was more like a warlock than a vampire, but it was pretty much the same. Well, Josie didn't think she was as frail and wimpy like Bella. Maybe she was a bit wimpy, but she was more happy with staring in interest at Reid rather than being in an intimate relation with him, for that would mean that they would have to talk first. Reid didn't even notice her, so that meant that it would be her who would have to do the talking if they were ever to be together in an intimate way. And that was something she'd never do. Ever.

Mr. Briggs clapped his hands together. "Alright then. With a run-down of the history I've given you about Massachusetts, I'm going to place you with a partner and you'll have to decide what part of Massachusetts' history you'd like to find out about and present to the class in either a slide-show presentation or a poster presentation. Both will be worth equal marks, so you won't get more marks if you do the slide-show rather than the poster, for example," He then grabbed a file on his desk, "Now, onto the partners I've chosen for you all, though there will be a few changes." He glared at both Reid and Tyler when he said that last sentence, which made her heart race.

Mr. Briggs wasn't thinking...

"This will not be how I usually pair people up, but you'll have to learn to live with it." Meaning that not all partners wouldn't be paired up like he usually did teacher stereotype-wise by pairing everyone in the usual boy/boy and girl/girl form, nor will it be alphabetically last name-wise, either. Josie thought she was going to be sick to the stomach any minute now, for she had a feeling that...

"Mr. Garwin, let's start with you," He gave him a smirk, "You'll be placed with Ms. Wesley." He gave her a short smile before continuing on to Tyler, and then went on with others. Some people groaned, some people smiled at their friends happily, some sulked, some smiled to each other, some high-fived, some shyly looked at one another, but no one actually fought with Mr. Briggs. No one did that. Ever.

Although, it seemed that Reid was going to be the first - and quite possibly the only person is Spenser history - to do so.

"So, does anyone have any questions? Comments? Concerns?" Mr. Briggs finally asked when he had finally finished pairing people up.

Reid immediately raised his hand.

Mr. Briggs looked over at him, face bored, knowing what he was going to ask already. "Yes, Mr. Garwin?" He drawled out, sighing it seemed to himself. He then crossed his arms as he waited for Reid to start complaining. Josie looked away from everyone and began fiddling with her things, cheeks burning from the attention she would no doubt start to receive.

"Yeah. I got a question, concern, whatever," Reid then started, "Uh, I'd like to switch partners. _Ms. Wesley _isn't exactly working for me, really." Whispers, giggles and whatnot immediately started, and Josie felt her cheeks growing redder as she then began to fiddle around with her fingers, running her hands through her hair every now and then, though she was all-ears about what Mr. Briggs would respond with.

She wondered if he'd pair them up with different people, and she hoped that that would be exactly what would happen. Sure, she liked Reid - she liked him a lot, but working with him for a project? No siree bob. That was something she definitely was not willing to do, but if Mr. Briggs forced them to do so, she had absolutely no option whatsoever. Plus, she didn't want to be on his bad side. Sure, being on his good side wasn't considered great to the other students, but being on his bad side, in Josie's opinion, was way worse.

She meant, take Reid for instance. Mr. Briggs always tries to make his life more miserable every living second Reid was near him. Take the situation that was occurring right now, for instance.

"Three things, Mr. Garwin. First, that's not a question, that's a concern. Second, you haven't started on the project yet. Third, you are now no longer allowed to whine about who I have chosen for you. I will not switch partners for you - and, thanks to Mr. Garwin, that goes for everyone. I do not care what the reason might be." Everyone who weren't happy with their partners all began to glare at Reid, Son Of Ipswich or not.

And there you have it. The number one reason why Josie didn't want to be on Mr. Briggs' bad side.

"Now, everyone, I suggest you get to work with your partners." And just like that, everyone began moving seats; some were already sitting to one another, like Reid and Josie, but there were more people who had to move around. Josie sat in her seat awkwardly, not sure what to do. She wasn't sure if she should take to Reid at all, for she already knew that he didn't want her to be her partner. She felt uneasy as she sat there, so she decided to flip a page in her notebook and neatly write "History Project" on the margin, and then wrote down whatever Mr. Briggs was writing on the white board about the project, all the while ignoring Reid, who did the same to her.

Although, when she was done writing, there was nothing else to do but discuss what they were going to do concerning the slide-show and poster and what the project would be on. Josie was thinking the Salem Witch Trials, but that would also be delving into the Sons' ancestry a bit, considering the fact that they were present when the Salem Witch Trials had been taking place. Josie had a feeling that the Sons' ancestry was more connected to the Witch Trials then it was known, considering the fact that they had magic and whatnot. Josie wasn't sure how Reid would feel about that, though, researching about the Salem Witch Trials. And so she had to ask him what he wanted to do the project on...though that meant she'd have to talk to him, and it seemed like he wouldn't be striking up a conversation any time soon.

Sighing, she turned towards his slumped figure, heart beating fast once again. She wanted to slow it down so badly, but couldn't. So she opted for just opening her mouth and speaking to him, to just let out her words very quickly and try to shut out what she was saying so she wouldn't be more nervous.

"Uhm...R-Reid?" Crap, her voice was getting all cracky already, "...w-what do you want to do the project on?" First, there was silence. Josie just sat there, quietly waiting for him to respond back. She knew it wouldn't be politely.

But the silence only droned on, until she was sure that he had no intention of responding to her question at all. Though Josie didn't want to be rude, for she was scared of him and who knows what he might do to her in a fit of rage? Probably use his powers on her; if not now, then maybe later, perhaps when she was in her dorm room. After all, she didn't have a roommate for there weren't an equal number of girls in Spenser.

"Uh...Reid? D-Did you...uh, hear me?" The silence urged her to continue, and so she did, "I asked -"

Suddenly, so suddenly that Josie jerked in her seat and almost shrieked, Reid lifted his head up from his arms quickly, his eyes boring into hers. "Look, I'm trying to sleep here, okay? Leave me the fuck alone and just do the stupid work. I don't give a fuck about this project so I certainly _won't _be helping you with it at all." His voice had been terribly low as he said those words, which both scared her and...intrigued her, you could say.

Even though Josie was scared of Reid, she most certainly wasn't going to do all of the work just because he didn't like her and quite possibly had wanted Tyler as his partner or someone else who look more...attractive than her. Josie didn't give a damn. Her parents were very strict about marks, and if she got anything below an A they would be very upset with her. And by upset that meant angry. Sure, they were nice people, but they cared about her grades. After all, they wanted her to get into Harvard, as did Josie, and there was no way _a boy _was going to stop her from going there.

Licking her lips, she forced herself to let out the next stream of words that would no doubt make laser beams shoot out of Reid's eyes and vaporize her where she sat. "Look, I don't care if you don't like me or if you don't care about this project. Either you help me with this project and get a good grade or you do it by yourself without my help and fail miserably. I don't care how childish it might be, but I will make sure to tell Mr. Briggs that you told me to do this whole project without your aid while you drool on your stupid desk," Well their desks were all adjoined, but she didn't give a damn, "So I think you might want to pay more attention to this project, Reid. I don't care you are or who you _think _you are; I just want to finish this project and pass." Josie was surprised that she had such a backbone - and that it had shown when talking to Reid no less.

It seemed that he felt the same too, for his shoulders tensed, and he was as still as a block of ice, face still hiding in his tangle of arms. Her heart thumped even more as she waited for those laser beams to smolder her, but instead it was his eyes that smoldered her. She sat as still as she did, eyes boring into his, though she could feel red seeping into her cheeks, and cursed inwardly at that. He noticed the redden cheeks and - get this - smirked, chuckling to himself.

Reid shook his head at her, then slouched back. "Gotta say, you sure do have guts to actually stand up to me, Wesley. I have to give you that. But the speech? A little too dramatic, don't you think? Plus, you practically kept on saying the same thing, just with some rephrasing here and there, but whatever," Sighing, he rubbed his eyes, "And - alright. I'll help you this stupid project. But don't go all fangirly on me with all that blushing, okay? Okay." More redden cheeks bloomed at that last sentence, and she turned away from him.

"My God, you've already started on me," An exasperated sigh was heard, "Well, whatever. Can't help that I'm desirable."

Josie cleared her throat. "I-I never said that." She murmured softly, still not looking him in the eye. But he was so right. He was basically turning her to mush by actually talking to her and he had done nothing but insult the ever-living crap out of her. Though that was who Reid was, whether it not be the _real him_. It was still _part _of him.

"It was implied," Was his smooth comeback, "Anyway. So, where should we meet. You dorm or mine?" That question sounded...naughty, which made her blush once more. Though it was Reid who made it sound even more suggestive, for his voice had dipped low and he had that suggestive look on his face. He even wiggled his eyebrows when he asked her that. Reid knew exactly what that could have meant, and he wanted her to know that, too.

"Uhm...the l-library would d-do just f-f-fine." Stupid, stupid stuttering. How Josie wished she would stop doing that, but she had a feeling that she would stutter in front of him for the rest of her life. If he would even be in her life for long. During this conversation, Josie tried her best to remind herself that this was just one measly History project she had to do with him. After this project was done, he'd forget her name and then she'd once more be another face in the crowd for him, like she always was for everyone.

"Alright. But I was hoping that you'd say -"

"Okay class! The period has ended. Hopefully, some of you actually got _some _work done." When he said that last sentence, he looked directly looked at Reid, which enticed some snickers from students here and there. Josie noticed that Tyler was softly chuckling along as well, and couldn't help but smile in amusement. Mr. Briggs _really _hated Reid, and he never let anyone forget that. Reid just remained laid back, and said nor did nothing, only stared at Mr. Briggs with a small smirk.

"Now, all of you, get out of here! See you all tomorrow, bright and early." Groans escaped some kids when he said that, causing him to let out a small, amused chuckle as he walked towards his desk, plopping down on the chair as everyone gathered their belongings.

Josie picked up her books, looking over at Reid. "When do you have free period?" She asked, knowing full well that it was when she had it.

Reid rolled his eyes. "You and I both know you already know that. I've seen you in the hallways when it's free period and all that. I'll see you in the library in free period - you know, if I'm not busy ditching." He smirked at her when he said that.

She frowned. "Remember. I'll tell Mr. Briggs you're not helping. If you don't come, then that's the first thing I'll do when I step in this classroom." Was her warning.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes once again, striding confidently towards Tyler, who was leaning against the door casually.

Making sure that she had all of her books and such, Josie carefully made her trek down the stairs safely, adjusting the strap to her small string bag in which she kept her gym clothes when she reached the bottom. Mr. Briggs then got up from his chair and walked towards her, his footfalls echoing loudly in the now-empty room. Josie looked up at him, confused. He never approached her after class before, sometimes he smiled or nodded at her when she left, but that was about it.

"Ms. Wesley, if _Mr. Garwin_ ever troubles you, do let me know. I'll make sure that he doesn't. And if you'd like to work by yourself because he's not adequate enough, do let me know about that, too." Josie nodded at him, giving him a polite smile.

"Yes, Mr. Briggs. I'll make sure to do so. He's not causing trouble...so far." Josie said confidently. He nodded back at her, then strode towards his chair while she walked right out of the classroom and went to her next period: gym. But then she stopped in her tracks, head spinning at what had just happened.

She swallowed. "Reid Garwin actually looked in my direction for once." The girl whispered to herself. At first, she wasn't sure as to what she should feel: happiness, sadness, if she should be afraid, cautious.

Instead, she decided to smile.

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**Silent Knight: Sucky ending, I know, but whatever. Who liked this one? Show of hands! lol I liked the Rosie interaction and how Josie stood up to Reid. What did you guys like about this one? What did you think about Reid's portrayal this time, now that there was an actual conversation between Josie and Reid? Was he in character? Slightly out of character? Totally out of character? Let me know what you think. Don't be shy. ;)**

**Hopefully you all are continuing to go along with this story and haven't found it **too **boring.**

**Silent Knight over and out!**


	5. Now when I caught myself

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T_

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**Silent Knight: Howdy folks! :) Hopefully this update wasn't too late. Thank you so much for the reviews - but I'm sure you can do better than that, can't you? Can't you? C'mon - show me the awesome reviews you guys can give me!**

**Anyways - some more Reid/Josie interaction for you all, along with some shocks and surprises. ;) Hope you likey.**

**Disclaimer: Take a glance at chapter one, would ya?**

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**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 5: Now when I caught myself**

About three things Josie knew for sure. One, Reid was sort of a wizard you could say, along with the rest of the Sons Of Ipswich. Two, Reid wasn't paying attention to her or the damn History project at all.

And three, Reid Garwin was one big jackass.

And even though she knew that he was a huge jackass, she couldn't force her heart to _not _beat loudly when he was sitting so close to her, in Spenser's library, books surrounding her as she wrote down possible research topics with little pros and cons that she could think of next to them in her trusty journal. Reid was doing absolutely nothing; just looking around tiredly, arms folded on the table, back slouched. Josie hadn't spoken a word to him since the incident that had happened in History class, when he had mouthed off to her and she had talked back. She still didn't believe that she had done so.

Josie diligently wrote down "Salem Witch Hunt," then paused, starting at the page, transfixed by the possible project title. _Salem Witch Hunt...Sons Of Ipswich...hmm..._

Could Reid's ancestry line be part of the Salem Witch Hunt - like, part of the people that had been hunted? After all, back then, people had been killed under suspicion that they were witches, and the Sons Of Ipswich _were _witches, and they had come from Salem when the Witch Hunt had started, all but one line, the Pope line that had been ruthlessly taken out for people had been wary of them and accused them of witchcraft. Josie's forehead creased, and she knew immediately that that was the reason the Parry, Danvers, Simms and Garwin line had come here. It all made perfect sense.

The blond boy next to her sighed out of nowhere, scaring her silly. "Look, I wasn't too gung-ho about working with you yesterday," Reid was so loud that the librarian shushed him immediately, but he only smirked and winked at her, angering the librarian further, "And I know that I said I wouldn't help you and all, but I had...other stuff on my mind that I was trying to forget and you talking to me had irritated me," She guessed that he was talking about the whole Caleb thing he had been discussing with Tyler, "So, I guess I'm tryin' to say...uh...I'm...s-...fuck I thought this was gonna be easy...I'm trying to say -" Josie cut him off.

"Th-that you're...s-sorry?" Damn it! Stupid stutters! Josie wished that they'd stop already. Reid gave her a short, lazy smile, nodding his head. Her heart immediately warmed at that, fighting the blush that was starting to litter across her face. Long story short - she lost. Miserably. But the blond chuckled when he saw her reddened cheeks, which made her blush even harder.

She cleared her throat. "Uh...y-you're forgiven." Then the brunette ducked her head, writing down a con that would no doubt be true if they decided to base their project on the Salem Witch Hunt.

_Con: Lots of people no doubt are going to be doing their project on the Salem Witch Hunt._

Josie scratched the back of her neck, thinking hard about what else could be bad about choosing to do the project on the Salem Witch Hunt. Then she came up with a pro.

_Pro: Mr. Briggs won't be able to single out our project._

She frowned. Wasn't that, in a way, a con as well? Bitting her lip, Josie nodded inwardly to herself. Yeah, that was both a pro and a con. She then added,

_Pro and con: Mr. Briggs won't be able to single out our project._

The brunette rubbed her brow, then looked over at the blond boy sitting next to her. This would go a lot more easier if he helped out with _something_. And he _did _just apologize, so that meant that there wasn't any bad blood between them anymore. She guessed that it'd be alright if she asked him to do something. It could be anything at all. She shuffled her papers around, looking at what he could do. Should she ask him to choose which topic they should base their project on? Should she ask him to correct the pros and cons for every topic? Should she ask him to add some of his own pros and cons to the topics? Should she ask him to brainstorm some more topic ideas? She scratched the back of her neck again, licking her chapped lips and then turning towards him once more.

"W-Well, could write down which topics you like and dislike?" She grabbed her pencil case and rooted for two highlighters, "Pink for the ones you dislike the most and yellow for the ones you like the most. The ones you don't really care for don't need to be highlighted." Ripping out all the pages that had all the topic ideas she had researched and brainstormed out, she pushed the highlighters and the pages over to him, though didn't hand him the page she was currently writing on.

Reid raised an eyebrow. "Uh...I said I was sorry, not that I was gonna do anything," He then smirked at her, "After all, I've got you to do it, don't I?" He pushed the papers and highlighters back towards her, resting the side of his temple on his closed fist, his head turned towards her. Under the library's lights, his blue eyes sparked beautifully, and the thumping in her heart from before suddenly came back for revenge.

"I know you didn't, R-Reid, but I'd like you to do so." Josie said politely, pushing the papers and the highlighters back. They stared into each other's eyes for a while, until Reid looked away, sighing. Josie was surprised that he actually did so, but instead of saying anything, she just stared at him until he looked back at her. Reid then nodded obediently, some of his blond hair falling into his eyes, making him frown and push them back, murmuring about a haircut. Reid then uncapped the yellow highlighter, placing the cap blindly onto the table, eyes on the pages in front of him. The cap rolled on the table until it finally fell off the edge.

Josie went down to retrieve it, but that was when Reid did the same, and not only did their head bash together, but their hands bumped together as well. Reid was the first to pull away, nursing his swore head.

"Ouch! Watch it!" He growled angrily, making her shrink back. The librarian shushed him, glaring at him like he was the son of Satan, and Josie swore that she saw the middle finger on his right hand twitch, as if he wanted to flip the old woman off.

The people from their History class saw Reid's little snap at Josie and laughed quietly to each other, whispering and pointing. Mr. Briggs frowned at Reid, glaring at him even worse than the librarian, but instead of Reid's temper flaring, he only ignored him. In fact, he ignored everyone, even Josie herself now. Gulping, she reached down and picked up the highlighter cap, placing it near Reid, and almost expected him to glare at her or something, but he just plain ignored her.

She wasn't sure which one was worse: him ignoring her, or him glaring at her. But she didn't care; she didn't want to dwell on it. She just wanted to forget all about Reid Garwin for a small moment. And so, now scared of him and his temper, Josie went back to writing down pros and cons for the Salem Witch Trials while Reid went back to highlighting the topic ideas.

After a moment, Mr. Briggs stood up from where he was sitting, on the huge round desk located near the library's entrance. "Alright kids," He snapped, eyes filled with malice still directed at Reid, "Time for next period. Get your stuff and get the heck outta here." And that was all the brunette needed to hear. Gathering her stuff at a fast speed, she shot out of the library, fast-walking, ignoring all the snickers and whispers that were no doubt about her and Reid. She saw Mr. Briggs face; knew that he wanted to talk to her about Reid's rude behavior, but right then and there, she could care less about Reid or Mr. Briggs or all the students she left behind there in the library.

Right then and there, she wished that she didn't have an ache in her heart; the ache that screamed, _"Must pass Spenser to go to Harvard! Harvard, Harvard, _HARVARD_!" _Drooping her shoulders, she slowed her fast-walk and walked down the hallway that would take her to her next class of the day.

* * *

Lunch.

Ah, lunch.

The almost-worse part of the day for her today.

Usually, she'd grab a tray, head off towards the cafeteria line, get some food, pay for it, sit down at an empty table and watch Reid all throughout lunch while taking small, meager bites from her lunch, but today was different. Today she didn't want to even glance in his direction. Today was definitely a weird day filled with shocks and surprises. At first, they were pleasant ones. Now, she just wanted all of the shocks and surprises to end already, but she had a feeling that something big was going to happen today, if the whole Reid-being-my-partner-and-hating-my-guts-all-over-again wasn't bad enough.

Oh God how much she wanted an Advil right now. She'd most definitely kill for an Advil.

Josie sighed, knowing that drugs - even if they were something like Advil - weren't allowed; they were in the nurse's room though, but no where else. Shaking her head, she walked towards the cafeteria line, grabbing a tray and waiting patiently for the line to move up. She stayed there for a while, got her food, paid for it, and now there she was, looking around for an empty lunch table. Groaning, she realized that there weren't any empty ones left. She had been too late to snag one, so what was she going to do now? Usually she'd sit with the goths or the emos or whatever else people called those groups, but they were all full. Frowning, she scanned around, stuck standing there in the cafeteria looking like a complete dork as she did so.

Thank goodness no one was staring at her, watching her as she contemplated on what to do. That would've been thoroughly embarrassing.

But then she noticed that some people _were _staring at her; pointing and whispering and laughing with their friends, eyes on her. She remembered most of them from History class, the others must've heard random rumors or something. Her ears started to heat up.

"So, Josie Wesley." Purred a voice from behind her. Immediately she turned to see who it was, coming face to face with a smiling Kira Snider, Aaron's "girlfriend" if Kira would say so herself. More like Aaron's personal pussy if you'd ask Josie, but she wouldn't dare voice that out loud, wimp that she is.

"Yes. I am she." Was all that the brunette could muster up, shrugging her shoulders at her like Kira always came up to her, always talked to her, when this was the first time she had done either. Hopefully she didn't see Aaron with her at Nicky's...oh who is she kidding? Kira stalks Aaron like Josie stalks Reid, so _of course_ she had seen their interaction, which was bad news for her. She had a feeling that this redhead would rip her apart limb from limb now...

Kira rolled her eyes. "God, you sound like you have a stick up your ass. Would you like me to take it out for you?" She asked rather rudely.

Josie raised an eyebrow, and all that pent up anger from dealing with Reid finally sparked in her, and before she could think better of it, she opened her mouth to reply, "I'm sure you'd love to, Kira, but no thanks. Why don't you ask Aaron to take out the stick up _your _ass instead?" Okay, that had to be the worst comeback in history, but it was enough for the snarky redhead to simply go ballistic.

_"What did you say to me?" _Kira snarled angrily, stepping closer to her. Josie took up step back, not wanting her to invade her personal space, though it looked more like she was scared of her.

The fire in her still hadn't been doused off, so Josie immediately answered with a, "I think you heard, unless you've got all that bleached hair stuck in your ears." Kira gasped with outrage, practically shaking from her own anger. Why did Josie have a feeling that Kira was more than likely going to punch her any time soon?

"Gosh Snider, you PMSing or something?" Came a bored voice from beside Josie. Before she could swing her head over to see who it was, the mystery person stood in front of Josie, as if protecting her from Kira, and the brunette almost gasped from seeing the whiteish blond hair on the stranger's head. They were wearing a very loose black hoodie that dropped on his torso and arms, rolled up to their elbows, and even loose jeans that slung low on their hips. Josie knew exactly who this _stranger _was...

...it was Reid.

But why was he coming to her defense? She thought that he hated her - didn't he? Perhaps he just wanted to anger both Kira and Aaron or something? Josie had absolutely no idea as to why he was here, aiding her. But he probably saw his best interests in this, considering the fact that he didn't like the redhead or that curly-haired asshole _(cough cough Aaron)_.

The brunette girl could no longer see Kira, but she could sure hear her. "Garwin. What a pleasant surprise." Her voice had gotten all breathy, and Josie scrunched up her face when she realized that Kira was trying to - in a _very _vain attempt - seduce him. Okay, she definitely threw up in her mouth a little.

"Yeah. Right," Reid seemed to be immune to her slutty _charms_, "What do you want, Snider?"

Kira let out a small laugh. "I don't want anything with you, Garwin. I was just having a..._chat _with Wesley over here." Reid turned to look over his shoulder at the brunette, making her heart race wildly in her chest, before turning back towards the redhead in front of him.

"I think you should know already, _Kira_; Wesley isn't interested in you. Said so herself. So why don't you go scamper off like a good puppy and get a dick in you, okay? No need to deflower innocent little virgin girls." _Innocent little virgin girls? Is that seriously what he thinks of me? _Josie thought angrily to herself, her knuckles turning white for her grip on her lunch tray tightened considerably, but thankfully no one noticed - well, could notice, for Reid towered over her, blocking her off from everyone completely, like she wasn't even there.

Kira let out a loud snarl before stomping off, and the once-silent cafeteria suddenly started roaring again; whispers, laughter, gossip ran about, and Josie wanted to smack her head against a wall. No doubt all the rumors about this were going to get passed around; Reid and Kira didn't argue loudly, so not many people heard. Who knew what kind of false rumors were going to spread now.

Reid turned around to look at her. "...well? Aren't you gonna say thanks?" He asked rudely.

The brunette girl sighed, not really in a fighting mood. "Thank you." She said to him. He nodded then. They stood in silence then - a very tense, awkward silence. The blond Son Of Ipswich cleared his throat, making her look up from the floor and at him.

"Sorry about what happened in the library." He looked uncomfortable when he said it, so Josie just gave him a short smile and nodded. He then turned and walked away, once again leaving her with the dilemma with trying to find a place to sit down. She blushed terribly when she noticed more than half the people in the cafeteria were now staring at her, but she decided to ignore them and stare after Reid, who was walking towards his lunch rable, sitting down next to Kate and the other Sons. He only spoke briefly with them until Kate, frowning, looked up and stared at Josie, making her blush and look away. She shuffled her feet awkwardly, not sure as to what she should do next.

Suddenly she heard someone approaching her, and looked up see that it was Kate, who was giving her a warm smile. "Hey. I couldn't help but notice you don't have anywhere to sit. Reid's a total jerk for not asking you himself but instead telling me to do his dirty work and ask you." Josie furrowed her eyebrows, tilting her head to the side just slightly.

"Ask me what?"

"Would you like to sit with us for the remainder of the lunch?"

And her heart completely stopped.

* * *

Josie was now in her bed, in her empty dorm room. There was no more room in Spenser, for she was an odd girl out in the school, so that meant that she got to have her own dorm. Fun times. But at least that meant she didn't have to make any conversation with some random girl who she might or might not have liked, so all was good.

Her eyes couldn't see a damn thing for it was so dark, but it was time for bed, so she closed her eyes and tried to stop her racing thoughts that were scrambling about her head, not believing the fact that she had sat with _Kate and the Sons Of Ipswich _today. It was totally crazy that Reid had wanted her to sit with them too, so she decided to act like Kate was just joking when she had told her that. She had to be, for there was no way Reid would really want her to sit with them. He had said nothing to her when she had sat down, and didn't say anything to her for the rest of the day. Kira had shot her angry looks, but other than that didn't approach her. Kate and the other Sons were pretty nice; flashing her polite smiles every time they managed to lock eyes, and Josie would always return the favor.

At lunch, they just had introduced themselves, but other than that it was like Josie wasn't even sitting there. Although, Kate talked to her a bit, and tried to include her in conversations, which was mighty nice of her, but the brunette decided just to be silent and eat her lunch quietly. Surprisingly, Reid had done the same, though he had talked a bit with Tyler every now and then, which made her wonder: was this the real Reid Garwin? Was he always this quiet? Josie had no idea, but it sure beat jackass Reid.

Sighing, she turned in bed, and closed her eyes, wishing that she would just fall asleep already.

And finally, she did.

* * *

_So, there was this princess._

_She was stuck up this high tower, and was forced by an evil witch to stay mute and slumber peacefully. Only a true love's kiss could unbind the spell and have her speak again, and that would be when she would wake up as well. It seemed easy enough, but no one came to rescue the princess and give her a kiss, for no one really thought she was pretty and there was a dragon guarding the huge tower and the princess. He was a lazy dragon; with curly-hair red hair and a terrifying grin. Plus, there was no way to get in or out the tower, which made things even more harder._

_So, there was this handsome prince._

_He had no idea what was up in that tower, and he didn't care who it was, either. The surprising thing was that this handsome prince had a secret. He knew witchcraft, along with his four friends. One of his four friends had wedded, though, so his wife was then told the secret, which meant that there was yet another who knew of them. When his professor tells him about the girl in the tower, and explains that only the bravest of all princes could bypass the dragon and scale the tower, then give the slumbering, mute princess inside a kiss, the prince knew that he had gotten a challenge._

_And he loved challenges._

_He bypassed the sleeping dragon easily. He scaled the tower by using his wizardry. Now in the tower, he reached the bed that the princess was in, and taking a small breath, kissed her. Immediately, she woke. With a smile, she explained to him that they must be wed at once. The prince was surprised; he didn't want to marry her, he didn't even like her! He just loved challenges._

_She explained that only a true love's kiss could awaken her from her slumber and the curse that the evil witch had given her - making her a mute - had been lifted as well because of the kiss. _

_Shocked, the prince explained that he wanted nothing to do with her, and easily left her alone in the tower._

_With no way to get down, the princess stayed there for the rest of her life until her death with no one by her side. The prince lived an happy life, not even remembering the princess he had left, and he married, had kids and died._

_And that was the end of their not-so-fairy tale.

* * *

_

**Silent Knight: Ooh, coolness! :) A lot more Reid/Josie interaction, along with some Kira thrown in there! I'm sorry that I didn't write what else happened at lunch time, not properly introducing the rest of the Sons and Kate some more, but what are you gonna do? All Josie did was say anything, along with Reid, so what was there to write about, y'know? Anyways, I hope you guys liked this chapter. =)**

**Review like bunnies, folks!**

**Silent Knight over and out!**


	6. You're pushing and pulling me

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

* * *

_

**Silent Knight: So...after ****you're all done reading this chapter**, some of you might** be a little angry at me. I mean, they keep on fighting and ignoring and hating **_(Well, Reid's doing all three of them, really, but you get my point)_** and so some of you might not like this one. But, hello? This story is ReidxOC. One of the genres is romance, so **of course** they are to be together in the end. But, I'm thinking about having a sequel. I do know that this is only the sixth chapter and so I shouldn't be thinking of one, but I am. What are your thoughts about a sequel, guys? Let me know. :)**

**Speaking of the sixth chapter - yay! Sixth chapter! This has to be my longest story **ever**. A bit shaming? Yes. But aren't you Covenant fans feeling** lucky** that I actually managed to drag this to the sixth chapter? Also - good news! I have the whole story - well, most of it, along with the ending - all figured out and writen down. **Ain't that awesome?** I know. It is. Boo. Yeah.**

**Anywho, onto the disclaimer/claimer and then the story!**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)**

* * *

**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 6: You're pushing and pulling me**

Josie immediately snapped her eyes open, looking around her room wildly for an unknown reason. Sitting up in bed, she balanced an elbow on her bent leg, then placed her head in her open palm, cradling it. Her mind raced back to her weird dream, and all the emotions it forced her to harbor: sadness, hope, joy, love, betrayal, pain, sadness...then, nothingness. The emotions probably had to be the only reason that dream was so horrifying.

The funny thing was, she thought at first that the dream would be a clichéd happily-ever-after fairy tale. She thought that the princess - who, obviously, was her - would have the prince - his face had been fogged out so she didn't know how he looked like.

Falling back onto her bed, she closed her eyes and tried to think about the prince's features. She came up blank immediately. Although, she scrunched up her eyes harder, cleared her mind and tried to pick at every dream as hard as she could.

* * *

_"I don't want you." The prince muttered, walking backwards away from the princess. He chuckled nervously, running a hand through his short, blond hair._

_Confused, the now-awake princess sat up in her luxurious bed, tilting her head sideways. She clutched at her blue teardrop necklace, staring into its depths, and was reminded of the prince's eyes. The beautiful blue in his eyes couldn't be beaten by a necklace, though._

_"B-But I don't u-understand," She stuttered, not brave enough to look up at his haunting features, "W-Why did you c-come up here then? W-Why did you give m-me the true love's kiss? D-...Don't you understand that if I w-wake up, i-if the curses are taken off from me, then th-that means we're m-meant to be?" Betrayal. Hot and burning settled into the pit of her stomach, and she flinched, wrapping her arms around her skinny waist, as if that would help heal the pain. The pain was scorching through her, spreading from her heart to her toes, her head, all of her limbs._

_Once more the prince ran a hand through his hair, tawny hair getting mussed up even further. "I...Well, I just...like challenges. This was nothing but a challenge for me, m'lady." The princess knew what this meant. She knew what he actually meant to say, but he didn't want to upset her further._

You were nothing but a challenge to me.

Nothing but a challenge to me.

Nothing but a challenge.

_She closed her eyes, turning her head away from him, a few tears managing to explain. Sadness swept over her then, like a tidal wave. Sighing softly, she went to open her eyes, went to open her mouth to explain to him, to tell him that she was his. That, if he was so humble, that he would let him be hers, too._

_But when she opened her eyes, when she opened her mouth, the prince was no longer there. With eyes wide, she rushed to her open window that had no window pane nor glass - for the witch feared that she may try to take her own life - she saw the prince as he trekked away from the dragon slowly, then broke into a run, sprinting further and further away from the princess. Not once did he glance over his shoulder, not once did he cast a last glance at her, so she could see his face one more time, so she could at least try to remember his features for as long as she might live. He just left. Left her alone._

_The princess wished that she could have the courage to jump out of the tower, crash hard onto the earth, the soil of the ground. She wished that she would have enough courage to take her life like that, but heights scared her. Scared her deeply. So she slid away from the window that had no window pane nor glass, and sat down on her beautiful bed._

_Numbness went through her next, and she could feel nothing. Sighing, she lay gently down on the bed, tears falling once more. But there were more tears that followed, and soon, she couldn't stop crying, couldn't stop sobbing._

_Vaguely, she heard the dragon wake from how loud she was, but she didn't care about the dragon. How could she when her only love left her doomed in the tower, by herself? If he didn't want her, then who would? Who, other than the prince, would be brave enough to rescue her, a lone stranger, from the dragon? From this wretched tower? No one. No one would be that foolish, that brave._

_No one but him._

_Closing her eyes, wishing for sleep to wash over her, the princess wished that the prince had never come. Never filled her with hope. Never filled her with joy. Never filled her with love. Then, she could blissfully have slept until sweet death came upon her. She could've never had to sob her heart out, sob her lungs out._

_Only sleep._

_Sleep for the rest of her cursed life.

* * *

_

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

Josie opened her eyes sluggishly, rubbing them then, looking around her room slower than she had done before. But then she shot up as the fog of sleep left her, remembering the dream even more clearer. Remembering the prince's blue eyes. Remembering his short, blond hair. Though that was all she had seen of the prince, but she knew that she - the princess, whatever - had seen his face when she had woke up. Had seen his face when her eyelids opened her the first time since a long time.

In the back of her mind, she wondered why she cared so much. Why she wanted to see the prince's face so much - after all, it was just a stupid, crazy dream, maybe even a weird nightmare, but Josie wanted to know. No - she _needed _to know. The weird feeling of curiosity and the feeling of determination was inside of her. There was so much of it building inside that she felt she could almost spew it out, which sounded pretty nasty.

"Crap! It's time for school!" She muttered then, throwing away her covers and turning on the light so she could see better. Since she had taken her contacts out, she grabbed her glasses and placed them on her nose, then ran over to her small closet and took out her uniform from her other, darker clothes and ran into the washroom to freshen up.

After she had freshened up, she pushed her hair back into a lousy, messy pony-tail, took off her glasses, placing them back on her bedside table and grabbed her uniform, clad in only a towel. Grabbing her necessities, she opened the door to her dorm room and ran out towards the showers, red blush pilling into her cheeks as she looked around, hoping that no girl - or boy, since many came over to...spend the night - saw her like this. For Josie, it felt pretty degrading, though she didn't exactly know why. Well, she did have stage-fright, so maybe that was linked to this shyness. Maybe. Well, probably.

"Take a shower, pull on the uniform, put in my lenses, grab my bag, and then I'm ready to go." She murmured to herself, trying to take her mind off of her shyness and the weird dream that she had previously. She muttered that sequence over and over in her mind, said it aloud, but not too loud that people thought that she was raving lunatic until she made it to the showers.

The damn dream kept on running through her mind over and over, never stopping. Either it was the princess looking out towards the running prince or her agony as he told her that he wanted nothing to do with her. One way or the other, her mind was occupied. Every time a teacher asked her for an answer, she would almost blurt out the words the princess would use in the dream, but she always managed to stop herself in time and uttered something else, though her answer was always wrong, much to her dismay and the class' amusement.

There had been many times that her teachers Ms. Fox and Mr. Briggs would speak to her outside in private, asking if she was alright, if she had a fever, if she wasn't feeling all too well. They asked if she wanted to go to the nurse or stay in her dorm for a while, and even though she wanted to say the opposite, Josie always said that she was alright, that she was okay and didn't want to go to the nurse, didn't want to go stay in her dorm for a while.

"Alright then, class," Mr. Briggs announced, "Off to the library we go." _Finally!_ Josie got up from her seat and grabbed her books, walking carefully through the throng of students towards the front of the class and walked with them out the door. At least she wouldn't have to answer questions in front of the class and look like an idiot anymore. All she would have to do is be quiet and do all the work as Reid ignored her.

For the first time, she wasn't sad that he wasn't talking to her, wasn't looking her way. She liked it; she didn't want him to say anything, at least not today when all she could think about was that stupid dream of hers that wouldn't leave her mind.

She walked over to a table that was as far away from the rest of the students as possible, along with Mr. Briggs, and sat down, pulling out her folder that was marked "HISTORY ASSIGNMENTS/PROJECTS" and took out all the notes and pages that were inside, as well as a few books that she thought could be useful. Placing the pages that all said "History Project Ideas," she scanned them with her eyes, meanwhile multi-tasking by pulling her hair up into a neat pony-tail. Squaring her shoulders, she then grabbed a pink highlighter, searching through the ideas and crossing out ones that she didn't like at all.

As she felt Reid sit down next to her, her back got a little more stiffer, but she forced herself to relax, like his presence there didn't make her a little nervous. Well, very nervous. With a shaky hand, she crossed off another stupid History idea that would no doubt take a lot of time to finish and have too much information that would need to be gathered. Sure, she had to do all of the work, but that certainly didn't mean she was going to go too overboard with the research and information. Josie wanted to do a project that would give them a good grade but wouldn't be too hard to do. After all, the project would be a one man job, so she didn't want to take too many responsibilities that would be too difficult to endure.

Reid then cleared his throat, and although it was soft so that it didn't disturb others, it definitely disturbed Josie and shook her out of her project daze. She only spared him a glance out of the corner of her eye, and went back to her work. Why could he clear his throat a little more softer than it wouldn't disturb her too greatly? Josie had no idea.

Once again he cleared his throat, but this time it didn't scare her too much that she flinched like she had done before. That earned him another out-of-the-corner-of-her eye glance. What the heck was he doing? Clearing his throat twice? What, was he going to start singing or something? Rolling her eyes at her sarcastic and cranky thoughts, she tried her best to concentrate fiercely on the project at hand, crossing off another idea that was just too simple and would no doubt only land them a B-. And Josie certainly didn't do B-'s, for her parents would definitely be disappointed in her.

And she never wanted to disappoint them.

Ever.

That was when Reid cleared his throat again, and now fed up; she snapped her head towards him. He raised his eyebrows a bit in alarm, but he didn't flinch like she would've if their roles had been reversed.

"Yes?" She bit out, trying to keep the anger and irritation out of her voice. He smirked at that, no doubt knowing that he was pissing her off. _Great job, me, _Josie thought to herself then, _When he knows that something he's doing is pissing someone else off, he'll keep on doing it just for funzies. _After watching him like a hawk through middle school _(Yes, she knew him then) _to now, that was one feature to Reid Garwin that she had picked up _(Of course, in middle school, she didn't like him as much as she did now; only had a small crush on him - you know, the creeper crush that every middle-schooler had? Yeah - Reid was hers back then)_.

Looking innocent, he shrugged his shoulders, eyes wide as if he was startled by her annoyance and coldness. Out-of-character, Rosie rolled her eyes angrily at him before continuing to do her work, muscles now tense because she definitely knew that he was going to -

There! He did it again!

Inhaling from her nose, she exhaled from her mouth, trying to calm herself down and not turn and shout at him for clearing his throat once more, for people around them would think that she was a raving lunatic and thus she would be the one embarrassed once more, not Reid. It wasn't that she wanted him to get embarrassed, but more that she didn't want him to embarrass her time and time again. It was getting pretty annoying, like him and his stupid throat-clearing that _he would constantly do just to smite her_.

Gripping the highlighter so tightly that her knuckles turned white, Josie, in the back of her mind, wondered why the heck she was so angry. Usually she'd ignore him, or perhaps even ask him what he wanted - but getting angry at him for clearing his throat? Getting annoyed by his actions so much that she was thinking about violent things that she would like to do to him? That was definitely a first in her books. Seriously - was the frustration over the dream and who the prince was getting to her? Was she seriously that _pissed _about it that she was taking it out on anyone or anything?

She closed her eyes, and tried her best to take deep breaths. Soon, the anger and irritation and frustration and annoyance just left her, and with a soft sigh, she opened them once again. Calmly, she placed her highlighter down, then turned over to look at Reid, who was staring away from her, but had a smirk on his face.

"Yes, Reid?" Josie asked politely, trying to keep her face passive.

Reid turned towards her, mock innocence on his face. The anger returned instantly, and she felt like rolling her eyes at him, but refrained from doing so. "What are you talking about, Josie?" _Gosh. _The first time he said her name. Shivers swept over her, but it seemed like the blond Son of Ipswich didn't notice. Or did he, but decided not to do anything about it? Perhaps he knew how she felt _(Josie had a feeling that he knew)_ and was just laughing at her on the inside? The sad thing was, she had no idea. And for once, that irritated her to no extent.

_I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care..._She tried her best to run that over and over in her mind, but she knew the truth. She knew that she cared about that for once. _What was he doing to me? Seriously - is he using his powers or something to make me feel this angry? To make me feel so frustrated by not only him, but also about not being able to read his mind and know what he thinks of me?_ On one hand, she knew that it wasn't him who was doing that - who was making her feel that way. But, on the other hand...

"You were trying to get my attention, were you not?" Josie asked, still trying her best to keep her tone light. She decided to speak then to escape her thoughts, something that she hadn't done in quite some time.

_Gosh - today seems to be a day of firsts. First I get angered by Reid, then annoyed, then frustrated, then I'm angry when I don't know his opinion of me, and now I'm trying to run away from my thoughts that are centered around Reid and other matters. I don't think hanging around him is good for my health. I wonder how Kate and the rest of the Sons manage to do so. Maybe they won't mind giving me some pointers_, Josie thought to herself, not sure if she meant the last two sentences or not.

He shrugged at her. "I don't know. You tell me." His eyes sparked mischievously. Josie wondered why the heck he was even speaking with her. First he snaps at her yesterday in the library, then he helped get Kira off of her back but _still _doesn't say anything to her, now he's being all playful with her like the library incident had never happened? Just _what _was he thinking in that head of his? Once again, Josie was dying to know.

Shaking her head at him, she turned back towards her work, letting out a soft sigh as she did so as well. There was no reason to play whatever game he was playing with her; she had no time for him and his mind games. If he wanted to talk civilly with her then he could, but there was no way she was actually going to try and beat him at his games. Josie wasn't that type of person nor, like she had said before, did she have time for him. He'd just have to find someone else to do that with them. Sure, she might like him - well, _really, really _like him, but...there was no way she would do so. Plus, her grades were at stake; she needed to be doing something _productive _anyway, not _chatting it up _with Spenser's "bad boy."

Reid let out a chuckle, but she didn't' look over at him. "Okay, okay - I'm _sorry_. For the whole...well, _you know_...thing that happened in the library. But I gotta say, me helping you out with Kira and her attempt to rape you thing must've made things mutual with us. Don't you think so, too?" He asked her, tone still light, still playful. It was surprising to actually be aware of the fact that he had a bad temper on how the conversation was going between them if you hadn't met Reid Garwin before. Like, _really surprising_.

She ignored him and his attempt at humor, but did turn over to him. "You're forgiven." And then she went back to doing her work.

Now, it wasn't that she still had a grudge over the library incident. It _wasn't _- for real. It was just that - well, the other frustrations were piling up and up and Josie was afraid that if she kept on talking, kept on conversing then she'd blow up and start shouting at the top of the lungs in her first-ever temper tantrum. Plus, she already thought that she had gotten through a lot of firsts for the day already.

He groaned. "Oh, come on, Wesley! I said I was sorry, didn't I?" _Ugh. Why _was he on her case all of a sudden?

Once again she turned to face him, this time forcing a small smile on her face. "It's alright, R-Reid," Stupid stutters... "I just need to work on our assignment right now. I'm trying to find a suitable project idea for us to expand f-further on." She was surprised that she didn't "lose her marbles" right then.

Licking his lips - _no, Josie - _do not _look at _that, Josie thought to herself, blushing like a tomato - Reid nodded, then went to looking around the library, bored once more. Josie raised her eyebrows, still looking at him. It was weird, but she actually thought that he might ask to help her out with some of the assignment or even ask to look at the project ideas she had in mind and choose a couple of them.

Rolling her eyes at herself and her stupid thoughts, Josie went right back to her work, highlighting another project idea that she thought would be too complex to tackle down.

The rest of the library time went like that. Reid trying to find ways to not only cure his boredom but also make the librarian angry in the process while Josie tried to actually trying to get some work done on their behalf _(Not that she minded doing all the work; she sort of preferred it, now that she thought about it)_.

Now, if any of their History classmates were watching and listening in on the two teens and actually wanted to see some "action," then they would have to wait until the end of History class, which wasn't very far away. And why was that, you ask? _Well_...

* * *

"Alright, everyone! Pack it up!" Mr. Briggs said after a few minutes later, standing up from the chair he had been sitting on, watching the students work.

Josie looked up, then caped the yellow highlighter she had started to use, placing it in her pencil case. Grabbing all the papers and books that were spread out on the table in front of her, she brought them together in the right order - she had numbered the pages, the so-called nerd she was - and shoved them into the "ASSIGNMENTS/PROJECTS" folder. After she had gathered the rest of her things, she got up from her chair at almost the same time as Reid, then, with her leg and hip, managed to push in her chair. Reid, on the other hand, left his chair like it was, not bothering to push it in. Frowning, the brunette did it for him when he didn't notice.

Taking a breath, Josie walked ahead of him, leaving the library and walking towards her next class, a successful smile on her face, for she liked the progress of the project so far. She was down to two options, and was having trouble choosing which one to do the project on. Perhaps she would ask Reid's opinion next class...

"Hey - Wesley! Wait up!" Surprised, she stopped and turned to see Reid. He was walking his normal pace, lazy smile littered across his _(delicious_, Josie thought before trying her best to fight off a blush_)_ lips.

When he finally stopped in front of her, she asked, "Y-Yes, R-Reid? I-Is there s-something wr-wrong?" He gave her a confident smirk, which made her heart beat fast, no matter how much she tried to stop it from doing so. The stupid thing just wouldn't listen to her and kept on beating fast and hard against her ribcage.

He brushed a hand through his hair, and her eyes looked up to follow the swift movement. "I wondering if you wanted to come to a party that Snider was throwing. I mean, I don't like that bitch, but it's a party. I'll let you know when it is and everything," She furrowed her eyebrows; this was very out-of-character for Reid to ask, "And, after, we'd go to your dorm, and - well, you know." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, the confident smirk on his face growing even wider.

Yup. There it was. That was something _definitely _in-character of him - but why the heck was he asking her? Was he doing so just because she was a virgin or something? Well, it didn't matter to her at all. There was no way in hell that Josie was actually _agreeing _to that!

"I'm sorry, Reid, but I wouldn't like that very much. I don't go to parties and I'd like to keep my virginity intact, thank you very much." She said this firmly, not even stuttering for once, but there was a rosy blush still on her face that just wouldn't go away. Like Josie had thought before, she wasn't that type of girl.

His eyes hardened so much that Josie was momentarily scared of him - more scared of him that she had ever been in her life. She felt her body practically shake under his hard gaze. With a bitter, anger-filled smile, he nodded, then stiffly turned and walked away. Still, as he did so, Josie didn't regret her decision. She was not that type of her girl _at all_, but she hoped that their little truce that they had just made didn't break once more.

But she had a feeling, a nagging feeling that seemed to be in the back of her head, that knew that just had.

Though this time, their broken truce may stay the same - broken - for quite some time now that Josie had said no to him and his invitation.

* * *

**Silent Knight: Gah - Reid. Reid, Reid, Reid. You need to get one thing through your mind: not **all **girls want to jump in bed with you. I mean, I'd happily do so, but Josie? No freakin' way, buddy. Who's surprised that Josie actually managed to say no to him? *Shyly raises hand* I mean - sure, I wrote it, but it's her** character **that forced me to make her say no and not have her say yes and jump in the sack with him. After all, she's firm on the fact of not having sex with him just for the heck of it. She wants an actual relationship which, on this point, Reid isn't ready - and doesn't want - to have.**

**Also, the reason when Josie reflects on the dream and it isn't written like I had written it down in the last chapter was because I wrote the fairy tale version of it down for you all. Josie had dreamt what I had written out for you to read, along with the beginning I had explained, and even the part that takes about the prince - I'm sure you all know who he is *wink* - and his background. Make sense? Good.  
**

**Now, who supports Josie on her decision? Who doesn't? Who's shocked she managed to say no to Reid and his sexiness? xD lol Let me know with a** review**!**

**Until next time, lovelies. ;)**

**Silent Knight over and out!**


	7. With God as my witness

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

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**Silent Knight: Wow! This might be my fastest update **ever**!**** I just had updated this yesterday, and now I'm adding this chapter today. How awesome is that? Now, this might be smaller than some of the other chapters, but this is probably the most drama filled since - well, since Josie found out about the Sons and their powers. Of course, I'll bring the whole Power thing back to the story, but for now, enjoy this teen-y goodness.**

**Also, your feelings towards this chapter might be a love/hate one, considering the fact it has something bad in it, something even worse and then something awesomely good. :) So...yeah. Just sayin'.**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)**

**Enjoy!****  


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**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 7: With God as my witness**

Six days. It had been six days since the incident that had occurred with her and Reid. Yes, Josie had been counting the days, "freak" that she was.

Today was the last day before the project was due, but thankfully there wasn't much left to do. All there was left was the oral part of the project, where they were to make something that helped tie up their project. Thankfully, they weren't supposed to present it in front of their class, for Josie had a sinking feeling that they would've gotten a bad mark on that part if Mr. Briggs had made it that they had to stand in front of the class and present the project.

Things hadn't been going too well for Josie now. Reid was ignoring her, no girl liked her much now that she started to sit with the Sons and Kate every lunch and Kira down right _detested _her. Now that her little streak of boldness had vanished and the blond Son could care less about her, Josie was definitely rendered defenseless in the redhead's eyes, and so the merciless torture had begun. Sometimes other girls helped, sometimes they watched but they never, _ever _stopped laughing at her and her misfortune, but that never hurt Josie. What did hurt her, though, was Kira.

Sure, when Kate or the Sons _–_ minus Reid _–_ saw her, which was a pretty rare occasion since they never talked or did anything outside lunch, they'd help her, defend her against Kira. Though they weren't her shadows; they had to leave sooner or later to go to one class or another, and when they did, the torture began once more, but amplified.

When other girls realized what a weakling Josie was, they would sometimes inflict their own torture upon her, even if Kira was there to watch and laugh or not.

The pain never stopped. The embarrassment never ceased. When Josie let her guard down, they'd strike. When Josie had her guard up, they'd strike. When Josie minding her own business, they'd strike. When Josie was running off somewhere, they'd strike.

After a couple of days, Josie easily got used to it. She always got used to anything _–_ well, except for the fact that Reid was back to ignoring her. Before, when he hadn't, every class he'd notice her. Wink at her, smirk, maybe say something to blush. Sure, it had only lasted one day, but she had gotten used to that. After all, she only had one class that she didn't have with him, and that was her first one _–_ AP English. After that, all of her classes contained Reid.

But when Josie had turned him down, he went back to ignoring her. Though it was worse. Sometimes, he'd glare at her, or frown over at her, or even say something to make her day even worse. Whenever she got bullied by Kira or some other girl, he wouldn't even _glance _at their direction, but wouldn't laugh along with other students, either. Josie wondered which the lesser of those two evils was, but never got the answer.

And that was how Josie would sum up those six days. Torture. Pain. Sadness. Loneliness. Emptiness. The emptiness was what the worst, though.

It was like the numb feeling that she would feel time to time, though it was worse.

Much, much worse.

When she was numb, she knew that there was something there was that was to be felt, but she couldn't feel it. But with emptiness, Josie knew that there was _nothing _that was to be felt, and she couldn't feel anything. Nothing at all. Just...vast emptiness.

Never had she felt emptiness, so she was rather new to it. Still, she didn't enjoy it. Didn't like it. Wanted the feeling to leave her alone, though it never did. It worsened, but never left, much to Josie's dismay. Although, sometimes it was there, but didn't grip her insides as tightly as it did before. No, that didn't make it better, though it did make Josie a bit relieved. Just a bit, though the brunette would take what she got.

Anything that would worsen the pain even by a fraction was like a gift from God to her.

* * *

Josie felt prepared as she walked towards her next class of the day, Government. They were having a huge test in the class, one that was going to determine a portion of their grade for the grade they'd get for their report card. While it wasn't the majority of the grade, it was still quite a chunk, so Josie poured her heart and soul and blood, sweat and tears into studying for it. Read and wrote and remembered and noted; anything she could do to make sure she got a good mark on it.

Taking a deep breath, she walked into the class, ignoring all the snide remarks and laughter from some girls who had came in before her and took her seat, the place where she sat everyday. Ignored everyone else who came in by studying a bit more before the class started just to make sure that she would get almost all of the answers in the test right. Nothing must go wrong, for if it might, then she might not be able to go into Harvard, the university in which Josie just _had _to go to. She must.

When class finally started, Josie put all of her notes into her folder marked "GOVERNMENT" and after she had done so, her eyes involuntarily - as if they had their own mind - swept the row that Reid was to sit, and her stomach dropped when she noticed that he wasn't in his seat. He wasn't there. Had he forgotten about the test? Did he actually care so little about it, care so little about going to a successful university or college? Sighing, she just decided to ignore the fact he wasn't there, but she couldn't. She _couldn't _forget it, so she just decided to try and focus on the matter at hand; the test. The test she _had _to finish, to pass.

When the test was placed on her desk, Josie eagerly started, her eyes lighting up as she realized something. _I can do this, I can do this. It's so easy. I'll be able to finish and pass and go into Harvard. Yes, yes, yes! _She thought to herself, skimming the rest of the test before finally starting it.

Her hand eagerly wrote down the correct answer to many questions, pausing briefly at some before confidently scribbling down yet another answer. Her tense muscles relaxed, her posture less rigid, her eyes lighting up even more, smile gracing her features, hand scribbling away.

"Class," The teacher interrupted suddenly; Josie stopped her movements and thoughts and looked up, "Has anyone seen the test answers for this test? I believe I might have misplaced it." It was clear what the teacher _–_ Mrs. Simmons _–_ was saying; using her gravely voice in an angry tone. _Who took the test answers to cheat on the test? _That was what she wanted to say, for sure. There was a murmur that swept the classroom; a bunch of "no"s and people looking around as if the person who took them would stand up and say so while others just shook their heads and talked to their friends about the situation silently.

But then Kira put up her hand, eyes unusually wide with a smile threatening to leak out. Josie's eyebrows furrowed; for sure there was something weird going on.

Mrs. Simmons looked over at Kira, and then her eyes narrowed. "Yes, Ms. Snider?" She asked acidly.

Kira then put her hand down and opened her mouth to say, "Mrs. Simmons - I know where the test answers are. I heard Josie over here," The redhead turned to look at Josie, "Talk about stealing it so she could steal on the test. I-I thought she was just j-joking, y'know? But then you said you don't have the test answers _–_ a-and so I thought that...you know, she might've taken them for real after all." By the end of her small spiel, Josie's eyes were also unnaturally wide, but this time in horror and shock. Sure, Kira had hurt her before emotionally and physically, but this was certainly taking things up a notch. She couldn't believe her ears.

Why was Kira trying to ruin her chances of getting to Harvard? Josie knew she hated her, but actually _this much _to actually try and pull off something this great? She felt like crawling into a corner and dying, but she squared her shoulders and tried her best to fight against the tears that were building up in her eyes.

"Ms. Wesley," Came Mrs. Simmons' outraged voice, "Is this _true_? Would you actually steal the test answers for this little of a test?" It was obvious that Mrs. Simmons really didn't want to believe Kira, or she didn't believe her, but it was still her job to ask.

Josie shook her head from side to side. "N-No, Mrs. Simmons. I swear _–_ I didn't take the test answers! I-I wouldn't dream of it!"

Then Kira spoke up. "I also heard her talking about putting it in one of her folders so she could peak in it and see the answers from time to time too, Mrs. Simmons. Check her folders _–_ maybe you'll find the test answers in there!" She then smirked in her direction, and the girls in the class caught on with what Kira was doing and snickered softly behind their hands. Some boys were getting red in the face from laughing as well. Josie felt her shoulders droop when she realized she had been set up by Kira, that she probably had taken the test answers and shoved them in one of her folders. The feeling of crawling into a corner and dying started to creep up again.

Mrs. Simmons, putting on stoic face, then marched over towards Josie's row, then came up towards where she was sitting, and began checking her folders. Josie looked down at her wrinkled hands and the folders, not wanting to look at the faces of her peers, not wanting to look at Kira. Tears were threatening to fall once more, and this time Josie felt weak; she didn't want to stop them, but did so anyway.

Finally, after a few heart-stopping minutes, the test scores were found in her "MATH" folder, and Mrs. Simmons shook her head at Josie. "Ms. Wesley - you were one of my brightest students. What would make you do something as degrading as this?" But she said nothing, only sat in her seat, looking down at her folders. Wanted to cry hard. Wanted to die before her parents found out about what had happened and told her how disappointed they were. Wanted to vanish before Harvard saw her permanent record and didn't want her in their university.

"I have no choice but to send you to the office, Ms. Wesley. This will most definitely be going on your permanent record." And so Josie got up from her chair and marched her way down the steps, tripping slightly on Kira's leg but numbly managing to still be able to stand her ground. She then got out of the classroom, and as soon as she was out, the tears finally fell. One by one, but then quicker, and soon it was like they were pouring out of her eyes like rain drops do from the sky. Her shoulders shook, her frame trembling, as she felt like sobbing, but she would be too loud. Sniffing, she put her hands in her uniform jacket pockets and started walking towards the direction of the office.

Though, then, she bumped into someone. Before she could fall onto the floor, she grabbed onto the lapels of their uniform jacket, and then peered up at their face, tears still falling.

It was Reid who she had bumped into.

He stared down at her, confused, his hands having settled onto her elbows to help steady her before, when she had almost fallen. And then, before Josie could realize what she was doing, she buried her head in his chest and sobbed softly. Josie felt him tense up, but didn't pull away from him. Surprisingly, he didn't pull away from her either. Instead, she relaxed a bit, put his hands around her waist, pulled her _closer_.

Then he was backing up, leaning on the wall with her still in his arms, patting her head as if he had no idea what to do with her, which, in her opinion, was probably the case.

"You alright?" He whispered into her ear, and she shivered before trying to bury her head even deeper into him, as if their close contact wasn't close enough for her. She shook her head, unable to say anything. "What happened?"

And then, with a shaky voice, she told him everything about what had happened, crying harder here and there, and he was tensing up further and further, until he was as stiff as a board, but she didn't mind. It didn't feel comfortable, of course, but it was still..._comfortable_ to be in his arms, to feel his hands around her waist, to snuggle up against him, to breathe his pine scent mixed with cologne and his own, personal musk. It was...refreshing, to feel so close to someone before. It made her remember her dog that her parents had gotten for her so she wouldn't be lonely, it made her remember her grandma who she would stay with because her parents were almost always never there. Not that she thought of Reid as a dog or her grandma, but this close contact uncovered great memories.

After a few moments, Josie found her tears stopping, the small sobs leaving, and then she realized she was hugging _Reid Garwin _of all people, finding solace in him when the last time they had talked, he had asked her out and she had turned him down and he had been angry at her. He probably wanted nothing to do with her, so she started to pull away, but he didn't let her. His arms wrapped tightly around her, more tightly than before, but then it seemed that he realized what he was doing, and let her go.

Josie, her legs feeling like jelly after the crying session, staggered back, almost falling down but then Reid grabbed her from around the elbows. She was once again brought closer towards him, but his face was now right in front of her own, and she was staring into those beautiful eyes of his. And, suddenly, her eye-lids felt heavy, and she found herself closing them, and then felt something against her lips, felt _Reid's lips _against her lips, and she was pushing back against his. Her arms were wrapping themselves around his shoulders, pulling herself closer to him, drowning herself in his kiss. But he didn't even try to push into her mouth, and she found herself not caring, because this felt _nice __–_ it felt _good_.

It was surprising, but Josie had her first kiss before, and her second and her third. This kiss was her fourth - though it was also the most pleasurable, the most amazing kiss.

Finally, they both pulled away, and once again Josie had to stare into his eyes. She was leaning in when he suddenly let go of her, his soft face hardened, and he looked away before walking towards Mrs. Simmons' class, where Josie had just come out of. She realized that she had to go to the office, and so, wiping away any tear tracks that were still there, she squared her shoulders and started walking in a brisk pace.

She found her mind always returning to Reid, to the kiss they had shared. Her feelings were now all mixed up and tangled; she felt frustration towards Reid, annoyance, happiness, sadness...the emotions were endless. And then she wondered _– __do I like Reid Garwin anymore? Do I still have a crush on him? Do I still want to be with him? _Josie had no idea, though at this point of time, she didn't want to delve further into her mind to find out if she did like him or not.

Right now, she just wanted to go to the office and find out what they would do to her, if they would actually put what Kira had unjustly done to her in her permanent record. She had a feeling that they would, but hoped to God that they wouldn't. Though she was wondering if God had anything to do with this at all; if God even cared. Because, if he did, then he sure had a weird way of showing it.

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**Silent Knight: And there you have it, folks! Poor Josie, huh? But at least she **finally **got a kiss from Reid. Though Reid's so evil, leaving her alone suddenly like that. Hm, I wonder what might be going on in his mind...don't you?**

**Let me know what you thought about this chapter and whatnot with a review. =D**

**Love ya all, lovelies.**

**Silent Knight over and out!**


	8. I hate this, I hate this

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

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**Silent Knight: Okay - this chapter was more angsty than I thought I would make it. I thought Josie would grieve over Reid and the kiss and how he left her but...well, one thing led to another, and I pulled out another freakin' cliche. Part of me wants to slap myself silly, but, well, the other part is pretty damn proud of this chapter. It's mixed feelings for me again, so, once again, let me know how you feel about it?**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)

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**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 8: I hate this, I hate this**

"I'm disappointed in you, Ms. Wesley," The Provost said, folding his arms on his desk, "One of our most brightest students, right up there with Mr. Danvers...but," He sighed, "I just...can't believe you'd do something like this. It's shocking, really. Now, I have to put this on your permanent record and suspend you for a few weeks."

Josie's shoulders sank, along with her heart. "I understand, Provost Higgins." She replied tearfully, her head bowed so all she could see were her shoes. She didn't even try to fight it, not wanting to make the sentence even worse as it was, if there was such thing.

"Fortunately for you, I won't do that," Josie looked up in shock, "Shocked, yes? But like I said, you're one of our most brightest students, right up there with Mr. Danvers. _Mr. Danvers! _So there should be no reason at all that you would cheat on such a small, meager test such as the one you had for...Government, correct?" She nodded, and so he nodded back, "And I don't believe you would actually even _think _of pulling off something like this, especially since those test answers weren't even the real ones. If you had peeked in them, you'd see that there is no such answers for the test in there. We had a duplicate test answer sheet _–_ well, at least, Mrs. Simmons had. She found the real sheet later, after you were long gone. Which is yet another reason you're "off the hook." But, still, I need to let you off with a warning: don't ever try anything like this. Understood?"

Relief poured through her when she found out about the duplicate. Tears still fell, but those were tears of joy, of shock, of surprise...of happiness. Sniffing, she nodded, and then clutched her head lightly when her head started to dully throb.

Provost Higgins furrowed his eyebrows, and they made a "V," almost as if he was angry. "Ms. Wesley - are you alright?"

"I-...my head just hurts, is all. Probably from all the stress of this, I guess," Clutching her head with one hand, she peered at his face, licking her dry lips, "I think I just might go ahead and rest in my dorm room for a bit. I don't _–_ I don't really feel all too well. If, uhm...that's alright with you?" Josie answered the question truthfully. She really did not feel well, like she just might throw up from the weirdness of the whole day, of all the drama that was on-going in her life currently. He frowned for a couple of seconds, but then nodded.

"Yes, stay there for as long as you'd like. We wouldn't want you to get too sick."

Josie then stumbled out of the office, and it was if she was having an out-of-body experience or something, because she didn't even realize that she was walking towards the stairs that would take her to the girls' dorm rooms _–_ it was as if she was staring down at herself, watching what she was doing while thinking about one thing or another as she did so. Then her mind jumped back to her time with Reid before she had left for Provost Higgins' office; thought about his lips on hers, pushing against hers so softly that she wanted to actually cry by the sheer gentleness Reid was showing.

It was like she was there, her arms around his shoulders, fingers lightly tracing the small hairs on the back of his neck as they kissed passionately like in those chick flick movies that Josie loved to watch as much in the middle of the night some times on Saturday for no apparent reason, only because she wanted to remind herself that there were stories where there was _the _guy who was to be yours and no one elses.

She wanted to remind herself that there was someone who, in time, would care about her because they didn't _have to_, not because _it was their job_, but because they loved her, because they _wanted _to care about her. That kind of love, that kind of tenderness was a bit surreal to her. After all, it was only her grandma who loved her a lot. She didn't say so because her grandma was a quirky one, an awesome one who didn't have to say that she loved her, her eyes said it all, but Josie wanted to hear someone say it lovingly to her, like her mother sometimes would in the middle of the night. But her mother would say it dully, like it was supposed to be something a mother needed to say to her daughter, not because she wanted her to know it, not because she wanted to say it.

And, yeah, perhaps there was no such love like that, but girls like to dream about that kind of love. Well, some did, and Josie was part of that some.

And, maybe one day, she'd be part of the some who had that someone who loved them just as much they loved them, who said "I love you" to them because they wanted to, not had to. Maybe one day she would be part of that some _–_ but for now, all she could do was dream about it.

The funny thing about that was that was what she did.

She dreamt about it all the time.

Suddenly, she bumped into yet another person for the second time today. Although, this time, she managed to catch herself by not grabbing the person who bumped into her, but managed to righten herself by herself. Her feet firmly planted onto the floor, she pushed her hair away from her face by her clammy hands into the deep, dark eyes of the one who bumped into her.

Caleb.

Josie had bumped into none other than Caleb Danvers, one of the Sons Of Ipswich.

What? Was this something that would always be happening to her now? Was she going to continuously bump into the Sons for the rest of her freakin' life? Oh well. If she didn't get kissed, or try to kiss, Caleb like with Reid, then bumping into him was all-fucking-right when her. Whatever. She didn't give a damn about anyone.

Right now, all she wanted to give a damn about was herself.

Everyone else be damned. Josie Wesley was going to care about herself for a change, and, no, she didn't care how selfish that sounded. She didn't care one bit because what did caring for others get her? A bit steamy pile of A's and "Good job, honey" and "We're proud of you" and false smiles and false love. There was no need to have any of those anymore. She could less about those _–_ she had enough A's and "Good job, honey"s and "We're proud of you"s and false smiles and false love for an eternity.

"Are you all right, Josie?" Came his throaty voice. He could definitely be an actor in a porno movie or be a part of a Harlequin book come-to-life for sure. No doubt he noticed her far-away expression and the tears that were dripping down her cheeks and no doubt making her looked all flush. She must look like a monster from a horror movie, but right then and there she could care less _–_ big shocker there, though. She didn't care for anyone but herself right now, so why care about how she looked, a creepy monster-girl or not?

Sighing, she nodded slowly. "Yeah, Caleb. I'm fine. Thanks for asking." Her voice sounded dull. Life-less.

If she were Caleb, she'd cringe and run away from her because she sounded so much like...like...a zombie. Like...like her mother when she'd stumble in the house, drunk off her ass with dad in tow. But when her dad was drunk, he was almost creepier than her mom. He was a scary person to be around when he was a drunk; actually, scary didn't even _freakin'_ cover it, really. Along with her mother; she was down-right frightening to be around when she had too much alcohol.

Of course, they'd never hurt her, not even when they were drunk _–_ not physically, anyway. But the comments they'd make...she could remember ever single one of them, even now. Could recite them out loud if someone asked her to.

Caleb furrowed his eyebrows, much like how Higgins had done, not quite believing her. He was too smart for his good, too suspicious for his good, but most of the time, when he was suspicious of someone, it was right, his hunch. Whatever it was in him that told him to be suspicious was right to tell him that, 'cause most of the stuff that comes out of people's mouth is a complete and utter _lie_. And no, they don't lie because they have to lie, but because they _need to, in some sick and freakin' twisted way_. Josie knew that because that was how she felt right then. She could've just told him that no, she wasn't all right, and Caleb would ask why. Then she could tell him about Kira and what happened, because it had _oh-so-easily _tumbled out of her mouth in front of Reid, but she didn't. Had to tell him a lie, _needed _to tell him a lie. Why? Just because.

Heh. Such crap.

But then, Josie snapped out of the funk she had been in, and then realized she was sitting down on her butt, back against the wall, Caleb crouched in front of her. His eyebrows were furrowed even deeper if possible, hands on her shoulders. His mouth was moving, but it was like she couldn't hear a word he was saying. Black spots were everywhere, some even on Caleb's concerned face.

Immediately she stood up, and he followed.

"You feeling all right, Josie? You just started to stagger and fell back against the fall. I'm worried about you. How're you feeling?"

_I'm not feeling fine. I'm so terrible, Caleb. So terrible. Life is going so bad for me and it's like I'm falling into a pit of nothingness. I wish someone would love me, I wish _Reid _would love me. Does that make me a freak, or __–__ or some kind of weird-o who's after Reid like so many other girls before and even after me? Do you think so?_

"I've got a headache, is all. Provost Higgins said I could go to my dorm room, which is what I was gonna do when I bumped into you." Ah, half-truths. But they were still lies - half-lies. Half-truths and half-lies. Lies, lies, lies. That was all the world was made up of these few years. It was disgusting. Josie loathed everyone who lied. Loathed herself, too. Loathed Reid for not telling anyone about his powers. Loathed Caleb, loathed Pogue, loathed Baby Boy Tyler, loathed Kate.

Loathed Kira and Mrs. Simmons and Provost Higgins and mom and dad and most importantly herself.

She was the biggest liars of them all, even though the Sons and Kate were hiding a big secret about the supernatural. Didn't matter about that, though. She was horrible, disgusting...oh how she hated herself right at that moment. Why? Why? Why?

"I-...I need to go to my dorm room now, Caleb. It's nice to see you again." See? See what she did there? She lied again. She was such a filthy whore. Her mother was right. A whore...she was a filthy, lying whore. Disgusting _–_ an abomination. She deserved to sit in a corner and rot away to nothing.

As she fast-walked away from Caleb, more tears fell. Fell like crazy down her cheeks. Slid down her long neck and stained her uniform's collar. Josie felt like sobbing, throwing her body like a rag doll into a corner and hugging her knees to her chest like a frightened little girl like she did when she had been young and her parents fought over what she should become when she grew up, drunk on alcohol and drugs and whatnot. Not caring that she was right there, in front of them; watching, listening, crying, screaming, begging them to _stop __–__ please, just stop it!_

Every bad thought, every bad dream _–_ it all exploded from that box she had locked and chained tight in her brain. She had lied and smiled and kept quiet, dwelling on how _happy her life was, how awesome and cool and quaint and a bit imperfect, but perfect enough for her!_ But that wasn't the case _–_ it wasn't the case at all.

Life for her was horrible. Had been, still was, would be.

And that...was that.

* * *

_Dring! Dring! Dring!_

Josie snapped open her eyes, squinted as the light from the blinds was cast right over her eyes. It was still morning, it seemed. So it wasn't night. She probably had been sleeping for an hour or two, like she does sometimes. Thankfully no dream had plagued her, because dreams would only worsen her day.

Groping blindly for her cell phone, she finally felt the cool plastic in her fingers and clutched it tightly. Pressing the green telephone button that accepted the call, she pressed it to her ear and whispered softly into it one word: "Hello?" A sigh came from the other end, which then was followed my static. Squinting her eyes some more, Josie sat up in bed, phone clutched in a death-grip to her ear, the fog of sleep drifting inch by inch.

"Hello? Josie? _Ugh __–__ finally! _I've been calling for a couple of minutes and nothing. Man, lunch is almost over and if any teacher finds me on the phone _–_ I'm in _trouble_, girl." It was Kate. Well, surprises never ceased, it seemed.

Josie furrowed her eyebrows, the last of the fog slipping away until she was wide awake in bed. "What the _–_? How'd you get my number?"

"Oh, it was Pou-...I mean...I have my ways." Came the response then. But she knew what the real, _truthful _answer was: _Pogue used his "magic powers" to find out what your phone number was, of course! Nothing too big for him, really. It was like swatting a fly. _For some reason, she could even hear Kate actually uttering that aloud to her. Not that she ever would, but, still, she heard it as if Kate had actually said so.

Sighing, she replied quick: "Yeah. Alright. What's up?"

"There's a party happening on Friday. Two days from now," No shit, Sherlock, "I was wondering if you wanted to come."

_No. Now get lost and leave me alone to wallow in self-pity._ No...she couldn't say that to Kate. She was being a nice friend, but it was shocking since they never talked outside of lunch unless some girl was terrorizing her and Kate managed to see her and ran immediately to help her out, but only when she saw someone. If she didn't see someone bullying her, then it was like Josie wasn't even there in her opinion, not that she minded much. She didn't. It was nice to know she had a friend who noticed her at lunch, along with four others. It was...refreshing. Nice.

"...Josie? You there?"

"Huh? Y-Yeah...yeah. I am here. Uh...uhm, I'd love to come, actually."

There was a small silence, and she could hear Kate arguing with Reid, it seemed. No doubt Reid didn't want her to come, considering the fact that that blond Son is known to never miss an "awesome party with enough beer." Yes, Josie heard all the stuff about Reid and the rest of the Sons _–_ gossip was the it-thing in Spenser; even jocks and boys gossiped, whether they liked to admit it or not.

Then Kate was back on, talking to her and not someone else. "Great! We'll pick you up at around eight or maybe even nine. That alright with you?"

"Yeah. That's fine with me. Bye."

"Bye! Hope you feel better!" Ah, so that was why she called. Because Caleb no doubt told everyone about her supposed break-down and Kate wanted to check up and see if she wasn't dead. The bitter thought then vanished when she shook her head, frowning to herself.

_What is with me lately? What's going on? Why can't these thoughts leave me alone? Why couldn't they just stay locked up like they previously had been before?_

The old, bitter Josie _–_ well, at least, the old, bitter voice in her head_ –_ was now there to stay.

And perhaps to never leave, or be locked up, again.

She wasn't sure whether she should cry like a baby about it or try to make another damn box to keep all those sad, angst-filled memories in or curse her head off, because, at the moment, she felt like doing each and every one of those things.

Instead, she let herself flop down in her bed, staring up at her ceiling in front of her in silence for a few seconds. Then the phone call finally planted itself into her mind, and she realized what she had actually agreed to; it finally settled in her brain fully, and she picked and prodded at it for a while before she groaned aloud. "What have I gotten myself into?" Josie muttered to herself.

Silence was the only answer she got.

And so she had no other choice but to accept that answer.

* * *

**Silent Knight: What did I say? ANGSTY! Gah I hate myself sometimes, but, anyway, let me know what you think about Josie now and anything else you might want to tell me. If you think this was crap like part of me does, let me know. If you like this like the other part does, let me know. If you have mixed feelings like I do, let me know. You get the pattern? ;)**

**Love you all very much. Thanks so much for the many reviews - it means a lot to me.**

**Silent Knight over and out!**


	9. You're not the one I believe in

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

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_

**Silent Knight: Okay, so, not that much drama/romance stuff in here, but trust me - the next one is gonna be **filled **with drama and romance - so much that you'll be choking on it! Okay...well, not choking, but you get what I mean, right? ;)**

**So, until, then, you'll have to live with this. Some Josie/Kate friendship, not much Reid in it, I know, but you'll be seeing a lot of him next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)

* * *

**

**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 9: You're not the one I believe in**

Two days had passed since Kira had framed her for stealing the Government test answers; two days had passed since Reid had kissed her; two days had passed since her locked and chained box full with bitter memories and the other side of Josie had broken and opened so easily. Two days since the drama had ended abruptly, only for another, scarier drama to start.

Girls still terrorized Josie, but Kate and the Sons were around more – of course, Reid never was around her by himself, so he never said anything to the girls, only watched as the others told them to leave Josie alone. Although, when they weren't there, which wasn't rare but at the same time they weren't always there, either. Although, you could say things were going fine for her now. Sure, it wasn't like her life back before she had fallen into the whole Sons-power and Reid-History-project business – _when there was no fear, no anger, sadness there was but not _agony_, and the box had been sitting there minding its own business all the time _– but at least things were quietening down a bit, well, as quiet as it could be.

But Josie now had to think – and worry – about something else right then.

What to wear for the party.

Yes, it was Friday, the day the party was being held. She had no idea where, but at least it sure beat sitting around and angsty about her daddy and mommy issues. It sure beat thinking about the past and how much it hurt to know that her parents thought she was trash – they never said it sober, but they sure as hell said it when they had about six tequilas in their system and they always slurred it out slowly and painfully to her, walking into the house and seeing her sitting in the living room, waiting for them to come so she could help them get cleaned up and be ready for bed.

Of course, they'd forget about it in the morning, asking the same question – _"Did I...did we...say anything...to you when we were...not ourselves?" _(As if she was a fucking two year old and didn't know they were drunk off their asses!) – and telling her the same thing – _"Well, you know we didn't mean that _(insert-whatever-fucking-lie-Josie-uttered-to-them-here)_ because you know we love you _(Fucking lies! All of it!) _very much and would never say that to you if we had been...ourselves."_ – over and over again until Josie almost forgot what the freakin' truth was and what the lie was.

All the lies, the hatred, the alcohol...that turned Josie into something. Not some_one_, but some_thing_. A bitter shell, Josie liked to think.

Something that didn't care for anyone but herself and hated everyone – including herself – who lied. Something who was always thinking something violent to do to herself or her parents or someone. Something who wanted to leave her parents to wallow in their alcohol and could care less if they were drunk off their asses and leave them to rot on the pristine floor of their kitchen, puking their guts out_ (Well, that _pristine floor _of the kitchen wouldn't be so _pristine _if that happened, now would it?)_.

She had sworn to herself when she locked that part of her into that stupid box in her mind along with those haunting memories and lies and hatred and alcohol, that she would never think of any of those things again. That, if that happened, then that box would be broken – the bitter half of her, the memories, the lies, the hatred, the alcohol...all of that would come pouring out faster than she could say "Reid Garwin."

When those slithers of memories had poked up without her even realizing...all of that had burst out so quickly, so silently that Josie was left speechless. And then the bitter side of her ruled her thought so easily. So easily that she was so ashamed of herself. It had taken so much hard work to freakin' banish those things, and so quickly - _so fuckin' quickly _they managed to escape? Just because of something _mean, something oh-so-un-fair, boo-hoo Josie and her tears and her sadness, someone _–_ please _–_ pity the fuck out of her! _the box had broken, had shattered without her even _noticing_?

It was disgusting. She was disgusted.

She was disgusted not with her family, not with the Sons, not with Kate, not with Kira, not with Mrs. Simmons, not with those jealous, _slutty and anorexic _girls – but with herself. Josie was disgusted by herself.

The box breaking was her fault. She left herself soften up so much that it was so quick that the box and memories and lies and alcohol and her worse half snuck up on her.

And now everything was –

_Rap! Rap! Rap!_

Somebody was knocking on her door.

Josie snapped her head up from where it currently had been, buried in her hands, to look over at it. Tears fell down her face fast. Hurriedly, she wiped her face clean, sniffing here and there, and stood up, her legs feeling like jelly and she staggered here and there before regaining her balance right when she was a hundred percent sure she was going to fall down on her ass and probably start crying and curl up into a ball. Pulling her hair into a pony tail, she began to fast-walk towards the door.

"Josie? Are you awake?" Then, "Oh God, don't tell me the girl is sleeping..._Josie! Hello? You there!_ Shit...I shouldn't talk so loud...um," Then there was a whisper, "Josie? Jooosie?" _Oh for crying out loud Kate! Shut the fuck up!_

"Yeah. I'm awake, Kate. One second. I'll open the door for you."

Gripped the doorknob. Opened the door. It opened with a slight creak. There stood Kate, looking a bit embarrassed.

"So, uh, you heard all that, then? You know – since you were awake an' all?" _I'm sure the whole freakin' floor heard you, princess._

"Yeah. I did. Sorry for not opening earlier."

"It's alright. Anyway, onto business. Are you ready for the party yet?" _'Course I am. I'm gonna be going in my fuckin' PJs _–_ I hear it's very in these days._

"Uh...no. Not yet. It's just...I've never been at a party before," _And who's fault is that? Yours!_ "I don't exactly know what to wear."

"Well – don't worry. I am here to help!" _Oh thank God, Ms. Princess is here to help squeeze me into hooker clothes. I'm saved! Heh _–_ not only is she an idiot, she's a hooker-dresser, too._

Josie smiled thankfully at her. "Thanks so much, Kate. But I have to warn you – I don't have party-positive clothes."

Kate walked – _no, not walked, but fucking _strutted – towards her closet. Opened it up. Looked at the clothes for a while before turning towards Josie solemnly. Then, she smiled at her. A warm smile, one that made Josie smile back at her, but also feel bad about the sarcastic bites that had been going through her head for quite some time _(Oh how she wished they could cease)_.

"These are perfectly fine, Josie. Sure, you won't look like other girls at the party, but you'll still look nice." The sarcastic, biting voice said nothing at that, and the brunette teen found herself smiling widely at her new best friend.

* * *

After a while of going through clothes and trying on clothes and pulling off clothes, Kate finally accepted the clothes Josie had now just recently worn. Of course, like Kate had said, they weren't exactly the party clothes other teen girls would be wearing at the party and were leaning more towards what, no doubt, the boys would be wearing, it still had a feminine touch to it. Kate, thinking that it was still too boyish, even let Josie wear the black pumps she had been wearing. Since Josie went to a lot of social gatherings with her parents which had forced her to dress classy, she was able to walk – sort of – fine in the five-inch women-killers, but the soles of her feet started to dully throb after some time.

With a blush, Josie yanked down her thin dark green tank-top that she was wearing. "Uh...can't I wear a jacket or something over this? Please?"

Kate laughed lightly before nodding and diving into her closet before handing her a nice, non-loose jacket. It was a deep brown that passed for black and wasn't too form fitting but didn't seem to droop off of her frame, either, much to her dismay, though she was happy Kate didn't touch the tight white number that her mother had gifted her for her fourteenth birthday – for if she had to wear that jacket, she was sure she would die of embarrassment.

"By the way – you _have _to let me borrow these," The mocha-skinned teen yanked at the hip-hugging jeans that Josie was wearing lightly, her jealous brown eyes jacking them, "They are _gorgeous _and definitely show your ass awesomely. Seem pretty damn comfortable, too." And comfortable they were.

Josie nodded at her, then pushed a strand that shook loose from the tight pony tail Kate had made for her behind her ear. "'Course. Now – shouldn't we get going?" It was Kate then who nodded, but then looked down at her feet, wiggling her toes.

"Uh...what about my lack of shoes?" She asked. Josie bit down gently at the soft flesh of her pinky finger – a habit that hadn't worn off when it had started six years ago – and moved with purpose towards her closet, rooting through her shoes before she found a pair of black Converse that would compliment Kate's white lacy top and jean skirt nicely. She then thrust them in her direction, handing her some clean socks as well. Kate looked at the socks in disgust, and only put them on when Josie firmly told her that they were clean before slipping and tying on the Converse.

And then the two teenage girls were ready to go to the party.

"Hey, Josie," Kate said suddenly, and Josie turned around to see her still lounging on her bed, "I was wondering...how do you feel about Reid?" _Danger! Danger! Lie! Lie! Lie! _Thought the warning bells in her head, and so, out of nervousness she did the exact thing that she hated to do, that she never wanted to do but had to all the time. Josie lied.

Shrugging, she leaned against her door, part of her wanting to rip open the door and run away from the mocha-skinned teen in front of her. "He's okay, I guess. Doesn't talk much, but maybe that's because it's kind of weird around me since I'm not exactly that into your guys' group an' all." Yup. That was a lie, alright. Reid didn't talk much around her, but it wasn't because she wasn't part of their little clique – though, it was true that she wasn't – it was because she kept on turning him down and because he felt he made a mistake, kissing her in the hallways just like that. He probably pulled away and left because he felt sickened to even be in her presence.

Kate ran a hand through her straight locks. "Oh Josie, don't worry: you are definitely in our "group" now. Promise," She smiled brightly at her, and that smile warmed her to the core, "You might be a little quiet, but on the other hand, Tyler is just like you." Oh crap. Tyler was just like her: quiet and shy. Josie had a feeling she knew where this conversation was heading to.

Since gossip went around, it was rumored that Kate was quite the match-maker and didn't believe in the whole "opposites attract" crap. She said that it didn't work much, though some people were "special cases," or, at least, that was what rumor had it as. She was more in the direction of "similars attract," so no doubt she was going to try and set her up with Tyler. Now, Tyler was nice and all, but Josie didn't like Tyler like _that_. Sure, he was cute and sweet and quiet and polite and respected her, but...Josie just didn't...feel that connection, that pull that she always felt with...well, with Reid.

But, of course, there was no way she could say that to Kate, for then she would try and push Reid and her together and if Reid found out, he would turn her into sliced salami. Josie tried to look casual, but she could feel her scalp starting to sweat a little and cursed the fact that the air conditioning wasn't working too well in the girls' dorms.

"So...Josie..." Great; here it comes, "...what do you like in a guy?" _Oh, trying to find a suave way to bring the whole Tyler-is-perfect-for-you bomb in, huh? Goodness gracious _–_ just tell her you're lusting after Reid's body and be done with it! _Her inner voice shouted so loudly in her head that Josie almost winced, but managed to catch herself from doing so right on time.

Wiping her calmly palms on her jeans, she then pushed them into her jacket pockets, shuffling awkwardly against the door. "Well, uh...I don't know, really," _Liar_, "I haven't thought much about it." _Liar, liar, pants on fire..._

Kate nodded like she was a therapist or Dr. Phil or something. Josie almost expected her to say, "And how does that make you _feel_?" Running a hand through her straight hair once more, the teen scratched at her leg, right under her knee before crossing it over the other leg, and Josie wished that she could look as beautiful, as sexy or even as erotic as Kate looked right then. But she knew she'd never look that good; plus, if she did, there would be no way that her personality would aid those good looks. Kate's personality seemed to match her looks perfectly, though.

"I was just thinking, I'm pretty sure I have the perfect guy for you..." Here it comes, here comes the huge bomb, "...and even though you might not see it, I gotta say...Reid is _perfect _for you." _Wait - what? _Josie thought to herself, in shock. Her inner voice was speechless as well, and the brunette teen wasn't sure whether or not it was a good thing.

The mocha-skinned girl thought that Josie's look was more of a "wtf?" look rather than "omg, how did you know?" look, like it was supposed to be, continued on with her theory, "Look, I'm not much of an "opposites attract" sorta girl, but there are special cases – take you and Reid, for instance. You two are polar opposites, but fit together _so well_. And when Reid stood up for you in front of Kira – not that you were doing a bad job of defending yourself; props to you for that, girl! - that was just..._awh_! It was so heartwarming and so unlike Reid! I'm telling you, you practically turned him into a knight in shining armour like, like...like someone from a fairy tale!" _Fairy tale...Reid...prince...princess...tower...dragon..._Josie squeezed her eyes shut.

Kate didn't seem to have noticed her expression, for she continued to talk to her excitedly, "I'm telling you – the two of you are _perfect_! Sure, Tyler and you are the same an' all, but you and Reid are definitely meant to be. I'm thinking all the other girls noticed that too, which was why they pick on you so much," Kate then frowned at that, but then brightened up once more, "But never mind that, hun! We _have _to find a way to get Reid and you together –"

Josie quickly cut Kate off before she could start scheming, "Uhh, that's quite alright, Kate. Please, don't try and plot our little "union." Anyway - _he doesn't like me in that way_. Do you see his face all the time when I'm near? It looks like he wants to hurl himself off of a bridge and swim all the way to Africa to get away from me or something." She explained, then shook her head at her, trying her bets to convince her not to try and scheme.

The mocha-skinned teen smirked at her. "Well...you said _he _wasn't interested...but you didn't say _you_ weren't." Josie could see the wheels spinning 'round and 'round in her head, which made her panic. She started stutter incoherently like an idiot, continuously running a hand through her hair, which made Kate smirk even more. She pointed at her, exclaiming that she had a crush on him, which made her blush so hard she was sure she looked beet red. Sighing in defeat, she walked towards the other bed in the dorm room and planted herself down, putting her head in her hands. _And now my secret is out_, She thought in despair.

"Okay, okay, fine. I-...I like Reid - but that in _no way _means that _he _likes _me_, alright?" Josie said to her, her voice sounding muffled since her hands were over her mouth as well.

Kate let out a groan, the there was a squeak of the mattress, no doubt meaning she was now lying down on it. "Josie, honey – really? You think he doesn't like you? God, you must be the most idiotic smart girl in the whole freakin' _world_!" She exclaimed.

Josie lifted her head out of her hands and sighed. "Please – can we talk about something else?" She begged, "Or, I don't know, go downstairs? They might be waiting for us, y'know?" With a groan of anger, she agreed, and the two finally headed downstairs.

* * *

It was weird and uncomfortable in Tyler's Hummer.

Actually, weird and uncomfortable would be a definitely understatement.

Josie did her best not to glance over at Reid's form where he sat, in the driver's seat, and he did the same. Caleb sat next to Josie and next to him sat Pogue. Since there wasn't much room for Kate, she opted on planting herself down on Pogue's lap, much to the Sons and Josie's amusement. Tyler was sitting down in the passenger seat, looking sad and angry at the same time _("Reid didn't let him drive; never lets him drive if he has a say about it, really." Caleb had whispered to her when she had asked him, everyone too busy with something to notice the two conversing)_.

The brunette girl shifted a bit in her seat, then glanced into the rear view mirror, only to freeze completely when she connected eyes with Reid's blue ones in the mirror. It was like his eyes were hypnotic, not giving her mercy and letting her go from their powerful and deadly gaze. But he then quickly looked away from the mirror and her, and a feeling of great sadness washed over her in huge waves, though she did her best to ignore the feeling and focus on something - _anything_ else.

So she focused on her feet.

Kate began to try and chat with everyone, but only Caleb and Pogue were the ones who talked back to her, with Josie saying something here and there. Reid was...quiet around Josie and Tyler was just plain angry at Reid for stealing his car.

And that was how the rest of the car ride worked out.

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**Silent Knight: Alrighty, review and whatnot, guys! :) I'd say some more stuff but I have to still finish my homework, so...yeah. Bye for now!**

**Until next chapter.**

**Silent Knight over and out!**


	10. Keep pushing and pulling me down

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T_

* * *

**Silent Knight: So, I pretty much hate this chapter. :( Stupidness all around. Hopefully you guys will like it anyway.**

**Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)  
**

* * *

**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 10: Keep pushing and pulling me down**

At the party, things were still quiet and tense between the Sons, Kate and Josie. Josie and Reid looked at anything and everything, anyone and everyone other than themselves. Josie wondered who apart from Kate thought that they were "perfect for each other" and "meant to be," and if any of the Sons noticed the tension between her and Reid. She hoped to God that they didn't, but she had a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach that they just might. After all, Caleb and Tyler are no doubt the smartest ones from the four – no offense to Reid and Pogue, but it's sort of the truth – and it wouldn't be hard for them to notice the tension. And since Kate had figured it out, she probably had wanted to talk about it to someone, and who else could that someone be, if not Pogue, her boyfriend?

Josie sighed, releasing the tension from her shoulders. She really needed to lighten up for a while. It was a party, right? What good was acting all stiff and quiet at a party? Sure, Josie had never been to a party like this before, but she's been to many social parties and galas and whatnot, and there she isn't stiff, though is a little quiet. Everyone there is either very snooty or very nice, and there would be no way that Josie wouldn't smile. It was the only time she liked spending with her parents, and that, in her opinion, was a little sad, considering the fact that they put up a facade in front of others, and Josie likes the facade parents very much. Even more than her real ones.

It just...wasn't right. Josie just wanted parents who cared for her – cared about her as much as she would, cleaning up all the messes they would create when drunk off their asses. Or...or how she made breakfast, lunch and dinner – if they stayed home long enough, that is – for them every day and every night, just so they don't go to sleep or wake up hungry.

But no, they would never do anything like that for her _(And she doesn't even drink beer or whatever else the other kids do _–_ though she does, sometimes, sip a bit of wine every now and then, when no one's looking _–_ it is addictive, after all)_. They didn't love her as much as she loved them – well, tried to love them. They don't even try! They don't even call her up and ask her how she is feeling or how she's doing or how many friends she's made. All they talk about with her is her grades and a whole bunch of stuff about what they've been doing with her. Or, if they're drunk, yap about what a disappointment she has turned out to be, or how they always wanted a boy and not a girl – just like every cliche parents want.

And quite frankly, Josie was disgusted by them. Though she kept that to herself. She never wanted anyone to find out or know, so she always tried her best to love them – to try to love them. That disgust she felt for them had been locked in that mental box, mental barrier, but after that was broken, there was no way to hide that disgust anymore. She could feel it, swirling up inside of her, growing bigger and bigger as she thought more and more about the disappointments her _parents _had been for _her_.

She came back to real life, back to the party, right when Reid angrily stomped away, muttering something about picking up a drunk girl, something that made Josie's stomach tighten even more. Sighing, she looked down at her shoes – well, the black pumps that were Kate's, ones that she had forced her to try on, and began to scratch at the ground, another nervous habit of hers.

"Josie!" Kate whined, turning away from her boyfriend to look at her, "Don't do that! The black will rub right off!"

Josie immediately stopped at that, though was itching to start again. She refrained herself, something that was getting harder and harder to do. "Sorry, Kate." She said apologetically, running a tired hand through her hair. She really wanted to leave the party now, but kept that little fact to herself. She wouldn't ruin other people's nights just because she didn't want to be there.

Kate waved a hand, then turned her attention back to trying to persuade Pogue to go to the "dance floor" – more like the kitchen floor – and dance with her. Pogue, nervous, looked at the other Sons for help, but they just gave him small smiles that obviously meant, "You're all on your own, dude." Pogue, sighing, told her that he was a bad dancer. Kate squealed happily, knowing that that meant a yes, and began to promptly drag him away.

Caleb started talking to Tyler about homework or something like that, and immediately Josie felt all alone, all by herself. Rubbing her left arm, she looked around the party, locating the others instantly. Reid was picking up a _very drunk _girl who seemed to know what she was doing, biting his earlobe and smiling sexily up at him. Reid had his arm around hers, was rubbing her chin suggestively, and leaned in to kiss her when he stiffened suddenly. His head snapped, turning over at where Josie was standing.

Hastily, she turned her head to peer at the kitchen, seeing the outlines of Pogue and Kate, very close to each other _(The kitchen lights were closed to make it feel more like a dance floor at a club somewhere)_. Feeling her cheeks burn up for prying into Pogue and Kate's love life, she looked away. But everyone else were either getting drunk, kissing heatedly, sleeping, already past out, dancing in the kitchen or drunk-talking with either friends, spouses, potential one night stands or even strangers.

And Josie knew immediately that she didn't belong here, at some party with a bunch of kids who went to school with her. She had never shown up at even one of their parties, so she had no idea what they were like. And since she had missed out on a lot of parties, there was no way she'd be able to fit in with one now. It was too difficult for her to now. The first year of Spenser was almost finishing, and she didn't know half of these people's faces.

Sighing tiredly, she started to walk towards the refreshments – who even says that anymore? _Me_, Josie dryly thought – to get some water. She had a feeling that there would be no water there – or, if there was, something might've been mixed into it or something, but still she tried.

And she had found the water – or, well, it seemed to be water. Josie wasn't too sure. It was more liquidy and not thick like the other drinks, but instead of being crystal clear, it was more brownish. Yup. There was no doubt about it in her head. _The water's been spiked with who knows what - beer? Tequila? Hell _–_ maybe even wine? Who knows._

"Sad the water's spiked, huh?" Came a voice from behind her. Josie turned around to see it was a boy. He had messy brown hair that almost seemed to resemble Tyler's, and deep caramel eyes that seemed to be, in Josie's opinion, like melted chocolate. He had a strong jaw line, a thin, but long nose and nice, plump lips. Josie felt herself blushing when she realized that she had been examining his lips as well, and immediately looked away from him. He let out a deep chuckle at that.

"A bit. I guess." Was Josie's lame _and_ shy response. He probably thought that she was a loser now.

But instead he reached out, a hand sticking out in front of her. "Name's Derek. May I have the pleasure of knowing yours?" Derek asked her with a smile _(It was different than Reid's, she noticed. He actually showed his teeth, rather than Reid, who only gave closed-lipped smiles to everyone)_.

Josie reached out as well, clasping her hand in his and shaking it daintily. "It's Josie. Josie Wesley." Josie clarified for no reason at all. She glanced shyly up at his melted chocolate eyes and then, blushing harder, looked away. And that made Derek let out a deep chuckle once more, which made her blush even harder – if possible, that is.

Derek let out a sigh, then looked at the rest of the party goers before glancing over at Josie. "So...how's a shy, quiet girl like you come to a party like this? Well - if you don't mind me asking, that is." Josie shook her head, meaning that she didn't mind, and then glanced over at Reid. Her heart broke in two when she saw that he was heatedly kissing the drunk girl from before, hands going up her shirt to –

She ripped her head away from that, then turned over to Derek and faked him a smile. "Friend made me come. Kate Tunney." Derek's eyes widened, like Josie had a feeling they would.

"Whoa. Kate Tunney? Like, Pogue Parry's Kate Tunney?" He asked her, as if she was lying.

Josie, feeling her bitter side taking over, rolled her eyes. "No. I'm obviously lying to you," She said sarcastically, then, when she was sure the bitter side was gone, widened her eyes, "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I-...I just..." But Derek just let out a small laugh.

"That's alright, Josie. Got a little spunk in you. I like that." He gave her a wink, and immediately she started blushing again. _Stupid cheeks, stupid blush_, Josie thought to herself as she turned away from him. And then, trying in vain to fight against her blush, she thought about something else that seemed to be nagging at her.

He was so gorgeous! Why the hell was he still talking to her? Was it because Kate knew the Sons, and she knew Kate? Or maybe he wanted Kate all to himself? Josie had no idea, but she didn't want him to leave her alone. She was feeling content, just talking to him. She felt like she could ignore everything and anyone. But then her eyes strayed over to Reid, who was still kissing that drunk brunette. Well, almost anyone...

"So, how are you liking the party, Josie?" Derek asked her suddenly, and she turned her head to look up at him, into his alluring eyes.

She shrugged, leaning her back against the refreshments table. "It's...okay. I guess." Came her lame response to his question. It was so obvious that she didn't like being here. Josie felt her ears turning pink. Why was she even lying to him in the first place about it? Why not just tell him the truth – that she hated it here and wanted to leave? Maybe...maybe he'd take her back to Spenser?

"Yeah. Right. I totally believe you." Derek said sarcastically, mimicking her by leaning back against the refreshments table.

"By the way – what are you doing here anyway?" He asked her suddenly. Wait – what? What did he mean by that - what was she doing here anyway? Did that mean that he wanted her to leave the party.

She widened her eyes. "Pardon?"

Derek laughed. "I don't mean I want you to leave, Josie. It's quite the opposite. Since you and Kira no doubt don't like one another that much – what are you doing here? At her party?" _This was Kira's party? _Josie suddenly thought to herself, panicking.

"Wait – what? I didn't – I don't...Kira's party? Really?" Josie asked him, eyes wide.

Derek nodded at her. "Hm...they probably didn't tell you. This is Kira's party. Sure, they Sons and Kate – they don't like her, but they can't deny the fact that she throws great parties. Whenever she throws one they come on over, because her parties are so good her enemies even want to come. Maybe they thought you knowing that didn't really matter." He shrugged his shoulders at her, then turned to face away from her, looking at the party in front of him while Josie only bowed her head.

_Doesn't matter? Doesn't matter? Kira hates me and it doesn't matter? _Josie found herself freaking out, _Why wouldn't Kate tell me this? Why not? Didn't she think that I would care!_

"So...uh, I was wondering...do you...do you want...uh, dance?" He asked her nervously. She felt herself blushing, but knew that she had to be alone so she could freak out alone, by herself. And then it hit her: _Oh my gosh _–_ what if Kira's seen me?_ Josie felt all light-headed then, and wanted to clutch her head, but did her best to stop herself from doing so. Freaking out in front of the first guy – well, Reid didn't count, did he? – that showed interest in her? Not a good thing to do.

Josie cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, Derek. You're a great guy an' all, and I love talking to you – but I gotta say no. I'm just...not feeling too well right now. Maybe if I outside, take a breather and come back?" Derek gave her a small smile and then nodded at her, giving her permission. Before she could think better of it, she leaned over and kissed his cheek, then, blushing, turned away and into the kitchen, opened the sliding door and walked out - onto the deck. Closing the door behind her, she closed her eyes, breathed in through her mouth, and felt the light-headedness sort of just...fly away.

Sighing loudly, she walked off of the deck, took off Kate's black pumps and neatly put them on the floor before straightening up and walking into the grass, feeling them between her toes. She wiggled them, smiling gently.

Her head snapped over to look at the deck, however, when the door slid open. And then she was staring at the smirking face of Kira Snider. She swallowed thickly, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights, or whatever the metaphor is.

"Well, Josie," Kira started, walking slowly towards her, heels click-clacking against the wood, "I can't believe you showed up here. At my party. Where I am. This wasn't your first mistake, either. I mean – really. When are you going to learn? And I thought you were the smart one," She started walking down the deck steps, "So, I heard you didn't get into trouble because the test answers weren't the real ones. Wanna tell me how you managed to pull that off?" Josie crinkled her eyebrows at that, tilting her head to the side, but started to walk backwards when Kira's heels met grass.

"I – I don't know what y-you're talking about." _Nice. The stutter's back_, Josie thought dryly to herself.

Kira tossed her head back and laughed shrilly, making the brunette flinch. "Right. 'Course you don't. Stop lying and tell me, Wesley. _I checked _the test answers. _I knew _that they were legit. Then _how the fuck _did you manage to get away scott-free?" The redhead's tone started to escalate, getting louder and colder.

Josie was shocked at that. _What? Legit test answers? Then...then, how did I...? But Provost Higgins said that...the Sons. They must've - but...how did they know?_

And then she remembered something. Something very vital.

* * *

_Though, then, she bumped into someone. Before she could fall onto the floor, she grabbed onto the lapels of their uniform jacket, and then peered up at their face, tears still falling._

_It was Reid who she had bumped into._

_He stared down at her, confused, his hands having settled onto her elbows to help steady her before, when she had almost fallen. And then, before Josie could realize what she was doing, she buried her head in his chest and sobbed softly. Josie felt him tense up, but didn't pull away from him. Surprisingly, he didn't pull away from her either. Instead, she relaxed a bit, put his hands around her waist, pulled her _closer_._

_Then he was backing up, leaning on the wall with her still in his arms, patting her head as if he had no idea what to do with her, which, in her opinion, was probably the case._

_"You alright?" He whispered into her ear, and she shivered before trying to bury her head even deeper into him, as if their close contact wasn't close enough for her. She shook her head, unable to say anything. "What happened?"_

_And then, with a shaky voice, she told him everything about what had happened, crying harder here and there, and he was tensing up further and further, until he was as stiff as a board, but she didn't mind. It didn't feel comfortable, of course, but it was still..._comfortable_ to be in his arms, to feel his hands around her waist, to snuggle up against him, to breathe his pine scent mixed with cologne and his own, personal musk. It was...refreshing, to feel so close to someone before.

* * *

_

Reid. It was Reid who must've used his powers to help her out and change the test answers into a fake, duplicate set of answers. Josie couldn't believe it - she had thought that he didn't like her, that he didn't care about her or for her - but he did. He cared. He cared a lot. Well, cared enough to get her out of the trouble that Kira had tried to get her in.

"Well, Wesley?" Kira snapped impatiently, "How'd you do it?"

Josie sighed. "Look, I-...I didn't d-do it, alright? Please...l-leave me alone." She was so confused about Reid now – even more confused than she had been before. Josie needed some time to sort out her feelings towards him. And Kira certainly wasn't helping. And if Kira wouldn't leave her alone, then she would leave Kira alone. So she grabbed Kate's pumps, didn't slip them on though, and started to walk towards the deck when Kira grabbed her arm and yanked her around.

"Don't leave when I'm fucking talking to you, Wesley." Kira growled angrily, yanking at her arm enough harder. Josie let out a yelp, dropping the pumps onto the ground, trying to pry her arm away from the angry redhead, but she was stronger than she looked.

_"Kira!" _The two girls turned to see a pissed off Reid Garwin standing on the deck, arms crossed. His eyes were spitting fire, and even though they were trained on the redhead, Josie still flinched, in unison with Kira. With a glare sent towards Josie, Kira tossed her arm away, then stomped on the deck stairs, crossed the deck without looking at Reid and left, into the kitchen where the music was so loud, everyone so crowded and so drunk, no one knew what had just happened between the three of them.

Josie sighed, running a hand through her hair. She looked at the floor, not wanting to look up at Reid. Unfortunately, tears started to swell in her eyes.

She was so confused with her life now that her box had broken, and everything bad about her life had flown out. And now, with the whole Reid fiasco going on in her life, it only amplified the pain and the confusion and the hurt. Now it seemed that everyone knew what happened between her and Kira and how she was friends with Kate and the Sons. Derek knew about what happened in the cafeteria, after all. This was definitely something that she didn't want happening in her life - but it was happening. All she wanted to do was finish Spenser with high marks and get into Harvard. But her life seemed to be getting worse and worse. And all of this happened because she found out that the Sons had some weird powers that they were hiding from everyone. A tear fell suddenly, dropping into the cool grass, lost. Lost like she felt.

Josie wished that Reid would just leave now that Kira, so he wouldn't see her break down like a complete idiot. But she knew that he was still standing there.

And then, finally, she started to care less and less about his presence, and the tears started to fall harder. This was the second time she had cried in front of Reid Garwin, and this was the second time that Reid Garwin had saved her from the wrath of Kira Snider.

It seemed like Josie was no longer strong enough to fight her own battles, to take care of herself. She was so...so weak. Her parents were right. She was a disappointment to everyone around her – and, now, even herself.

She didn't even realize it, but she fell onto the grass, felt their hard little points dig into her hands as they lay flat on the grass. And soon she was sobbing her heart out, unable to stop. Part of her didn't care; knowing that Reid was _right there_, and that she was crying at a party of all places. Parties were where you let loose, let go and put up a facade just like everyone else. But her facade was slipping, she was getting looser and looser. All in front of the guy she liked for God knows how long.

"Josie...? You – you alright?" Came his voice, sounding embarrassed and tentative – something that was so different from the real Reid. But weren't gys always nervous around crying girls? Josie was sure she had read that somewhere.

"Does it look like I'm alright, Reid? Does it?" Josie said between sobs, bringing her hands up to cup her eyes. "Everything's ruined. My life...it's – it's turned into something I never wanted it to become. I never wanted to be noticed in Spenser. I wanted to go to Harvard, unnoticed. My...my troubles...they...they were locked up in me, Reid. And now – they're...they're out! And they're worse than before! It's...it's all because of...because of _you_, Reid. All because of you."

Reid was quiet, but then he let out a chuckle. A dark chuckle. "Oh. Yeah. All because of me," Suddenly his voice was growing closer and closer, "I never wanted this either, okay? You're just...you ruined everything for _me_ too, Wesley."

Josie shook her hand, hands still cupped over her eyes. "You don't understand. My – my parents never wanted me. They saw me as a disappointment. I – I never believed them. But I had doubts, like every other person. And because of them...I – I became something else. Some bitter girl that I never wanted to be. And so I locked her up, along with all the angry and sad and painful memories into...into this mental box, if you will," Oh God; why the hell was she telling this to someone like Garwin of all people? "And...and I left those memories behind. Shoved them into the back of my head, because I hated them. I never wanted them near me again. Never wanted to think about them again. But...but then you happened. I-...I l-l-liked you, Reid. Ever since I first s-saw you, i-in middle school. But t-then Spenser h-happened.

"First I thought Spenser would be the s-s-same as middle school. N-Nobody would notice me - I'd always...al..." She sighed, running a hand through her hair, "My point is...you started to notice me when the History project happened. I-I thought that was what I wanted, but then others noticed me, too. Kira, all of your one night stands...they made life horrible. And when they threatened my marks...I snapped, alright?

"The box broke and now I'm broken again, b-...but I'll never be fixed, not like before. And I was never the same when I made that box and shoved all those memories and thoughts and the pain. I was always different, but I never wanted to a-admit it. And now...here we are. So you tell me, Reid...tell me...what do you want from me?" There was silence.

Josie looked up to see Reid sitting on the ground, in the grass, in front of her. Their eyes locked, and she saw something...different in his eyes. Tears fell from her eyes, and she wished that she could take everything she had just uttered back. She was about to look away when Reid cupped her cheeks and kissed her. Her eyes closed, and she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer towards her.

Slowly he pulled away, and she opened her eyes. Their eyes locked once more. "Does that answer your question?" Came his quiet response.

Silent tears fell, but these were different tears. Tears of joy, Josie thought everyone called them. She gave him a watery smile, pulled one of her arms away from his neck to wipe her eyes. Then she nodded, letting out a small laugh.

And she was once more pulled closer, and their lips joined again.

* * *

**Silent Knight: See? I hate it. :( But I didn't want you guys to wait for this one too much, so here it is! Let me know what you guys thought of it - if you hated it like I did or liked it - gasp!**

**Until next chapter.**

**Silent Knight over and out!  
**


	11. I knew, I know in my heart it's not you

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

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**Silent Knight: Here we are - the eleventh chapter! And I'm pretty sure that this is the longest chapter for this story that I've written. And, uhm...who's shocked I managed to get this far? I'm pretty sure I am, but sad I am not. I'm glad that I'll be able to finish this story up, and I'm sure that all of you are pretty happy/excited/shock/ecstatic that I am, too. :)**

**So...there will be a few things you guys may not like, but I tried to add a lot of things that you guys **will **like - and those are all sprinkled in this chapter. There'll be some Pogue/Kate here and there for all you Pogue/Kate fans who are reading this, and, of course, the main pairing for this story - Reid/Josie. A lot of Reid/Josie in this one, folks, along with Josie/Kate friendship that I enjoy writing the most. After all - Josie deserves a gal pal, don't you guys think? ;) And a little small bit of Tyler/OC lovin' and a little bit of Tyler lovin' as well, because it's too hard to resist.**

**Anywho, moving on. Enjoy! :DD  
**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)

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**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 11: I knew, I know in my heart it's not you**

_"...And now...here we are. So you tell me, Reid...tell me...what do you want from me?" There was silence._

_Josie looked up to see Reid sitting on the ground, in the grass, in front of her. Their eyes locked, and she saw something...different in his eyes. Tears fell from her eyes, and she wished that she could take everything she had just uttered back. She was about to look away when Reid cupped her cheeks and kissed her. Her eyes closed, and she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer towards her._

_Slowly he pulled away, and she opened her eyes. Their eyes locked once more. "Does that answer your question?" Came his quiet response._

_Silent tears fell, but these were different tears. Tears of joy, Josie thought everyone called them. She gave him a watery smile, pulled one of her arms away from his neck to wipe her eyes. Then she nodded, letting out a small laugh._

_And she was once more pulled closer, and their lips joined again.

* * *

_

Josie shook her head lightly, trying to clear her imagine from what had happened yesterday at Kira's party – trying and failing miserably. The kisses they had shared until they both went inside kept on whirling in her head, and she kept on remembering how her lips felt against Reid's, and content she felt in his embrace, the salty taste her tears had emitted, how gentle he had been with her – so gentle she was pretty sure she was going to cry.

"It doesn't matter now," Josie whispered to herself, voice cracking near the end, "He...he acts like it never happened." It was true. Even though he was acting like the Reid Garwin everyone knew around her now, he still didn't say anything to her about what had happened last night. He never tried to talk to her about the kisses they had shared. She kept on trying to tell herself it was because he had never been in a relationship quite like he one he had with her _(Well...might have with her, really)_, but she knew that wasn't why. He didn't like her that much - he didn't want her. He wanted someone who actually had experience with...with..._sex_. And Josie was exactly the type of girl who didn't _(She was still a virgin, after all)_.

And boys didn't want "to be with" virgins - they tended to avoid them.

That pulled her mind towards Derek next - Derek from the party. What did he want from her, then? Friendship? There was no way. Nobody wanted to willingly be her friend. Kate and the Sons had taken pity on her when Kira had first mouthed off to her and when she had had her break down, Caleb _and _Reid both had been there to witness it.

All everyone gave her was pity, so why would Derek be any different? Why would _Reid _be any different?

Josie ran a hand through her damp hair _(She had just recently taken a shower) _and sighed, then looked back down at her Trig homework and scribbled down yet another easy answer to an even easier question. Couldn't Mrs. Lebos give them something challenging for once? The bonus question that was meant to be hard wasn't as hard as Josie thought it would be – she had done it first, because she had been thinking it would be a challenge – but maybe it was because some of the students asked her to make the questions less challenging. Mrs. Lebos was a very soft-hearted teacher, which made Josie smile, but it was seriously frustrating her now. How was she supposed to get her mind off of Kira's party and what had happened there when all she had was easy Trig questions that even eight year old would be able to answer with ease?

"I might have to talk to Mrs. Lebos to give me harder homework questions next time I see her," Josie whispered, scribbling down another answer, then another a few seconds later, "These are way too easy for me. I wonder if they're hard for others? ...are they hard for Reid?" She immediately shook her head at that question, "No – stop freakin' thinking about him, Wesley. He's an ass who likes to play with people's hearts – especially yours. So why even give him the time of day? Stop it! Stop it _right now_!"

Thankfully, her phone rang, immediately interrupting her treacherous thoughts. Letting out a relieved sigh, she flipped her phone open _(Yes – she likes flip-phones, thank you very much)_, pressed the green telephone button and put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She almost said, "Hello, Wesley residence?" like her parents had forced her to say whenever the phone rang in their house - even though her friends call her more than their "friends" or business associative did _(Hello? That's why the invented your very own, personal phone!)_.

"Hello? Josie?" Kate.

Josie closed her Trig homework – almost finished, she was – and laid backwards onto her bed, shifting a bit until she finally got comfortable enough in her position before answering her friend – _gosh she probably would never get used to saying "friend;" it was far too foreign now._ "Yeah. I'm here. What's up?" She asked casually.

"Hey, Josie. How are you?"

Josie sighed. She couldn't believe that Kate wasn't getting to the point. _Didn't she have that Math project we were assigned with to finish? It's due on Monday, after all_, Josie thought to herself, but then shook her head, _Why they hell am I being so mean? This is what friends do _–_ ask how each other are...right? God _–_ I've not had any friends for so long that it's...weird._

"I'm good," Josie said weakly, "How are you? And Pogue?" She added "And Pogue?" at the end knowing that friends – well, girls that were friends, any way – almost always asked each other, if either were in relationships, how "their man" was doing. She wasn't a hundred percent sure – though she had only romance movies as a "Teenage Girls Handbook To Life" to help her out, since she hadn't been able to get a copy of the book every teenage girl had to have or were going to be losers who had no friends and, therefore, no life. Josie managed to fall into the no-friends-no-life category, unfortunately.

Kate giggled. "I'm good. And Pogue – _shh, honey! Stop that! I'm trying to talk to Josie! _– is fine as well. Our relationship's going..." Another giggle, "Really, really good right now." Josie rolled her eyes when she heard Kate whispering – well, attempting to whisper – to Pogue so she wouldn't be able to know that they had gone to her dorm room and, no doubt, had...well..._sex_. Once more she rolled her eyes – but this time at herself and not Kate and Pogue. Why did she have trouble thinking and saying...saying...that...word.

Whatever. She didn't have much time to think about that. Josie had to say something now to make Kate aware of the fact that she was still there and paying attention to her.

"Really? That's awesome, Kate. Now...what's up? Any reason for calling or was it just the spur of the moment sort of thing?" Josie was pretty sure it wasn't a spur of the moment "sort of thing," concerning the fact that she had Pogue there to...entertain her...better than Josie ever could - well, uh, would. Josie blushed at that thought.

"No. Not a spur of the moment thing – _for sure_. Uh...no offense, Jose," _Jose?_ What was that? A nickname of sorts? "We – I mean..._I _was wondering if you wanted to come to Nicky's. Reid, Tyler, Caleb, Pogue...they're all coming, too." _Reid...kissing...prince...fairy tale_, Josie shook her head to clear that away from her head, then furrowed her eyebrows. Prince? Fairy tale? Why the heck was she thinking of that? What did Reid have to do with that one bizarre dream – more like nightmare if Josie said so – that she had many nights ago? _Nothing. He had nothing to do with that dream...nightmare...whatever it was._

"Uh...rain check?" Josie did not want to come face-to-face with Reid, especially since he didn't at all want to discuss about that night when they had unexpectedly kissed – well, more like made out. It had definitely been a make out session, Josie decided then, blushing all the while.

Kate moaned – not in _that _way, but more in a child-like way. "Why not, Jo?" _What? _Another _nickname? And so soon? _"I'm gonna be the only girl between four boys! _Please_, Josie? _Please?_" She could then hear a deep murmur – Pogue. He was saying something about begging and something that had to do with him, and by the suggestive tone he said it in, it no doubt was...well, _that _sort of dirty joke. Josie, feeling mad at herself for doing it so much in such a short span of time, blushed once more _(She was glad that Kate wasn't able to see her rosy cheeks _–_ Pogue too, for that matter)_.

Then Josie thought about Kate, and, not wanting her to hold any type of grudge for not coming, replied with, "Alright, Kate. I'll come."

Kate squealed happily. "_Eep!_ Thanks so much, hun! We'll come pick you up soon, so be ready, alright?" And without even a single goodbye, Kate closed the phone on her. Josie still kept the phone to her ear, listening to the dial-tone.

"...bye." She said, then flipped her phone closed.

_Dear God - why the heck did I say yes? And why does this seem a lot like déjà vu?_

_...probably because it is._

With a small, dejected sigh, Josie got up and walked toward her closet to find something Nicky's-approved. It wasn't too hard, for there was no Kate breathing down her neck to force her to wear something different than she usually wore to Nicky's.

Thank God for that.

* * *

Kate's smile turned into a frown when she saw Josie in her Nicky's-approved clothes. She groaned distastefully at her friend as she approached her with a small, amused smile. Running a hand through her hair, Josie looked down at her attire, looked up at her friend and shrugged her shoulders in a false-apologetic way. Now-a-days, she found herself loosening a bit around Kate every now and then, and this moment in time was one of those every-now-and-thens.

"Really, Josie? Why are you wearing that?" With one dramatic sweep of a hand, she gestured at Josie's baggy black hoodie and baggy black cargo pants, topped off with her black Converse. If Josie had dark black skin and hair to match her clothes and tucked in her white shirt, which she was wearing underneath the hoodie, she would've blended into the darkness of the night quite easily.

Josie shrugged once more. "I'm always wearing something close to this when I go to Nicky's, Kate." Was her light-hearted answer.

Kate stared at her for a short moment. "Yeah. I could totally see you wearing that every time you went to Nicky's." She finally said with a nod of her head. Josie chuckled quietly, too embarrassed to laugh any louder. Josie never used to be a soft-spoken girl, but when her parents' love affair with alcohol _(and, occasionally, drugs)_ started, she changed so quick, it seemed almost over-night. But she quickly dodged those painful memories and returned back to the present, then gave Kate a weak grin, trying to cover up the sadness she had started to feel inside.

Pogue took off his bike helmet, tucked it under his armpit, hand balanced over his hip, one hand running through his hair. That really made him look like a hot biker guy from a movie or something like that, in Josie's opinion, anyway. He walked towards Kate and whispered something in her ear. Shocked, Kate turned, wide-eyed, to look over at him.

"What? No way! I-I can't...I..I won't!" Kate yelped, Pogue smirking a bit in her direction.

"What's wrong?" Josie asked, furrowing her eyebrows, confused.

Kate swung her troubled eyes over to Josie. "He wants me to ride with him on his bike! Can you believe him?" It looked like she didn't like bikes or was afraid of them - maybe even both, in Josie's opinion, by the way she always looked back at his bike when talking, a horrendous look on her face that seemed rather comical than anything else, really. But Josie didn't dare voice that out loud.

Not sure what to do, she rubbed the back of her neck. What was she supposed to say. "Er...no...?" Pogue snorted at that, but Kate seemed relieved, swinging around to face her boyfriend.

_"See?"_ She asked him, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly. Pogue snorted again.

"Kate, c'mon. It won't be so bad." Kate turned her face away from him like a small child, and Pogue sighed and looked down, disappointed. Josie frowned at that, feeling sorry for the Son. She ran a hand through her hair – and then she was struck with an idea. She did her best not to smile and turned over to Pogue.

"Hey, Pogue?" He looked up at her, eyes questioning, "Since Kate, doesn't want to get on – can I? I've always wanted to ride on a bike." Pogue raised an eyebrow at her – probably wondering why someone like Josie would want to ride on a motorbike, but swiftly, before Kate turned around to look at her, she winked at him. His eyes lit up when he realized what she was doing, and smirked, but then dropped it when Kate turned her wide eyes towards him, then towards Josie, shocked at what was doing on – not knowing what Pogue and Josie were trying to do.

Reid stuck his head out from the driver's seat of the Hummer. "C'mon, guys! Are you girls getting in or what?" He hollered, sticking his arm out and thumping it on the door twice until Tyler shouted at him to stop. He turned his head back in, no doubt smirking at him, then looked back outside at them. Josie blushed, looking away, and stared at Pogue.

"Well?" She asked him, trying to sound excited, "Can I?"

Pogue gave her a boyish grin, acting happy as well. "Sure you can, Josie! Here." He handed her the bike helmet, and Josie's heart jumped up to her throat when Kate didn't say anything to the two of them. The truth was was that she didn't like bikes at all – she thought they were loud, obnoxious and unsafe, and so, like a sane person, she didn't want to ride one – ever. In short, she was scared of riding on motorbikes. And if Kate didn't speak up – out of jealousy because, whether she admitted it or not, Josie was pretty sure that she could be as jealous as Pogue was said to be – soon, she would have to mount one.

Sighing, heart thumping, she grabbed the extra bike helmet and pushed her hair over one shoulder. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Reid raise an eyebrow, frown on his face. Closing her eyes, she placed the helmet over her head.

Pogue snuck a glance towards his girlfriend before turning over to Josie, swishing his head over to his bike, indicating her to start walking towards it, still keeping a polite smile on his face. Josie swallowed thickly, and shakingly started to walk towards the bike. _Speak up, Kate. Please...please speak up, Kate. Please, please, please,_ Josie said that mantra over and over in her head, but Kate said nothing.

"Wait! Pogue!" Pogue turned around from where he had been standing, about to swing a leg over his bike. He tried his best to look curious, but Josie could see a smile peeking from the corner of his lips. Josie smiled softly. She looked down at the ground before looking up again at Kate.

"Seriously, guys!" Reid shouted, "Let's a frickin' _move on_!" But they ignored him.

"I'll...I, um, changed my mind. I...I wanna ride on the...thing." Her distaste was evident to both Pogue and Josie, but as was the jealousy.

Josie smiled slightly, then grabbed the helmet firmly with both hands and took it off of her head, placing it into Kate's outstretched hands. Kate gave her a triumphant smile, which made the brunette almost want to burst out in laughter. Instead, she nodded at both the grinning Pogue and the now-panic-stricken Kate, then began walked towards the Hummer, opening the car door and entering the vehicle. Immediately she was staring into deep depths of icy blue.

"What the hell is Kate doing outside? Why's she putting on Pogue's extra helmet? It's not...what I think is happening...is it?" He asked her. She was still shocked that he was actually talking to her, that everything was sort of okay. After all, Reid would never talk about the kissing incident that had happened between them. But Josie didn't mind – of course she didn't. All she had to do was act - she meant, ignore the fact that they had ever kissed, like he was doing. It would be easy - _of course it would_ -

Okay. That was pretty much shit, as you may have guessed.

Josie cared. She cared a lot more than she should've had – but could you blame her? She had spilled her guts out to this guy and he had kissed and now he's acting like nothing like that had happened and was now acting like he had never ignored her or hated her or never talked to her in his life. It made Josie want to crawl into a corner and want to start crying, even though, if this had happened to her a while back, she would've been ecstatic.

Well, a lot can change in a few weeks – a few months. Josie knew that, because her life was always centered around change and sadness and shock. It was nothing new to her, but dealing change that also included a boy she liked and who seemed to like her back? That was something so different than she had ever done – and that scared her. It scared her a lot.

But, instead of saying what she wanted to say – _"Why, Reid? Why are you acting like this towards me? Why are you acting like I never poured my heart out to you, like you never kissed me and I never kissed you and you never thought anything romantic about me when I'm pretty sure now that you did? Why?"_ – she smiled politely at him, acting like everything was alright. Like everything was just fucking _dandy_, and answered, "Oh, Pogue and I tricked her into riding the bike with him." Said it like that happened all the time.

Reid's eyes widened, and soon he started laughing. Tyler followed, and then Caleb was laughing, too. Josie cracked a smile despite the fact that her resentment towards Reid was still there, deep in her heart, but if she didn't really like Reid much right then didn't mean that she couldn't be happy anywhere around him. And so, with that in her mind, she let out a small laugh, but quietened when the Sons stopped laughing. How awkward would it be if she kept on laughing?

Tyler wiped away a fake tear. "That's hilarious, Josie! How'd you guys managed to pull _that _off? Kate _hates _motorcycles!" He asked her, letting out a chuckle here and there, a boyish smile littered across his face that made him look so much younger. The name Baby Boy definitely seemed to be something that had been chosen wisely for him – even though the theory was was that Tyler was nicknamed Baby Boy because of the fact that he was the youngest of the Sons.

Josie smiled, shrugged and responded with a, "Made her jealous by asking Pogue if I could ride with him." That caused the three Sons to burst into laughter once more, and Josie laughed along with them as well – louder than she had before. Like she used to laugh before her parents had drank excessively, before they started having drugs, before her life had gone downhill. It felt...nice.

Finally, they stopped laughing, only chuckles escaping them every now and then, and Reid started up the Hummer, chasing after the couple on Pogue's bike. Josie leaned backwards, a happy smile on her face as she peeked at Tyler, then Caleb and finally the side of Reid's face. There was a smirk on his face – the trademark Garwin smirk that everyone were always talking about, the one that everyone saw more than once a day. For an unknown reason, she looked away, blushing as if she was doing something she shouldn't have been doing.

And that was how the rest of the car ride was – not uncomfortable, but not comfortable, either. Although – hey, at least Josie was getting somewhere. At least it seemed like she was getting closer to the Sons and Kate.

And that, in Josie's book, was _definitely _getting somewhere.

* * *

Josie smiled when she saw Pogue and Kate standing next to the bike; they were talking with each other, smiles on both of their faces. They seemed...close. Both physically and emotionally. And it made the brunette happy to know that she was part of the reason why they were so happy – it made her feel...something that she hadn't felt before. Something that, after her life "went down the drain," she had wanted to feel.

Content. Happy. Peaceful.

As Pogue and Caleb started to talk about arranging a Foosball game, Josie walked over to Kate, who was now pouting, watching her boyfriend practically ignore her as he talked about Foosball of all things.

"So, how'd it go? Did you hate it as usual?" Kate opened her mouth, but she interjected quickly, "Or did you actually manage to like it for once?"

Kate paused, her face looking astonished ad shocked, then she let out a laugh. "Well, well, well, Wesley – I think you just might be warming up to us, huh?" That made Josie blush, and seeing her blush made the dark-skinned teen start laughing even harder. The two friends then started to make their way into Nicky's, after Tyler and Reid had gone inside after Reid had closed all doors to the Hummer. Pogue and Caleb followed the two girls, now talking about cars of all things.

Ugh. Men.

When they all sat down at a table – their usual table, Josie had noticed, the one that's never filled by the time they get there, probably because no one wanted to mess with the Sons Of Ipswich – conversation easily flowed, and Josie couldn't believe that the last time she was here she hadn't been known by the Sons Of Ipswich and Kate Tunney, and now, here she was, sitting and talking and chuckling along with them as if they had been friends for as long as the Sons had known one another, which kind of scared her and made her happy at the same time, a strange combination indeed.

She talked to Pogue about their plan and how it had been so successful – she even teased Kate about the bike incident that had occurred beforehand – she talked to Tyler about the Math project they had to finish, making Kate freak out because she had forgotten and the others get plain bored, especially Reid – she talked to Caleb about the valedictorian speech, even though it was so far away – and, finally, she talked to Reid about the History project and let him know that she had already handed it in to Mr. Briggs.

A weird expression took over his face when she had said that, and he had stiffly nodded before turning away from her and talking to Tyler about a girl in History that he had seen who, as he had said, had been lookin' _hott_ – even though the girl had been wearing the Spenser Academy uniform, no doubt having hemmed her skirt a bit and loosen some of the shirt's buttons to let the Spenser boys be able to look down her shirt, like most of the girls. Some girls – take Kate and Josie, for example – had actually kept their uniforms the same, though, and most of those girls had no trouble managing to "hook up" with guys, so why were those other girls trying to...sell themselves like they were in the black market or something? Josie had no idea.

No one really noticed this brush off, not even Kate, and so, looking away from their table, Josie looked at the one she had been sitting at last time she had been there, sighing as she stared at the three Spenser girls who were occupying the seats there, talking rather heatedly about something. Josie knew exactly who they were – Anna Star, Josephine Bright and Layla Mavis – a.k.a, the founders of the "I Love Tyler Simms" club that had about three hundred followers, some of them even guys.

Of course, the "I Love Reid Garwin" club had more members than the "I Love Tyler Simms," and the "I Love Caleb Danvers" club was the highest out of all of them, and the "I Love Pogue Parry" club – Kate actually being a member out of a dare from Reid – was third-best. Unfortunately, it seemed that the "I Love Tyler Simms" club was the smallest club out of all four of them, and that made her feel bad for the youngest Son. Not that she would ever join, but why couldn't Tyler be first for...well, _anything_?

He wasn't the brainiest of them – Caleb was; he wasn't the so-called "coolest" of them – Pogue was; he wasn't the smart-aleck out of them – Reid was. And so everyone dubbed him as the most innocent of them, and that, in Josie's eyes, wasn't fair to him. He was so much more than that, and everyone was always underestimating the poor guy.

Sort of like...sort of like –

_Me_, Josie thought with a sad smile. _Yeah – pretty much like me all right._

Soon enough, Pogue and Caleb left to go play on the Foosball table, the line that had been starting there vanishing just like that considering the fact that they were two of the four Sons Of Ipswich, people who weren't supposed to be messed with. Then Josie, Reid, Tyler and Kate remained.

Kate, who had been politely sitting there in complete boredom and simply couldn't take it anymore, cast an apologetic look at Josie – which totally meant, _"I'm sorry, I'm going to leave you with two guys that you don't know too well and one of which is the guy you like." _– and shuffled awkwardly towards Pogue and Caleb. Then Josie, Reid and Tyler remained.

Just when Reid and Tyler were supposed to go to the pool tables, a girl – Layla Mavis, the only sane one out of the "I Love Tyler Simms" founders – shyly asks him to dance, and, sending an apologetic look in Reid's direction, he agrees. Then Josie and Reid remained.

An awkward silence filtered over the two of them as they sat there, at the same table, looking away from each other – Josie was glancing towards the Sons and Kate while Reid watched Tyler dance with Layla Mavis _(Josie was pretty sure Reid knew she was one of the founders of the "I Love Tyler Simms" club, but she was sure that Tyler didn't know that – and the moment he found out, he'd leave Layla faster than Layla could say "I love you, Tyler Simms.")_. Neither of them said a word to the other – Josie out of shyness and Reid out of awkwardness and uncomfortableness. Oh, and then there was the fact that he just didn't want to talk to her about anything, already knowing what she wanted to talk about the most – and that was something he didn't want to talk about – _ever_, if he could help it.

Finally, Josie mustered up the courage and turned towards Reid, who was still watching Tyler and Layla dance. "R-Reid, I just wanted to talk about K-Kira's party and...what...w-...what had happened ba–" But Reid had stood up, given her a cold look, and started walking towards the pool tables, alone. For a second she just sat there by herself, one hand tapping lightly against the table and the other running absentmindedly through her hair. With a sigh, she pushed herself up and began to walk towards the pool tables, at the one where Reid was at, playing by himself. He was chalking a cue stick when she walked towards him, then he saw her, groaned and placed the cue stick on the pool table that he was occupying.

"What the hell do you want, Josie?" He asked her rather rudely.

Josie ignored his rudeness and, for once, got straight to the point. "I think y-you...already know." She stammered, rubbing a hand across the back of her neck, looking away from him before summoning all the courage she had left and looked straight at him, into the depths of his blue eyes. They were beautiful, framed with dark lashes _(Josie thought Reid might've been a brunette before he dyed his hair, but she wasn't exactly that sure)_.

"Yeah? Well I don't want to talk about it." Reid told her up-front, something that she liked and hated about him from the start.

"Yeah? Well I do." Josie tried to muster up all the sass she had, but it seemed like it wasn't much, because her voice wavered a lot as she said those few words. Reid started at her with a raised eyebrow before bursting into laughter, right in her face. She blushed rather hard and looked down at her Converse, twisting the hem of her sweater as she waited for him to stop laughing at her and her wimpiness. She already knew how wimpy she had sounded – there was no need for him to rub new salt on _that _old wound.

Then he began ignoring her, setting up his "solo" game in silence and without even one small glance in her direction. Josie just stood there like a complete moron, looking around every now and then, running a hand over her face, through her hair, rubbing the back of her neck. But there was no way she was going to leave Reid here – especially when they still had something serious to talk about. And if Reid didn't want to talk, then fine. She'd just annoy him by constantly being in his presence. She was so sick and tired of always ignoring him because he was ignoring her – of being too shy to say anything that was on her mind to him because she was scared of what she would stay.

And if she looked like a complete idiot standing there, then fine. Whatever. Let all of her dignity and little pride leave her. Josie didn't care much about those two things anyway.

A twenty was slapped on Reid's pool table, and both Reid and Josie looked up to see a smirking Aaron Abbott. Josie rolled her eyes at the boy who wasn't even staring at her but at Reid and looked down at the pool table and the balls, along with Reid's cue stick that was now resting on it. Let the boys have their little man talk that they were always having when playing pool with each other.

"Well, well, well," Reid let out, no doubt smirking because she could practically hear it in his voice, "What brings you here, Abbott? Come to lose your money again? I gotta say – I'm getting kinda tired of taking it. Really," Then he let out a small chuckle, "Oh. Wait. If I said I meant that, I'd be lying." Josie rolled her eyes at that. Could he _be _more of an egotistical Spenser boy? Aaron was no doubt glaring at him then.

"Please, Garwin. This is going to be the last time you'll ever take any money from me." He sneered. It was funny because Josie was pretty sure that that was he always said.

Cue Reid rolling his eyes. "Please, Abbott. That's what you always say, but what happens then?" Aaron doesn't answer the question, so the blond answers for him, "Oh, yeah – _you lose to me again._"

Aaron growled. "Don't test me, Garwin –"

Reid cruelly interjected. "Don't you test _me_, Abbott." And then you could cue the glaring match. Josie sighed softly to herself – these two were so easy to get riled up when they were even twenty yards near one another, no lie. To her, it was sort of sad – but it _was _the Garwin-Abbott hate – it was hard not to get riled up yourself just by watching those two. But Josie was getting riled up not because of the two of them, only because of one.

Take your guess – which one? Reid or Aaron?

Yeah. You were absolutely right. It _was _Reid that was getting her riled up, by ignoring her the whole time.

But it seemed like Aaron didn't want to ignore her, because, after the glaring match was over, he turned to look at her. "So, I heard quite a lot about you from Kira, uh..." He forgot her name. _Again._

Josie rolled her eyes at the guy's pigheadedness. "Josie. Josie Wesley, Aaron."

"...Josie." He finished with a smirk. "And...I gotta say – what she's been telling me," Aaron stepped closer to her, making her take a tiny step away from him, "...it's really been kinda, turning me on, y'know?" Josie narrowed her eyes at him, and opened her mouth to say something when –

"Abbott – leave the girl the fuck alone, and let me beat you in pool, okay?" Aaron and Josie turned their attention to Reid, who was staring at Aaron, scowling with his arms across his chest, having it puffed out like he actually was very muscular like Pogue or Caleb rather than lanky like Tyler _(Though Josie believed that she liked lanky-Reid more than muscular-Reid, but she never, ever seen muscular-Reid before)_.

Aaron rounded on Reid. "Oh, and what if I _don't_ leave her alone and _don't _play pool with you?" God. This was _so stupid_, yet somehow so...entertaining, in a weird sort of way. Not the fact that they were fighting for her, which they weren't, but because it was the Garwin-Abbott fight, something you always saw yet it never failed to entertain you. Even Josie had to admit it was entertaining, even though she sometimes thought the two were always in their face and trying to one-up the other, which seemed rather cliche to her.

Reid shoved him away from him, almost causing Aaron to topple back on her, but he managed to regain his balance. With a small roar, Aaron ran up and shobed at Reid. The two continued shoving until Aaron had enough and was about to try and punch Reid when Nicky came out of nowhere from behind Josie, holding up the "legendary" baseball bat threateningly.

"Alright, you two! Take it outta here! _Now._" Nicky growled at Reid and Aaron, his eyes darting from one boy to the other. The two glared at the each other before turning away from Nicky and walking out the back door. Nicky sighed then, sagging, letting his arms fall to his sides, then he gave Josie a small, almost-fatherly smile before walking back to the bar to maintain his business and fill up the stomach of hungry customers again. Running a hand through her hair, she looked at the dance floor, and saw Tyler still dancing with Layla. She turned towards the Foosball table to see Pogue and Caleb in a heated match, Kate cheering on first Pogue then Caleb.

It seemed like none of them saw what happened between Reid and Aaron except for her, Nicky and some other Spenser students who were now glancing at her and whispering amongst one another. Finally, when she couldn't stand it anymore, she walked determinedly towards the back door and opened to it, only to see Reid leap at Aaron and start punching him repeatedly in the face. Since Aaron had his eyes closed, he couldn't see that, suddenly, almost out of nowhere, Reid's eyes had turned black. Pitch black.

Josie's eyes widened when she realized that he might use his powers out of anger on Aaron, and she knew she had to do something before Reid got discovered and Aaron beaten up a little too much.

Running towards them, the got in between them and pushed Reid away from Aaron. "Stop it!" She cried. A second before Aaron opened his eyes, Reid's eyes went from pitch black back to their normal blue, and you could actually see the white in his eyes again, something that made Josie's rapidly-beating heart slow down a bit.

"Get away from Aaron, Josie. I have some unfinished business with him."

"No, Reid – you don't." Aaron put his hand over one of his hurt cheek and quickly fled, opening the back door and disappearing back inside of Nicky's.

Reid turned towards her then, having watched Aaron as he ran away like a pussy. His intense glare caused her to flinch. "What the hell, Josie? What the fuck were you doing, in the middle of our fight?" He grabbed her arms in a vice grip – so tight that Josie could feel bruises. She winced, and immediately his eyes widened and he pulled his arms away from her, turning his back on her, running a hand through his short blond hair, puffing out a loud breath.

There was silence then, and Josie continued to watch Reid's back as he tried to pull himself together.

Josie looked down at the floor then. "I-...I wanted to talk you about...about what happened at Kira's party. After Kira left." She whispered. She swore that she could feel tears creeping up on her again, but she didn't want to cry in front of Reid again. The first time had been embarrassing enough for her.

Reid turned to look at her, face red but composed. "But I don't want to talk about what happened." He told her.

"Well though, Reid, because I want to!" Josie suddenly shouted. As her voice echoed, her eyes widened, and she couldn't believe that she had it in her to actually shout at Reid Garwin, one of the Sons Of Ipswich.

The blond boy glared at her then. "Fine, then. What? What is it?"

She looked at the ground again, feeling the anger just...seep away from her. "I...I want to talk about w-what I s-said to you. I...I want to talk ab-about why...why y-you kissed me." Her voice was quieter then, sounded almost child-like, as if Reid was the parent who was mad at her for stealing a cookie from the cookie jar when she was supposed to wait after dinner to do so.

He sighed. "You had some steam to let out and I was there. I was feeling horny because I couldn't lay that drunk girl I had been making out with and saw Kira trail after you so I had to help you out, and that meant no sex for me, and you were there. So you told me about your problems and I made out with you. It's a one time thing, alright?" Reid said this slowly, as if he was talking to some sort of deranged mental patient and he was the therapist.

Josie drooped her rigid shoulders, tired of talking to someone who wasn't admitting the truth, the truth that she knew now – that she liked him and he liked her. But if he didn't want to admit it, then fine. There was absolutely nothing she could do about it now. Maybe it was time to let it go. Maybe they just weren't meant to be. Maybe Josie had been wrong about the attraction, the pull she had felt whenever she was anywhere near Reid, or even just looking at a photo of him or something. Maybe her stupid brain had made it all up because she wasn't the same anymore, because she was lonelier than ever now that she had enrolled into Spenser Academy.

Maybe it was time to leave Reid Garwin alone, and time for Reid Garwin to leave Josie Wesley alone.

She nodded at him. "Yeah...yeah, y-...you're right. It was just..." She sighed, "Yeah. Alright. Thanks for the chat then, Reid. I guess I'll, uh, see you later then." The brunette turned, paused, closed her eyes tightly before opening them, and began to walk to towards the back door, wanting to leave Reid quickly – hoping that the crippling pain she was feeling in her heart would suddenly go, go and leave her alone like Reid was doing to her and like she was doing to him now.

But of course, it didn't.

Whatever. She had to hope it'd leave soon. Leave like she was leaving Reid, leaving the pull she always felt, leaving the attraction that probably was never there between them.

It was time to say goodbye – goodbye to Reid Garwin once and for all.

Though, suddenly, Reid grasped her arm. He turned her around to face him. She opened her mouth to tell him that she was leaving – but then his mouth was on hers, and he was like a hungry, rabid wolf – groaning and moaning, pulling her closer, tighter against him. Wrapping an arm around her waist, the other digging into her hair, tilting her head back a bit for easier access to her mouth and tongue.

And then Josie was responding back with the same fervor, the same ferocity. Digging her hands into his hair, tangling her tongue with his, letting loose small groans that made her blush a bit – nothing out of the usual, really. Oh – except for the fact that _Reid Garwin _was kissing _her_, Josie Wesley of all people.

But Josie had a feeling that she could handle the shock. Though...what about the rest of the Spenser students?

Although, Josie didn't want to think about that issue right then and there – all she could think about was the fact that Reid was actually kissing her, and this time she was sure it wasn't because of lust or horniness or anything. That he was doing it because he wanted to, because he felt that pull, that attraction like she did.

Josie was completely sure of it.

* * *

**Silent Knight: So, looks like loose ties are being tied, aren't they? :) Yes, ladies and gents, you guessed right - **_"I Caught Myself" _**has only about five chapters left for lying up loose ties before I end it forever and ever, though I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be writing a sequel to this that will be longer. Perhaps around twenty chapters, I believe. :) Let me know what you think, if I should write a sequel to this or if you'll be satisfied with this story being a stand-alone, because I don't mind the actual Rosie [Reid/Josie] story to be this and for me to write small drabbles and one-shots for the two of them. It's sort of you up to you guys.**

**Anywho - let me know what you think about this ending, and whether or not you liked it. And don't you just **love **it when Josie stands up for herself and grows a semi-back bone? :DD I know I do!**

**Silent Knight over and out!  
**


	12. Down to you

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

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**Silent Knight: So, I was sad to see I only got 2 reviews last chapter. :( And so why don't we start going crazy with the reviews, huh? After all – the end to this story is nigh. Four more chapter left, guys! So come on and start reviewing every chapter!**

**Let's see if we're able to reach 50, maybe even 60 or 70. :D What d'you say?**

**Anyways, onto the actual story – Reid and Josie are tip-toeing around each other still. And so let's see what happens next to change this fact, huh? Huge drama is coming next chapter, so after you're done reading this, send me a review. Let's see how pumped you guys can get for the next chapter!**

**Also, I know that this chapter is short, but please do bear with me. I'll try my best to make the next chapter as long as I possibly can without taking out all the drama and romance and suspense, alrighty? Alrighty.  
**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)

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**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 12: Down to you**

Things with Reid had changed since that day when Reid actually kissed Josie, with no alibi as to why he did so. That had been two days ago, and Reid and Josie...well, it's pretty complicated. Sure, Reid kisses her, flirts around with her, teases her, notices her more – but that's pretty much it. There was no, "Will you be my girlfriend?" or "I think I really like you, Josie." Nothing at all.

She keeps on passing it off as _"That's how Reid is – he doesn't really talk much about his feelings, but I'm sure that he thinks we're together, too." _But now-a-days she thinks that they aren't together. Now-a-days she starts feeling self-conscious all over again, thinking that maybe Reid doesn't really like her to the extent of being her boyfriend and her his girlfriend. Maybe he didn't want to have any commitments with her.

Josie knew that was awful of her to think – to doubt Reid in such a way, but what was she going to do if he never talked about their relationship freely to her? She knew that he was uncomfortable with such things – but that was a vital thing in a relationship. A very vital thing. And Josie just wanted to be with him in that way. She...she wanted him to be with her in that way – willingly, of course. If he didn't then she'd just have to accept friendship, which, if he said so, she'd accept with a broken heart _(But she was sure that over time it'd heal _–_ or maybe she'd just push that sadness, that broken-heartedness to the back of her mind and just try to ignore it)_.

But, for now, Josie would try her best to act like she didn't care, like it didn't matter to her. Though she wasn't exactly sure how long her facade would last, or how long it would take for Reid to either tell her how he feels or notice her facade. Maybe a few days, or a few months...or...or a few years.

For now, she would just shed the silent tears when she was alone, in bed, by herself, with nothing else to think of and with nothing else to feel.

For now, she'd act like Reid Garwin wasn't breaking her heart into pieces.

* * *

_Another girl._

That was all Josie could think.

_Another girl._

He had another girl on his arm, with her fake blond hair – _which anyone could see was fake_ – and her thin, tinier-than-Josie's frame and her fake smile and her short uniform skirt and her too-tight uniform shirt and her too-tan body. Josie wanted to look away from the sight of that girl practically attached to Reid's side, of her whispering seductively into his ears, but she couldn't. She saw Reid's grin as he said something back to her, she was the way he'd touch her thighs when he thought no one was looking.

Finally, when a hand was placed on her shoulder, Josie looked away, her eyes coming into contact with Caleb's. He had a small, sympathetic smile on his face, and he squeezed her shoulder affectionately. It was not a secret that Reid and Josie had "hooked up" for a while, though no one but Kate and the Sons knew about it. They were the only ones she could turn to when she was put down by Reid and all the girls he hung out with. Most of the time she would find solace in Caleb and Kate, though Tyler and Pogue both tried to help ease the pain a bit. Josie wondered if she would ever be able to be with Reid, while they would argue that that was just how Reid was – he never expressed romantic feelings, whether or not he felt them.

But the brunette already knew this – and, quite frankly, she was sick and tired of waiting for him all the time, waiting for the moment he'd freely open up his heart to her, and keep it open for her forever.

Yet she still waited, no matter how tired she was of waiting. Even though she had no idea why she was waiting anymore – she was almost sure that Reid wasn't going to open up her any time soon, yet her heart told her to wait. Wait just a little bit longer, for a little while more. And then her heart would break again, into a smaller piece, and Josie wondered that, if her heart broke completely, what would she do then? Would she continue waiting? What would she do?

And silence was always the only answer she got back.

"Why don't you forget about him for a while, huh?" Caleb whispered to her, "Wanna play some Foosball with me?"

They were at Nicky's again, even though it was a Monday. For some reason the girl Reid was now trying to "win" was still wearing her Spenser uniform – maybe she thought guys liked the whole student fantasy and would fall for her quickly. Well, it sure was working for the blond Son. He was probably ready to take her back to the dorms. Josie closed her eyes and tried to will that thought away. It didn't work that good, but at least it was in the back of her mind now.

She nodded weakly, and allowed Caleb to haul her gently from her seat and towards a Foosball table.

Josie could feel Reid's icy blue eyes boring into her back, and, unfortunately for her, a tear slipped down one cheek. Quickly, before anyone could notice it, she wiped it away, and began to walk towards Caleb and the Foosball table.

"You ready?" He asked her with that deep voice of his. _No_, she wanted to say, but she said quite the opposite.

Let the games begin...

* * *

"Do you mind if I go to the washroom, Caleb?" Josie asked him after a short while. He was in the lead; 2 - 0.

He grinned at her. "Sure, but come quick. I wanna beat you some more." She gave him a small laugh – wondering in the back of her mind whether or not it was real, for she had no idea – and began walking towards the washrooms, making sure not to look at Reid and the blond girl he was currently with. Running a hand through her hair, she was about to push open the door to the girls washroom when a hand stopped her, clamping down on her arm and forcefully turning her around. Her brown eyes met those of Reid's, and inwardly she groaned.

"Yes, Reid?" She asked him tiredly – she was in no mood to talk to him, but she knew that he was certainly in the mood to talk to her, by the way he was harshly glaring at her.

"What do you think you're doing with Caleb?" Reid asked her, a slight growl in his voice when he whipped his eyes over at Caleb, who was rotating the small plastic ball around and around his fingers, a bored look on his face as he waited for Josie to come back from the washroom.

Josie sighed. When was he _not _jealous? "Reid, we're just playing Foosball. What do you _think _we're doing?" She had no idea where the bravado came from, but the surprise that coloured Reid's face was definitely worth it. Though why was he getting so worked up anyway? All Josie and Caleb were doing was playing a friendly game of Foosball, but Reid's acting like he caught them kissing or making out or something like that. And so what if they had been doing that? Reid had...well, sex with every girl who he deemed hot, so why was he freaking out?

Ugh. Men. They were more confusing than they thought they were.

"Nothing." He growled, then let go of her arm and stalked back towards the blond girl from before. The blond girl gave Josie a glare when she saw her gaze on her, then gave Reid a flirty smile when he yanked her up from her chair. They walked towards the dance floor when a fast song came on and began grinding against one another, Reid staring at Josie as he made out with the blond skank.

The brunette ran a hand through her hair before turning around, about to push open the door to the washroom when she stopped.

She didn't feel like going in there anymore. With a small sigh, she turned back around – making sure not to look at Reid and the girl he was grinding against – and walking back towards Caleb, who looked up a gave her a warm smile when he noticed her there.

"Well you came back quick. So eager to lose, huh?" He asked teasingly, placing the small plastic ball back onto the Foosball table, getting ready to start playing again.

She gave him a small smile. "Oh you have no idea, Caleb."

And they played once more – and once more Josie lost towards him. It seemed to her that she was losing a lot these days.

* * *

"Hey – Josie! Wait up!"

Josie turned around to see Derek walking towards her, a bright smile littering his face. She smiled back at him, though she wondered why she had never seen him around at Spenser until now. Where was he hiding all the time? Maybe it was the fact that so much drama had occurred in her life, and it seemed to only be getting worse and worse, which made her busier than usual.

"Hey Derek." She said to him softly when he was beside her, and together, they began walking towards the cafeteria.

He turned to look at her. "You know, I noticed you in class today." He said, almost in a quiet whisper, as if he was sharing a secret that he had never told anyone to her. She turned to look briefly at him, smiling.

"Oh really? Which class?"

"AP English." Josie raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"What? How come I never noticed you in AP English?" She asked, though she knew that he had no idea.

Derek shrugged his shoulders at her. "I dunno. Maybe because I'm pretty much in the back corner. No one ever notices me there." Josie rubbed the back of her head, a bit ashamed that she had never noticed him. She was sure she remembered every face in AP English – did she forget him or something? Had her life been so hectic that she was slowly forgetting the names and faces of her peers? Perhaps this was how it was like for Kate and the Sons on a daily basis.

"Yeah. Maybe. Anyway, it's great to see you again. How are you?" Josie asked, thanking him softly when he opened the door to the cafeteria for her.

She entered silently, then began walking when Derek was back at her side. They started walking towards the lunch line – which, thankfully, wasn't too long right at that moment.

"I'm good. How about you, Josie? How are you?"

Josie shrugged her shoulders at that, though she knew exactly how she was – sad and miserable. "I'm good too, I guess." An uncomfortable silence filtered over them then, and they grabbed lunch trays and waited in line, chatting a bit about AP English and a bit about the stories they were working on for the class. Derek's story was in the medieval times – about a knight who was protrayed as a traitor when he rescued the daughter of his King's rival. It had a bit of romance in it, which surprised Josie a bit, though it seemed to be a good story.

"What's your story about?"

"My story's about a princess who lives in a tall tower protected by a dragon – kind of like Sleeping Beauty, though the prince who tries to rescue her is a master at witchcraft. He rescues her with a true love's kiss, but he isn't in love with her, so when she tells him about the kiss and how only her soul mate can wake her up from the deep sleep and allow her to speak again. It's basically about them and their later struggles. I'm not sure if I want the prince to fall in her love with her or not." That was a lie. The story was completely different from what she had told him, for the story she was yammering about to him was the dream – or nightmare, really – that she had had a long time ago. She had meant to tell him the actual story she was working on, but before she knew it her mouth displayed to him the dream/nightmare instead. Josie rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly.

Derek nodded thoughtfully. "Hm, that sounds interesting. You gotta let me read it later, okay?" She gave him a smile, and nodded.

After chatting some more and getting lunch, they walked towards the table that the Sons and Kate had yet to occupy. Derek said he had to go to the library soon, but he wanted to talk to her some more, and that he had been hungry since the morning as well. Josie asked him what he wanted to say to her, for it was easy to tell he wanted to say – ask? – something.

Derek clearing his throat, a small blush settling over his cheeks, which surprised Josie. "I...I was wondering if you wanted to, you know...go out...this Friday? With me? To a restaurant, maybe?" Josie's heart fell, for she didn't want to tell him no. But neither did she want to tell him yes. Whether Reid knew it or not, her heart belonged with him, not Derek.

Josie crossed her ankles, then shyly looked up at him. "I-...I'm so sorry, Derek, but...but...I can't," He nodded, and was about to get up when she put her hand on his arm, stopping him, "...but...you need to know why..." It felt so good, telling someone other than Kate or the Sons about her dilemma with Reid, and how it seemed like he didn't care about her anymore, how it seemed like maybe he didn't like her as much as she liked him. She told Derek all about her insecurities, all about the girls that Reid" hung out" with time to time. She told Derek that Reid still kissed her, still noticed her, still held conversations with her – but he never talked to her about what they were, relationship-wise. Derek nodded and listened, asked questions and helped.

It felt like there was a huge load that suddenly got off of her chest, off of her shoulders, that stopped pinning her down helplessly.

Derek sighed loudly when she finally finished. "Well Josie, I have an idea, but I'm not sure if you want to hear it or not." He told her, seeming a bit nervous.

Josie urged him to continue.

"...I have a way to not only make him as jealous and as miserable as you always feel, but also to get him to admit his feelings for you..." And then he told her his plan. Josie's eyes widened as she listened, and, when he asked her what he thought of it, she declined. But with a small coaxing words from Derek, she finally relented and accepted his proposition fully.

"Well, I should get going now, Josie. The Sons and Kate are coming over," Josie looked up and saw the five of them with lunch trays in their hands, looking at her and Derek, confused, "See you Friday then, alright?"

Josie nodded. "Yeah. Alright. See you Friday, Derek." And, grabbing his lunch tray, he stood up, disposed of it, then left the cafeteria, off to the library.

Kate sat down next to her, her mouth open, but she seemed to be elated. "Josie, was that guy asking you out just now?" The Sons Of Ipswich then sat down – three of them looking curious, while one of them looked livid. Of course, the livid was, without a doubt, the notorious Reid Garwin, bad boy extraordinaire. Josie ran the plan over and over in her mind, then finally answered her friend.

"Yes."

"And? Did you say yes to him?" Reid looked about ready to implode – or even explode.

"Yes." Kate let out a squeal, and Reid, angry, got up and, without even touching his lunch tray, left the cafeteria. The four of them watched him stalk away, shoulders hunched, posture weak.

Pogue turned around, grinning at his friends. "What's up with him?" Of course, everyone already knew what was up with him, and even Pogue knew what it was. It wasn't hard to tell, after all. Reid was jealous. Everything was currently going as planned – though no one but Josie knew this little fact.

Josie shrugged, picking up a soggy fry and biting into it. "Beats me." And the four of them exchanged smiles.

Let the _real _game begin.

* * *

**Silent Knight: Ooh, a bit of a cliffhanger, huh? ;)**

**So let me know how excited you are for the next drama-filled chapter. Let's see how happy/sad you are to know that this story is slowly coming to a close. Keep the reviews comin', people! Let's see how many reviews we can have for this story! Spread the news of this story around, folks – well, if you like this story, I guess. lol**

**Until next time.**

**Silent Knight over and out!  
**


	13. I'm saying something that I should have

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

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**Silent Knight: Okay, my peeps – here's the much-anticipated thirteenth chappy. :) Thanks so much for all of your support and reviews, they really meant a lot to me and I smiled as I read them.**

**51 reviews...wow. Just, just **wow**. I've never gotten these many before. It's very over-whelming and I feel so much happiness and pride for having come this far with a story with a solid plot for once. Sure, the plot is more romanticy than supernatural, but the sequel for this – yup! It's official now;** _"I Caught Myself"_ **will be having a sequel! CELEBRATE! – will be very dark and will have a lot more supernatural, but there will be more romanticy-ness as well, so don't fret.**

**So, enjoy this next chapter...won't you?**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)

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**

**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 13: I'm saying something that I should have never thought**

"I know. I know what you are, Reid." It came out so quickly, even she herself was surprised she said it. Her eyes widened at the exact time Reid's did, and her blood instantly ran cold as she comprehended, realized what she had said to him. About the secret she had learned – about the powers that the Sons Of Ipswich possessed. And she had spilled it to one of them out of nervousness and awkwardness.

Yes. She sucked at keeping secrets from everyone. She sucked at being an oblivious girl.

And that was what was going to get her killed now.

* * *

_Let's go back, shall we?_

_Before she had said what she shouldn't have said. What she shouldn't have thought. What she should've suppressed and pushed to the back of her mind. But, of course, because she suppressed it, that was why it was came out so suddenly that even she didn't realize that she had actually said it aloud._

_Let's go back – before the encounter with Reid, before the date, before getting into the car with Derek, before getting ready for the date. Let's go back to today._

_Today. The day. Friday; the date._

_The day and the date that would change Josie's life forever _– _like that secret she had kept for so long from everyone, most importantly Kate and the Sons, had changed her life. Like how the History project and Reid happening to be her partner changed her life forever._

_Like how she had realized that nothing...nothing would ever be the same again...

* * *

_

Today was the day. Today was Friday.

And today just might be the day that Reid, overwhelmed by jealousy, would tell her how he truly felt about her.

Josie's nerves were haywire – spewing this way and that, and in that shakiness she realized that they were going to a fancy _restaurant_, her and Derek. And she had absolutely no nice "fancy restaurant" dress to wear. She had no idea what to do then, and nervous, feeling like a complete and utter idiot, she did the one thing that she thought that she'd never in a million years do.

She decided to call Kate and beg her to loan her one of her dresses.

Just thinking about what kinds of dresses her mocha-skinned friend – _still weird to think, by the way! _– gave her shivers, but she knew that, at that point, absolutely anything would do. Nevertheless, her fingers still trembled as she dialed Kate's familiar number. She pressed her cell phone to her ear, and waited patiently, wiggling about on her bed, shocked at what she was going to do. What she was actually going to ask Kate.

It rang once.

It rang twice.

It rang thrice.

Then, someone picked up.

"Hello?" Came Kate's voice, which seemed to be fogged a bit with sleep. Though the Sons and Kate went to Nicky's every weekend, they weren't going this Friday. They were going on Saturday. Needless to say, it shocked Josie to know that they never went to Nicky's every Friday, like rumors said they did. Other said that, at times, they didn't go, they had a huge orgy in Tyler and Reid's dorm room.

Though she knew that the second rumor was pretty much a lie – except for the "they-don't-always-go-to-Nicky's" part – she did believe for a long time that the first was the complete truth.

Kate had practically laughed in her face when she confessed this.

"Hello? Kate? Do you mind if I ask you for something?" A small silence settled over the line as she wondered what was going on the other line. Was Pogue there, with her? Had she interrupted something once more?

"What is it?" Kate's sleepy voice finally said, and she yawned afterwards.

Josie felt bad, then, but decided to push that guilt away for the time being. "Uhm, I'm going out with Derek today and I just realized that –"

"– you don't have a dress?" Kate interrupted. There was no sleepiness in her voice anymore, and dare she say, Kate actually seemed to sound a bit...giddy. A deep pit formed in Josie's stomach. She had a bad feeling about this - a really, really bad one. She wanted to deny what Kate had asked and wanted to close the phone on her, but she needed her help badly.

Reid had to see that she was pretty – that she wasn't some plain girl, though she was. Hopefully, with enough make-up and a beautiful dress from Kate, perhaps she could set that illusion for him. So, she sighed heavily.

"...yes."

"I'll be there." Came Kate's quick response, and she closed her phone on him. Josie fell backwards onto her bed, her eyes tightly closed. Another loud sigh left her lips as she listened to the dial tone. _I seriously hope that I didn't make a mistake, asking help from Kate_, Josie thought to herself desperately.

She closed her cell phone, and – for what seemed to be the first time in a long time – impatiently waited.

* * *

There was a knock on the door.

Sighing happily, Josie jumped up from the bed, shaking the feeling back into her legs, and dashed towards the door, throwing it open. For some weird reason, she thought that it wouldn't be Kate at the end of the door, that it'd be Reid, and he'd tell her how much he liked her and was jealous of Derek and didn't want her going on a date with him, ever. Because he wanted her all for himself. Because he liked her, and he wanted to be his girlfriend. And she'd tell him that, yes, she wanted to be his girlfriend. She wanted him to be her boyfriend. And then they'd have that one, steamy, epic kiss that couples always have in the movies, and all would be alright.

But, of course, it wasn't Reid at the end of the door. It was Kate, holding many brightly coloured dresses and had a large smile etched on her face. Josie's spirits plumeted, though, nevertheless, she stepped a bit away and allowed Kate entrance. She power walked in and threw the dresses onto Josie's bed, then placed her hands on her hips, let out a breath and turned around to face the brunette, looking quite like a beautiful heroine. Josie, disheartened, looked down at her loose flannel pajamas and shook her head to herself.

There was no way she'd look as good as Kate. Ever. Or any other beautiful, sexy girls from Spenser Academy, really.

Her hips were too wide, her breasts too small, her body too tiny and her stomach too fat. Every girl laughed and giggled now that she was being more and more noticed and brought into the spotlight – pointing at her faults, pointing out all the things that made her different from the others. Josie tried her best to keep her head down and ignore the comments, but they always chipped at her mental armour. She was waiting for the day those words would break through.

_Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me...what treacherous lies...but I should've known that that was false – after all, daddy and mommy dearest sure did drill that into my brain, _Josie's bitter side finally muttered, seeming to have come out of hibernation. She closed her eyes, letting out a mental sigh. Now it decided to sure its ugly face...

"Hey – Josie? You alright, honey?"

_Does it _look _like I'm alright, Tunney? Does it?_

"Yeah...I-I'm g-good. So...let's see these dresses, huh?"

Kate gave her a blissful smile, then began to prattle on and on about how she had chosen them – which ones matched her eyes, hugged her every curve, went good with her skin, contrasted perfectly with her hair, showcased her "long" legs, pushed up her...well, breasts. Josie's bitter side spoke up from deep within it's broken cage, but stayed relatively silent as she stammered and blushed at everything Kate explained about her...well-endowed body parts and how the dresses would show – or improve – them.

Finally, after trying out all of the dresses, Kate picked one that even Josie had to say looked good on her. It made her look and feel like a princess, made her look as exotic as Kate but also as beautiful as Snow White.

It was a deep red with black lace trimming the edges, a sleeveless dress with clear straps that held it over her chest and fit snugly against her upper body and flared when reaching her wide hips, making them look much smaller by hiding them perfectly. Her breasts with pushed out thanks to the black corset that was stitched onto the chest, and made her stomach look skinnier. On Kate, it would no doubt come to her thighs, something that would disturb Josie, but since Josie was smaller and tinnier, it ended at her knees and since the corset was adjustable, made the dress look like a perfect fit on her.

All in all, it made the imperfect things about Josie look perfect, and this was why Josie loved the dress so much.

Kate, standing back a bit, looked her up and down. Then she frowned, making Josie do the same. Leaning over, she pulled the dress up a bit and pushed out Josie's breasts some more, making the girl blush when Kate accidentally squeezed them while doing so. She let out a small cough at that, looking away uncomfortably. It seemed that the mocha-skinned girl didn't notice, thankfully.

Kate stepped back again, scrutinizing once more. Finally, she let a smile cover her lips. With a nod, she dragged Josie towards her mirror and planted her down firmly in front of it.

"Since I knew you didn't have many cosmetics, I brought a few of my own..." Grabbing the purse that Josie hadn't seen when she had walked in, Kate zipped it open, turned it upside down and the cosmetic supplies all tumbled out and fell onto her dresser table, scattering about. Josie reached out quickly and saved one of the lip-glosses that tumbled out and almost fell off of the dresser.

Her friend immediately shooed her hands away and began to tease her hair, ruffling it a bit and raking her fingers through it, the moistened strands – _Josie had remembered to take a quick shower, not wanting to stink while at the date _– falling through the gaps in her fingers easily. Grabbing a comb, she began to wound her hair up until all but a few strands were tied in a messy-but-sexy bun. Kate grabbed a pair of scissors off of the dresser and easily snipped the strands of hair that she had let purposely loose over Josie's eyes. Josie gasped as she watched the strands fall into her lap, unable to believe what had just happened.

"Oh calm down, Jose – you look hotter now. Look!" And she did. Gasping once more, she ran her four fingers through her newly-cut bangs, and realized that Kate was _right_ – it made her look really nice. Really, really nice. She gave her a shy smile, staring into her reflection's eyes in gratitude.

Kate waved an un-caring hand at her. "No need for your thanks, hun – I'm thinking about becoming a fashion designer. Consider it as practice for me, alright?" Josie nodded, still too happy to say much. It was hard to believe that a simple little snip and a gorgeous would make her look so...nice. Beautiful. Sexy. Like all the girls look at Spenser – like how she had secretly wanted to look like, but didn't want to wear all those short skirts and tight tops.

After putting on some eyeliner, mascara, blush and cookies&cream scented lip-gloss _(Which smelled like absolute heaven _–_ Josie had assured Kate this when she grabbed it from inside a dresser drawer to put on)_, Josie looked like a pampered princess going off to a ball filled with royalty and that one Prince Charming. Of course, the Prince Charming was Reid

_(_Reid...kissing...prince...fairy tale_; those same thoughts from before came back like a distant memory to her then)_

and Derek was the Lord helping her from getting him to admit his feelings for her, for him to actually notice her and how nice and beautiful and hot and sexy she could look, much like all those Spenser girls he had..._hung out_ with.

Still, she still felt bad for _using _Derek this way – even though he had been the one to make up the plan. It was still using him, whether or not he wanted to be used. And she knew that, somehow, someway, Derek had actually started to like her – and she was no doubt breaking his heart, having him be the one who would help her with getting the one she wanted the most while he harbored feelings for her.

Josie hoped that they weren't strong ones – hoped that he would be able to move on to someone more beautiful, more talented and more in tune with him and his feelings.

Someone who truly deserved his heart and someone whose heart deserved to be kept with Derek, for Reid was already holding Josie's heart – and now Josie had to see if Reid was able to realize this and trust her with his heart in return.

Because he deserved it. Because he needed someone to be his and his only – because he didn't deserve to be _second best_, the only position Josie would be able to give him if Reid resisted her and Derek insisted upon giving her his heart afterwards. Not only for Derek and the safety of his heart, but also for her own selfish desires, she hoped that it wouldn't come to that.

"Ta-da!" Kate exclaimed, doing jazz hands, "You're all dolled up and ready for your fake-date!"

Josie didn't even ask her how she knew, for she had a distinct feeling that the girl had known more than she had let on before. Kate may seem like an airhead, much like the majority of the girls in Spenser, but she was smarter than anyone truly knew. Josie had figured that out a while back – but now she was a hundred percent sure that that was true.

She gave Kate's reflection a smile, and Kate's reflection gave her a smile back.

Yes.

Josie was definitely ready for the "fake-date," as Kate put it.

* * *

"He's following our car." Derek whispered – though it was obvious that Reid wouldn't be able to hear, unless he used his powers. Josie sincerely hoped he wasn't using them then – to her, eyes on the side-view mirror before he looked back at the road, taking a left turn into upcoming traffic. Josie's heart pounded nervously, her small fingernails digging into the leather seat of Derek's flashy red car – yes, Josie wasn't quite aware which type it was, for she wasn't much of a car-girl; if it looked nice, that was good enough for her – and let out a slow breath to calm her nerves. Slowly, her hands retreated, and she bunched them up and placed them on her lap instead.

Derek noticed her twisty hands from the corner of his eye and let out a breathy laugh. "Josie, it's all alright, okay? Don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine." He soothed. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be lulled by his hypnotic voice, and her tense muscles actually loosened considerably. She opened her eyes slowly, turned her head and gave him a thankful smile. He grinned back.

"Ah, here it is – the restaurant. It's the finest one here in Ipswich. I hope you'll enjoy it, Josie, even though this is a pretend date." That made her wince. Pretend date. Derek's obvious feelings that he had confessed to her. Ugh – she felt all that sadness and guilt come back, but she tried to push it away.

Success. It was gone in a blink of an eye, and she relaxed, seeming to melt even more into the seat. Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. She could do this, she could this – of course she could. Of course she could...

Oh who was she kidding? No she couldn't! But she had to try! For Reid. For herself. For selfishness that she had never experienced much before. It was time to be selfish, it was time to worry about herself and her relationship with Reid that had yet to be established and for what else was to happen.

Clicking off her seat belt, she opened her side of the car door and stepped out of Derek's car, feeling so much like a princess – so much like a celebrity coming out onto the red carpet – so much like she _belonged _somewhere, anywhere that was important – it almost brought tears to her eyes. It felt like she was home, like she was finally where she belonged – _though she didn't know how that feeling had come, seeing as how she was only standing in front of a nice, five star restaurant._

Perhaps it was because this date, this restaurant were the vital keys needed to change her life – for it was almost time for Reid to admit his feelings for her. It was almost time for her dream to come true – not that prince-prince nightmare, but the dream that she had always day-dreamed, staring into that _exact same spot _on the back of Reid's head for years and years – when he would stroke her cheek, lean in and seal their love with a gentle, legendary, beautiful kiss. That would bring their perfect fairy tale to a complete close.

She was ready for that kiss now.

She was ready for that life with Reid now.

She was ready for _Reid himself _now.

No...she was ready for anything now.

Derek grabbed her hand and tucked it into his arm, smiled at her, she smiled back, and they walked into the restaurant, meeting up with the handsome waiter who directly them immediately to their seats and handed them their menus.

"Reid's gotten in." Derek whispered to her.

"He's talking a bit to the waiter...handing him what seems to be a few notes...he's directing him to a table...Reid seems to be refusing...he's pointing at the table two tables away from us...giving the waiter another note...they're heading this way..." Derek averted his eyes then, plastering on a fake mask, and leaned over and kissed Josie on her cheek; once again guilt squirmed and grew in her tummy, "...he looks pissed..." He chuckled then, "...ah...he's sitting down..._aaaannnnd_...now he's staring at us." Derek looked away once more, and asked Josie a few questions about school and how her life was going and how it was like with the Sons and Kate. Keeping up with the pretense that Derek had crafted so carefully, Josie asked about Derek's life and his family and if he had any friends.

Derek looked up suddenly, frowning. "What the heck..." He mumbled lowly.

Josie furrowed her eyebrows. "What? What is it, Derek? What's going on?" She wanted to turn around and see for herself, but she knew that it would no doubt give them both away and the plan would be ruined.

"Reid's getting up...Reid's...– Reid's leaving, Josie." And just like that, her heart – and their plan – crashed and burned. It seemed like the plan hadn't worked so well after all.

Sure, Reid was jealous and fuming – but he hadn't come up to her, hadn't said anything about his true feelings to her, hadn't asked her to become his girlfriend and him her boyfriend, hadn't given her the kiss she so desperately wanted for so long. Her head whipped around just in time to see Reid smack open the doors to the restaurant, shove his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and stroll off into the night, no doubt heading for Tyler's Hummer that was parked right within range of the transparent restaurant doors. Her stomach dropped, and she didn't think that she felt like eating anymore – although, thankfully, they had made small talk over some food, so she wouldn't be going home with an empty stomach, whether or not she was hungry.

Derek gently rested his hand on top of hers. "Come on – don't lose faith now. You never know, he might confront you tomorrow or the day after that or the day after that or the day after that." She let out a small giggle for his benefit, just so he'd feel better, and then he let out a small chuckle, too. It sounded way more real than her fake one – and more deep, too. Josie realized that she liked the sound, for it sounded so much like Reid's laugh...

...and immediately she felt like kicking herself – not only for thinking of Reid, but for actually comparing Derek's laugh with Reid's. How disgusting could she be? No – there was no way Derek would be a replacement for Reid if he didn't want her. She had to be strong, and if he asked for her to have his heart, she'd have to respectfully and gently decline – because Derek didn't deserve second best. He didn't deserve to be a mere replacement. He deserved love from a girl who loved him for him, for what he was and what he would forever be.

And she knew that that girl would never be Josie Wesley.

Whether it was crushed or not, Reid still had her heart, and she was pretty sure that he forever would. Nobody could take away her heart from him – it was his property now, even though it was painfully obvious that he had no intention of having it or keeping it.

But Josie didn't mind. If he would have it with him, oblivious or not, was fine with her. It was good enough.

Well, as good as it would possibly get for Josie, anyway. It turned out that Josie Wesley wasn't the One for Reid Garwin – _even though Reid Garwin was most definitely the One for Josie Wesley_ – and that, in the future, he would find his one and true love, while she could only stare dejectedly out the huge tower window and stare hopelessly at his castle, looking away only when her fear of heights would be too much to bear or her heartbreak was too much to bear.

Or maybe even when her heart would stop beating. That was yet another possibility.

* * *

The ride back to Spenser was a quiet affair.

Neither party spoke much – Josie because all she could think about was Reid _leaving _without coming up to her or trying to win the affection that he never even realized he had, and Derek no doubt because he respected her and wanted to give her as much space as she needed, even if he might be giving her _too much _space, if there was even such a thing.

When they made it to Spenser, Josie, with numb fingers, clicked off her seat belt, reached out then to open the car door –

Derek reached over and placed his hand on her hand, the one that was about to open the door, and looked down at her, searching for her eyes, waiting for them to meet with his. Ever the coward, Josie looked down only at their joined hands. Derek let his fingers curl into hers, clutching the cold hand tightly in his warm one, not relenting. Josie immediately wished for him to give her more space than needed, but she knew that that wish wasn't going to be granted any time soon.

"Josie...I know I shouldn't say anything like this, but...if Reid...if Reid doesn't say anything, then – then just know that...I'll be there for you. Whenever, wherever. Always." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, then reached over, lips hovering an inch over hers. Josie closed her eyes tightly, bracing herself for the contact, wincing –

His lips stopped hovering over hers and instead pecked her cheek, staying there longer than needed before he finally leaned away, giving her her personal space. His hand fell away from hers, and she turned her face away, whole body – especially the cheek he had just pecked – number than before, and opened the car door, and got out from the car. Since Derek lived at his apartment – much like Pogue – he drove away, leaving her standing there like a stone statue, hands clasped together, shoulders hunched, long bangs hiding her eyes which were watering.

Sighing, Josie turned –

Only to come face to face with an angry-looking Reid Garwin.

"Hello Josie," He muttered darkly, frowning, "Goin' somewhere? Oh, wait, I'm sorry – coming _back _from somewhere?"

* * *

After a long argument, curse words, accusations, assumptions, anger-filled faces and a slap, they were breathing heavily, glaring each other down. Nervousness and awkwardness filled up inside of her, and she wanted to curl up into a ball and die after she realized the sharp sting her hand felt – and then came to the conclusion that the sound that had seemed to have come out of nowhere was the sound to flesh-against-flesh, of her hand coming into contact with Reid's cheek. That was why it was throbbing. She had slapped Reid Garwin – the most dangerous of the Sons Of Ipswich, the most dangerous of the witches, wizards, sorcerers – whatever the hell they were or whatever the hell they called their powers.

And then, it had tumbled out of her mouth, almost like melting honey – messy and sticky, unable to scrub away, really –

"I know. I know what you are, Reid."

Reid's surprised face was enough for her to know what she had said to him – that she had given away the secret of knowing the Sons' deepest, most darkest secret. The one that they would no doubt _kill_ to keep hidden, under wraps.

Oh shit.

She was _so screwed_ now.

* * *

**Silent Knight: Yup! That's right! I gave you guys a cliffie! You guys REALLY hate me right now, don't you? Anyways, make some predictions, review a lot since this is coming to a close to show how much you care and love Josie and Reid and Rosie [Reid/Josie].**

**With this story coming to a close, I'm getting very hyper and I want to add a lot of drama, as well as tie up some loose threads to satisfy you readers. :) And guess what? Only three more chapters left of ICM! ^.^**

**Review, please! It'd certainly make me happy and get me even more excited about writing the next chapter for you all!**

**Silent Knight over and out!  
**


	14. But I know in my heart it's not you

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

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**Silent Knight: Here it is dudes and dudettes: the next chapter. The one you've all been waiting for. Now, in the next chapter - one that I'm going to finish tomorrow; YAY! - Josie will make her decision - whether she wants Reid...or Derek. Who will it be? Only** I** know. ;) And...maybe you have your suspicions as well, so, let me know who you think Josie will choose: Reid or Derek? I'm very curious to know.**

**Anyhow, only two chapters left now! Chapter 15 and then the Epilogue and this baby will actually be **complete**. Can you believe it? Or I can't!**

**Enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)

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**

**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 14: But I know in my heart it's not you**

Her heart thumped irregularly in her chest as Reid stared wide-eyed at her, mouth agape. But he seemed to snap out of it, for he closed his eyes, and when he opened them, seemed calm and composed, something that shocked Josie.

What was he going to do? ..._kill_ her? Sure – she was sure that he held some sort of romantic feelings for her, but didn't the secrecy of their powers hold high above romantic feelings _(Though Josie wondered how Kate had managed to live after knowing their secret _–_ perhaps Pogue had fallen too in love with her before she had found out or something)_? Or perhaps he felt so strongly that he was willing to go against Caleb, Pogue and Tyler? No...no, Josie didn't think so. They'd known one another for far too long to stab each other in the back.

No. He was going to kill her. Reid was going to kill Josie.

"...what do you mean, Josie?" He asked in a calm tone, as if he didn't already know.

Josie sighed heavily. Well, if she was going to die, then she sure wasn't going to try and save herself, knowing that she had no chance already. Whatever – it didn't matter anymore. She was going to die, and there was nothing else she could do about it.

"I think you already know, Reid. I know about you and Caleb and Pogue and Tyler. I know about your weird powers – that you're witches, wizards, warlocks, whatever the hell you guys call yourselves. I _know_. A while back, I saw you and Caleb fighting, and then you tried your powers on Caleb to hurt him and he did the same to you – you getting more of the damage for Caleb's stronger than you." Anger ignited in his eyes then, his posture stiff.

And Josie closed her eyes, waiting for the end.

Instead, though, Reid spoke.

_"Caleb is _not _stronger than me, Josie." _He growled through clenched teeth. Josie opened her eyes to roll them. Of course – someone finds out his secret and that's his response. Typical Reid Garwin; so wounded by knowing that Caleb is better at him in what seems to be everything but douchebaggery.

Reid saw her roll her eyes, which made him growl in the back of his throat – which sounded oddly sexy, but scary at the same time.

But he didn't say anything still, and a silence swept over the two of them.

With a small sigh, Josie looked away when Reid didn't do anything – didn't make a move to finally kill her after this rather stupid confrontation. "...well?" She said then. It was weird, being impatient about dying, but hey – she wanted it to be over nice and quick. So quick that she wouldn't even know that he had killed her. It was a better way to die than slow torture – what he was kind of giving her, by not killing her and instead having all the fear of dying creep up on her. It was cliched, but Josie knew that she was too young to die, for there were so many things she had yet to achieve in life.

Like making it into Harvard, for example. Something she had dreamed of the day she had turned ten. Of course, at the time, her parents had smiled and told her that she would be achieve said goal, but now she had known that they didn't actually believe that she'd be able to do so. She knew that they no doubt thought that she wasn't smart, therefore there was no Harvard in the future for her.

And, well, it seemed like they were half-right. There certainly _was _no Harvard in the future for her.

For Josie, she was going to die in the Spenser Academy parking lot, and _still _had her big "V" not taken yet from her. How terribly sad and...well, ironic, really. Prude Jude _("Prude Josie" never rhymed so people had dubbed her "Jude" for "Prude Jude" rhymed much more efficiently - stupid, no?)_ dying before the so-called _"prudeness"_ had been stripped from her.

"Well what?" Reid actually seemed to be surprised – it seemed like he was a better actor than Josie had obviously thought. _Of course _Reid was the type of guy who liked to kill people after annoying the fuck out of them.

"Aren't you going to kill me now that I know about your guys' huge secret? To keep me quiet an' all?" Josie said, irritated now.

Reid stared at her in silence for a few moments – just staring, nothing else. As if he was watching television or something, which made her frown at him. And then, finally, she got a reaction out of him. Although, it wasn't the reaction she was thinking she'd get out of him.

Instead of smirking or saying something diabolical and killing her, he laughed. Loud and hard, clutching his abdomen, tears _literally _streaming down his face. He lost his balance as he staggered back, still laughing, but managed not to trip and fall on his behind. This continued for quite a long time, really – with Reid laughing like an idiot and Josie glaring at him, waiting for him to finally stop laughing and kill her.

But he did no such thing. No.

He started talking, the piece of idiot! No doubt to taunt her a bit before he would kill her. Maybe snap her neck with a twist of his hand or something even more brutal than that, something more _creative_, you could say.

"Really, Josie? You thought that I'd – _wow_. You certainly don't know me as well as you think you do, huh?" He let out a chuckle before continuing, "Why the heck would I kill you? Kate knows and trusts you, Caleb knows and trusts you, Tyler knows and trusts you, Pogue knows and trusts you – heck, even _I_ know and trust you! Sure – I'm not glad that you found out – and Caleb will throw a fit and practically_ castrate _me when he finds out – but we won't fucking _kill_ you, Josie. I mean – _really? Kill you?_ That's going a bit too far, don't you think?"

Josie stood there like an idiot, staring down at her – well, Kate's – heels in silence, not sure what to say. Well, actually, too embarrassed, really.

Why did she think that Reid would kill her, anyway? Why did she think that Caleb or Tyler or even Pogue would do something like this? And like Kate would be glad or understand if Reid actually _did_ kill her – she'd no doubt be furious and want to kill all of the Sons, for Kate had previously told her that Josie had to be her bestest friend - for all the other girls she knew and was "friends" with only wanted to be closer to the _Sons Of Ipswich_, but since she was already close to Reid before meeting with her, that she had nothing to worry about and was relieved about that.

So she'd go berserk if anything were to happen to her because of Reid.

And suddenly Josie felt like an idiot, though she had a GPA high enough to even rival Caleb's.

When she, still embarrassed and blushing as heck, looked up, wondering what Reid was going to do next, she saw him pulling out his phone from his back pocket, punching in some numbers before placing the phone to his ear, gaze down on the asphalt below him. He waited for the person on the other line to pick up silently, and Josie watched on, too embarrassed to ask him who he was calling or why, in confusion.

"Hello, Caleb?"..."It's Josie. She knows."..."What do you mean "what does she know"? She _knows_. About _us_. As in the _Sons Of Ipswich and our "huge" secret _us."..."Hey! I didn't tell her! She found out by herself!"..._"No I'm not just saying that! She found out by herself!"_..."Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we will. Alright, fine. 'Kay. Bye."

Reid turned to her, mouth set in a grim frown. "Come with me. We're going to the Putnam barn."

"What? Why?" Josie asked then, furrowing her eyebrows.

"To kill you." Came his deadpanned response, which made her glare at him. He let out a snort before grabbing her from around the waist, and suddenly jerking her close. Josie squealed in surprise, making Reid chuckle low – which sounded _very _sexy, mind you – and suddenly his eyes turned black, like from before, and fire erupted in them, and Josie felt her head spin and they were gone.

* * *

Just a few seconds later she found herself in the creepy old Putnam barn, and face-to-face with Caleb, Pogue and Tyler. Caleb looked seriously and stiff – with his hair groomed and clean clothes on – while Pogue and Tyler looked more tired than anything – hair tousled with sleep, though they weren't wearing any pajamas or anything, but their clothes had various wrinkles on them. And Josie felt very overdressed, standing with all four boys wearing a dress while they were wearing jeans and t-shirts.

Oh how she wished that Reid had allowed her to go up to her dorm room and change or something.

"So you know." Pogue said thoughtfully, as if her finding about them having powers that they've been keeping from _the rest of the freakin' world _and having her find out about them wasn't a bad thing at all.

"Finally. Now we can stop being so damn cautious around you." Tyler replied then, smiling an adorable smile, but it got wiped off the second Caleb turned around to look at him. Josie gulped, wondering how Caleb, the so-called leader of the Sons Of Ipswich would have to say about her finding out about them and their huge secret. It seemed like he definitely didn't approve.

Caleb turned around, and the two of their gazes met. Josie immediately turned her eyes away from him, looking down at the floor, hands knotting nervously together as she fidgeted. She heard Pogue let out a husky chuckle at this, and that made her feel even more embarrassed than before. Did her nervousness stand out that much?

"Well, I guess I should say that I have a confession to make," The almighty leader said, pausing almost dramatically before continuing, "I knew that you saw us that day at Nicky's, when Reid and I were fighting. I heard you gasp and saw you before you closed the door and ran away, Josie."

There was a deathly silence after Caleb admitted this, as everyone paused, waiting for what Caleb had just said to finally register in their minds.

_"What?" _Shouted the rest of the Sons then.

Josie was too shocked and surprised to say anything.

Caleb nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't want the guys – namely, Reid – to do anything rash so I didn't say anything. I didn't want to Use" – yes, Use with a capital "U"; she could practically hear the capital when he said it – "On Josie, because I remembered you from the classes I had with you, and you didn't seem like the type of person to go around trying to convince people about use and our Powers." – Once more she heard the capital "P" in "Powers" – "Of course, the others knew that there had been someone there, and Pogue and Tyler both came up and talked to me about it – Reid was busy with God knows what to actually say anything, or so we presumed – and since, like I said previously, I didn't want to alarm them, I kept out the fact that I knew exactly who it was. And so, instead, I observed you; tried to see if you would try and tell someone. Now that it seems that you won't be telling anyone, none of us will erase your memories about you fnding out about our Powers, so you're in the clear, Josie."

Josie felt like she was high then, which was probably why this question came out from her lips, making her sound as dazed as she felt – "Like Kate?" Pogue, Reid and Tyler looked surprised, as if they hadn't thought that she knew that Kate was in on it as well, but Caleb didn't seem to be surprised at all.

He chuckled at her. "Yeah. Like Kate."

Finally the others snapped out of it – well, namely, Reid snapped out of it.

"You just assumed that I knew?" He shouted then, glaring at the rest of the Sons, "I didn't know a damn thing! I had no idea that you guys were looking at the door because someone had been there! Why the fuck wouldn't you guys say anything to me?" Josie flinched, turning around to look at him. The others looked as surprised as she felt.

Caleb glared back at him. "You never care about anything that happens, Reid. How the hell were we supposed to know you knew nothing?" He fired back at him, stepping towards him almost threateningly. Reid pushed Josie away – making her stumble for she was wearing heels, but she managed to catch herself on time – and got into Caleb's face then. Neither party said anything, only glared.

And then all Hell broke loose, almost suddenly.

Reid Used then, and Caleb skidded backwards, like he had done before, when Josie had first seen him and Reid fight. Caleb chuckled darkly, shaking his head at his "brother."

"You've tried this many times, Reid. And how many times have I told you? I'm skilled more than you'll ever hope to be. You can't inflict any damage on me – _but I can on you._" And then Caleb Used, and Reid was immediately blown back, hitting the wall of Putnam barn rather loudly, collapsing in a heap on the floor. Pogue and Tyler frowned – Pogue shouting at Caleb to stop and Tyler shouting at Reid to stop, but they made no move to stop them physically. No doubt they thought that Caleb or Reid – probably Reid, though – might hurt them rather than stop.

And then, the two stopped using their Powers.

Instead, they started throwing their fists in each other's faces, shouting obscenities at one another as they did so. Every now and then they'd Use, something that made sweat roll down Josie's back as she watched them, helpless.

But when blood started to actually get spilled – Reid's bottom lip busted open, Caleb got a head injury and his left temple start bleeding – Josie had enough, and she knew that if Pogue nor Tyler were going to stop these two monkeys from killing each other, then _someone _would definitely have to. And since there was no one else there but her, she knew that it could only be her.

So she did the most dumbest thing ever, and stepped between the two of them, one hand held up in front of each boy's chest, hovering almost close to actual contact.

At the exact moment Reid tried to Use to hurt Caleb.

And since she was standing in the middle, it was Josie who got the blow. Something invisible slammed into her, and her breath escaping her, she tumbled onto the floor, actually coughing up blood, hand clutched at her abdomen as pinpricks of pain shot up and down her spine.

_"Reid! What the hell?" _The other three Sons yelled then – Caleb and Pogue holding Reid off, though she was sure he wouldn't actually try and hurt her again while Tyler ran up to her, Using for some reason.

When his eyes returned to their regular soft blue, he turned around towards Caleb and Pogue. "There was no damage done. Just a blow to her stomach, like someone punched her there. Nothing else." He told them, and then she knew why he'd Used: to see if there had been anything other than a blow to her stomach that Reid had done to her – not that Reid would actually try and hurt Caleb badly. Whether or not they got into fights, Josie knew that Reid would never actually attempt to _kill _Caleb or even hospitalize him.

Even Reid wasn't that heartless – Josie didn't believe he could be. Not to his friends.

Not ever.

And then, suddenly, Reid vanished. Caleb and Pogue sighed heavily at that, giving each other soulful looks, before walking towards her and Tyler. With help from Pogue, she managed to get up on her own two feet, wobbling and almost falling again had it not been for him catching her from around the waist. Tyler came over and grabbed her then, and Pogue let go of her, hands still hovering just incase she fell once more.

Josie blushed lightly, not having people being so...considerate towards her. Normally, if she ever got hurt, it'd be herself who'd help her up or patch up the wound or look after herself. Always her, never someone else, so it was weird to have someone care for her for once.

_Really _weird. But it also felt nice – she felt a bit..._relieved_, you could say.

"Thanks, guys." She murmured softly, securing her hands on Tyler's shoulders, knees still wobbling a bit. She blushed harder when her hip collided against Tyler, and she got even _more red_, if possible, when he held her there, plastered against his side. She saw that even Tyler himself was a little red.

"Aw, she's blushing." Pogue taunted before chuckling, though it seemed just a bit forced, like he was trying to relieve the tension off of everyone – which was exactly what he was doing.

Caleb chuckled a bit too, then. "And so is Tyler." Tyler let out a strangled sound, and even Josie found herself chuckling, red still on her cheeks.

The four of them began walking out of Putnam barn, and Josie saw Tyler's Hummer and Pogue's motorcycle both there.

"I'll take Caleb home," Pogue said to Tyler, "You take Josie and yourself back to the dorms. And don't do anything I wouldn't do, okay?" Tyler and Josie both blushed, and Tyler shoved at Pogue, but didn't let his grip go off of Josie waist as he did so.

"Oh shut up, Pogue – what do you _not _do? 'Cause you certainly do Kate." This time Pogue was the one who blushed – just a tiny bit, but it was still there nevertheless. Josie let out a small chuckle, shaking her head at the three boys. They might be harboring a great secret, but they still were regular boys, just with powers that probably no one else had. Josie wanted to ask a bit of questions about them and their Powers and whatnot, but she decided to wait until later.

Caleb laughed aloud at that. "Dude! Not in front of the virgin!" And just like that, blush littered her cheeks again.

"I don't think Josie liked you calling her a virgin too much, man," Pogue said, actually leaning over and pinching Josie's cheek, "Look. She's blushing, but no doubt cursing you in her head."

"Damn straight." Josie mumbled, unable to stop herself. The boys burst into laughter then, and she found herself joining in as well, but winced after, clutching her stomach. Hopefully there was no bruise there, but she had a feeling that there would be when she'd wake up tomorrow in the morning. The laughter died quickly after that, and she hated the dreadful silence.

Finally, Caleb cleared his throat and spoke up. "Well, see you on Monday, Tyler, Josie." Pogue said the same then, Tyler and Josie mumbled pretty much the same thing back. The four awkwardly shuffled into their respected cars – well, bike for Pogue and Caleb. Pogue and Caleb shot off into the dark first, leaving Tyler and Josie alone in the Hummer.

After starting the Hummer up, they backed away from Putnam barn, speeding off towards Spenser Academy, and the silence hit them head-on. Josie absentmindedly ran a hand through her hair, looking down at her mud-filled heels – wincing as she did so, hoping that the mud would be easy to clean off – thinking about nothing in particular.

She thought about Derek, she thought about the fact that she actually thought the Sons would kill her, she thought about Kira and how she really wanted to beat the crap out of her – even though it wasn't right to. She thought about Reid and her once more weird feelings towards him – and that's when Josie realized that she was sort of..._scared _of him now. Of what he could do – of what he _had _done.

Sure, he hadn't purposely meant to do so, but he still scared her now. Frightened her.

Like she hadn't known what he had been fully capable of doing, that he was capable of hurting her until he had hurt her.

Tyler cleared his throat awkwardly, causing her to look up at him then, almost giving herself whiplash. "Yeah, Tyler?" She asked politely, fiddling about with her seat belt now. Whether it was out of boredom or nervousness or both, she'd never truly know.

He sighed heavily, looking down at his lap, at the road, out of the window next to him – anywhere but her, which kind of unnerved her a bit. He seemed as hesitant as she felt. "Look, Josie...Reid, he – well, he's not good with relationships, and he's not good bottling up his Power. And...the thing with our Power is that, if we Use, we age." This got her attention.

"Wait – _what_? You _age_? How much?" She asked, eyes wide with fear.

"Yes, we age. And I'm not exactly sure how much we age each time we Use, but we do age. It's kind of like the curse that comes with the Power. Reid...he's the worst out of us. Naturally. He likes Using, and it's pretty much addictive. Like when you start drinking or using drugs or smoking. He's addicted to Using, and when he Ascends when he's eighteen – he..." Tyler trailed off, silent.

Josie felt tears glistening in her eyes. "He might not make it." She whispered brokenly, finishing the sentence for him.

"Yeah. I guess it's really addictive, because there is never a day when he doesn't Use. And, well, Reid isn't good with relationships, and since he's Using so much and Ascending when he's eighteen," Tyler went quiet for a second again, just driving, flexing his hands on the wheel, "...Reid told me this one day when he was drunk and was stumbling into the dorm room. He collapsed onto the bed and just laid there, silently. I was kind of scared – for some reason I thought he might've been dead. But then he told me something – something he might've not told me had he not been drunk." Once more he stopped.

"What did he tell you?" Josie whispered softly, eyes unable to stray from the boy's face.

He looked down at his lap, almost like he was ashamed. "He –...he said that one of the...one of the reasons he's not close to anyone is...is because...because he thinks that, when it's his eighteenth birthday and he Ascends...he's...he's not going to make it. And he doesn't want us to grieve if he does. He...he doesn't want people to grieve, so he keeps them at a distance. It's also one of the reasons he...doesn't settle down with anyone. Namely, you.

"The next day, when he woke up, and he remembered...he promised me not to tell anyone. I promised, but I had to break it today, because you deserve to know. And...and I know you're starting to give up on him, Josie. I can feel it. And...and I saw it in your eyes today...at Putnam barn. I saw that defeat...I saw that fear. Ev-...everyone saw it, too. Reid saw it, too. I...I just want you to keep fighting...just keep fighting for him, Josie. You have to. You have to show him that...that he should...he should allow people to come close, to see the...the weaker side of him. He...j-just promise me, Josie. Please – _please_ promise me that you'll keep fighting until the end." Josie wasn't sure what "the end" meant, and didn't want to think what it could mean. Instead, she raised her eyes – which, when he had been speaking, averted to her lap – to see Tyler's clear blue eyes, staring at her for the first time since they had gotten into the Hummer, almost as if they were staring _through _her. They were wide, and they looked so innocent, and they were watery with years threatening to spill.

Josie opened her mouth, to promise, to promise that she would fight.

But then she closed it, unable to get her vocal strings to cooperate. She just...she wasn't sure if she was strong enough to fight for his love anymore. Josie was a weak person to start with, anyway. Reid's rejections and how he would always ignore her and the attraction between them – it only weakened her further.

She was no longer sure if she was strong enough to fight – to fight for him, to fight for his love yet _against him_ anymore.

And it seemed like Tyler understood, for he blinked a few times, and the watery-ness in his eyes vanished, and he turned back towards the road, turning to the right. He didn't say anything, but neither did she. An uncomfortable, sad, solemn silence swept over them, and Josie blinked rapidly, kind of like how Tyler had to blink away the tears, but nevertheless, one fell, sliding down her cheek.

Josie sighed and plastered one cheek against the window; looking outside and feeling hollow inside.

* * *

"Thanks for driving me back here, Tyler," Josie said sincerely, giving him a sad smile, "It was nice of you."

Tyler nodded at her, giving her a tiny smile back. "Don't mention it, Josie." He said softly, then leaned over and pecked her cheek. When he pulled away, Josie almost expected him to be blushing, but he wasn't. With one more tiny smile, he turned around and left her there, outside of her dorm room, standing alone and feeling alone as well.

Josie looked at the floor, at her – _Kate's_ – heels and the mud caked on them, then pulled her key out of the tiny purse in her hands, turned around and inserted the key –

"I have to say Wesley - you are one sly girl. Leaving with Derek, arriving with Tyler. A whore like Reid, huh? Must be rubbing off on you." Josie tensed, then turned around to see a smirking Kira standing there, the door to her dorm room wide open. The girl was wearing a revealing nightdress, hair tousled – almost like she had been with Aaron before coming out and seeing her arrive with Tyler.

The brunette sighed deeply. "Kira, I really don't have time for you. Please leave me alone." She was about to insert her key once more before Kira chuckled.

"What? Still sore from fucking Derek and Tyler? Or maybe you guys had a threesome? Gosh, I didn't know you were into kinky stuff like that, Wesley – _Baby Boy_ too, for that matter." She said, giving her a superior smirk. The jibe bounced right off of her, though. She was already emotionally drained – now she was unable to feel anything, having felt so many things already.

"Look Kira – you can go ahead and keep on "dissing" me or whatever it is you want to do, but I'm going to be inside trying to get some sleep. If you have any brain cells left, you'll give up trying to make me feel worse and try and get some as well. I have no time to waste on your petty insults – I'm getting sick of hearing them, and trust me, I no longer feel any hurt or pain or sadness from them. And so go ahead and keep on insulting me all you like, but it's getting _fucking _tiring and if I hear even one more, I seriously might lose it and sock you in the face – if there is a teacher there or no." With that done and said, Josie forcefully jabbed her key into the keyhole and opened the dorm room, closing it loudly behind her before leaning on it, taking deep breaths.

Her mind kept on repeating what had happened at Putnam barn and then the conversation she had with Tyler in his Hummer, and every action and every word echoed in her head, making her head ache.

Tears began to slip eventually, and she wiped them away hastily, stumbling over to her head and plopping down heavily. She kicked off the heels and got underneath the covers, too tired and emotionally drained to actually try and change into her pajamas. Tears fell and fell, and she continued to wipe them away. No sobs escaped her throat, but the pain was still there.

Finally, after some time, the tears stopped falling, and when she had wiped her face thoroughly with the heels of her palms, she closed her eyes and tried her very best to go to bed.

_"...one of the reasons he's not close to anyone is...because he thinks that, when it's his eighteenth birthday and he Ascends...he's not going to make it."_

_"...he doesn't want anyone to grieve..."_

_"...one of the reasons he...doesn't settle down with...you."_

_"...j-just promise me, Josie. Please – please promise that you'll keep fighting until the end."_

"Shut up...shut up, shut up, shut up...shut...up...shut...up..."

And then sleep came.

* * *

_So, there was this princess._

_She was stuck up this high tower, and was forced by an evil witch to stay mute and slumber peacefully. Only a true love's kiss could unbind the spell and have her speak again, and that would be when she would wake up as well. It seemed easy enough, but no one came to rescue the princess and give her a kiss, for no one really thought she was pretty and there was a dragon guarding the huge tower and the princess. He was a lazy dragon; with curly-hair red hair and a terrifying grin. Plus, there was no way to get in or out the tower, which made things even more harder._

_So, there was this handsome prince._

_He had no idea what was up in that tower, and he didn't care who it was, either. The surprising thing was that this handsome prince had a secret. He knew witchcraft, along with his four friends. One of his four friends had wedded, though, so his wife was then told the secret, which meant that there was yet another who knew of them. When his professor tells him about the girl in the tower, and explains that only the bravest of all princes could bypass the dragon and scale the tower, then give the slumbering, mute princess inside a kiss, the prince knew he had to try._

_He bypassed the sleeping dragon easily. He scaled the tower by using his wizardry. Now in the tower, he reached the bed that the princess was in, and taking a small breath, kissed her. Immediately, she woke. With a smile, she explained to him that they must be wed at once. The prince was surprised; he didn't want to marry her, he didn't even like her! He just loved challenges!_

_She explained that only a true love's kiss could awaken her from her slumber and the curse that the evil witch had given her _–_ making her a mute _–_ had been lifted as well because of the kiss._

_Shocked, the prince explained that he wanted nothing to do with her. He explained that he just loved challenges. Immediately the princess burst into tears. Unable to leave her there, sad and unhappy, all by her lonesome, he made a rash decision and grabbed her, Using to leave the high tower and appear just outside the castle. Explaining the situation to his friends and the princess, and confessing what had happened to his father, the King, the princess _–_ having no one to exactly call her own; her parents could care less about her and she was an only child _–_ was allowed to stay at the castle, though the prince wasn't exactly sure if he liked that._

_He didn't love her, and was sure he never would. And even if there was a slight chance he might be falling for her, then he'd just ignore her. That was exactly what he did._

_Stricken, the princess tried everything to have him love her, but nothing worked, and she found herself losing faith, even though one of the prince's friend tried to nudge her in the other direction. Unable to bear it, she allowed him to ignore her, and ignored him as well, her heart heavy._

_After his Powers got the better of him, the prince died. Filled with so much grief and guilt, she killed herself shortly after the funeral._

_And that was the end of their not-so-fairy tale.

* * *

_

The dream was pretty much the same as the one she had had before, but this one had a different, yet more darker, more tragic ending. Josie wasn't sure why – maybe it was her subconscious playing tricks on her, maybe it was just something random conjured up.

But there was one thing she was sure of, one other thing that changed within the story, dream, nightmare, fairy tale – whatever you wanted to call it; whatever it had been.

The prince. Josie had seen his face. And it wasn't Caleb. It wasn't Pogue. It wasn't Tyler. It wasn't Derek, either.

It was Reid...

* * *

**Silent Knight: Ugh! Finally this dumb girl finds out that Reid is actually the prince! I'm pretty sure that it should've been easy for her to know, but Josie is a stubborn girl who liked - at first - to believe that Reid did not like her the way she liked him. But now you can clearly see that she's having doubts about whether or not she should be with Reid, and so **perhaps **that's a hint that she's thinking about going with Derek, but do you think she will? *cue thinky face***

**So...how did you like this chapter? Enough drama and angsty-ness for ya? And did you like the Pogue/Caleb/Josie/Tyler friendship I added there, along with that bonus Tyler/Josie friendship and the **final** Josie/Kira bitch fight for this ICM? How was **that**, Josie earning the official back-bone that she will continue to have for a while? Didya like that? :D I hope you did, 'cause I enjoyed writing this chappy up!**

**Anywho. TWO chapters left! So C'MON people! Let's spike up the REVIEW METRE!**

**Silent Knight over and out!  
**


	15. Don't know what I want

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

* * *

_

**Silent Knight: My gosh guys – this is almost over! Gasp! :o One more chapter – the epilogue – and then ICM is all over, folks! Sad yet exciting.**

**So, this doesn't have much Reid/Josie, but it's more in the end, and this chapter is based around Josie and what she should do. And y'know, if I could ignore the lyrics for** _"I Caught Myself"_ (the song by Paramore)**, I would've called this chapter "Listen to your heart," because that will be used quite a lot in this particular chapter. Anywho, moving on. Since I have put quite a bit of Josie/Pogue and even a bit of Josie/Tyler** (the Hummer scene last chapter)**, I decided to have more of the beginning of this chapter be Josie/Caleb. A little bit of Josie/Derek is in this too, if any of you even** like** Derek. lol**

**You guys probably won't like the ending of this...and it may be a bit...well, unexpected, really, but this was how I wanted this chapter to end, how I wanted to happen with Reid and Josie. Plus...there is always the epilogue...and let's not forget the sequel. ;)**

**Enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.  
**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)

* * *

**

**I Caught Myself**

**Chapter 15: Don't know what I want**

To say that Josie was having trouble sleeping and staying awake all because of a stupid dream/nightmare/fairy tale/whatever wasn't exactly something that anyone would take seriously, but that was the truth.

It had been two days and Josie couldn't get a wink of sleep, therefore, in the mornings she'd always be close to napping as teachers droaned on and on about things that seemed to be entering one ear and exiting the other. Watching the back of Reid's head was even losing it's luster; Josie would almost close her eyes, but then blink them open again, and paying attention to either the teacher or Reid was hard.

And then came the whole _ignore-me-I-ignore-you _thing. Reid was ignoring Josie, so she was ignoring him - well acting like she was, anyway - while also ignoring Tyler, who was still trying to get her to come onto the "Team Reid" side while also ignoring Derek who wanted her to come on the "Team Derek" side while trying to get Kate to stop ignoring her. And the only real reason Kate was ignoring her was because of all the mud that was impossible to remove from under Kate's precious heels, and when Josie had given to her like that, Kate had blown up, unable to believe her eyes. So Kate didn't want to listen to the reason why the heck they were that way, and was only ignoring Josie, much to her annoyance.

She needed a so-called "gal pal" to tell her what was going on in her life, to try and have her help sort out the mess her life had become, but with the only gal pal – i.e. Kate Tunney – ignoring her because of some damn heels, Josie was seriously losing it.

And since Josie was losing it, who else would she talk about her life with but...

_...Caleb?_

"Uh...I'm not so sure if it should be me you should be coming to with your...uh, troubles, Josie. What about going to Kate?" Asked an uncomfortable Caleb Danvers. He ran a hand through his spiky hair, mussing it up further. It was almost night time, and Josie had just "magically" decided to stop tossing and turning in her bed, get on some clean clothes, phone and ask Pogue where he lives and come to his house in the middle of the night, wet – it was raining outside – and shivering, to ask him if he was willing to help her out with...well, her decisions in life, you could say.

Or her woes or troubles or whatnot.

Whatever. Josie was desperate, and she needed someone to tell her what to do, because that was what everyone always did. Tell her what to do. And now, all of a sudden, she has make her own decisions? People start to back off and not tell her what to do because she was friends with the Sons Of Ipswich and Kate Tunney? It was confusing, and Josie had no idea as to what to think of it.

So she needed Caleb's help, because he was the "leader" the Sons always rely on. Certainly he would know what she should do.

Josie sighed heavily. "You know how Kate is now because I "ruined" her heels. She's ignoring me and won't even listen to what I have to say. It's going to give or take a few weeks, and I simply do not think I can run away from Derek and Reid at the same time – though Reid seems to be doing the same thing to me."

She wanted to slap her hand on her forehead when she saw the confusion in Caleb's eyes. He simply did not get it, not being a girl and all. Ugh – men. Seriously. They were so...un-in tune with their feelings. It wasn't even funny.

"Uh...what? I don't get it. Derek? Reid? You? Ignoring one another? I, uh..." Caleb trailed off, scratching the back of his head, a far away look on his face.

But it was kind of funny. The oh-so-smart Caleb Danvers confused because of a few girl troubles one of his "friends" was having _(Yes, Josie still didn't seem to think that Caleb was her "friend" friend...whatever that meant)_. And it would've been funnier, had it not been Josie who was in this predicament at the moment. Maybe she'd laugh, thinking about this moment after a few months, but right now she was in no position to laugh about it.

"Maybe, uh – I should come in. I'll explain everything, so maybe it will, y'know, make more sense to you." The confused expression slid off of his face and he turned almost scarily serious, looking behind his back as if he expected someone or something to jump out at them out of nowhere. He turned back to look at her, then stepped a bit closer towards her, the door coming along with him, and Josie could no longer see much of his house from the inside. As if he didn't want her to see something – _someone?_ – that was inside.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Josie. I'm serious. I can't help you out. I'm sorry."

Josie felt tears gathering in her eyes at this. She tried her best to blink them away, but it didn't work that well. Shakily, she nodded at him. "Yeah. Alright. Thanks anyway. I, uh...I um, should be going then. See you tomorrow at school." The brunette whispered, and she turned around to walk back into the rain, the hollowness inside of her opening up once more and threatening to swallow her up.

She didn't hear the door close behind her, but kept on walking until she felt the rain pelt onto her like little droplets of hail or ice. Running a hand through her wet hair, she squinted her eyes, trying to see ahead, but all she saw was black.

And she would have to walk in black.

Great. Just great. Why did she even decide to come here when the weather was so bad and she knew it would only get worse? For a smart girl, she sure was an idiot when it came to other things. Kate was right after all.

"Wait! Josie!" Caleb called then, and she turned around to see him shrugging on a jacket, closing the door to his house behind him. Squinting, she saw something he was clutching in his hand rather tightly. Car keys, she realized. Where was he going? Did he want her to go with him or something? Josie wasn't so sure, but that was what she was thinking he was going to ask.

"Yeah?" She called back, raising her voice over the pelting of the rain.

He walked towards his car and opened the passenger door. "Let me drop you back to Spenser!" Josie ran a hand through her hair. But she was going to make the inside of his car wet. Isn't that a bad thing? Doesn't he care at all? But when she racked another shiver, she decided to not care about his car, or think about what he thought about getting the inside of his car wet. Anyway, he was getting rained on as well, waiting for her. It seemed like he didn't care much.

Josie nodded at him, then jogged towards him and his Mustang, she believed it was, climbing inside the passenger door and smiling through the window at him thankfully when he shut the door for her. When he finally got in, she thanked him sincerely.

"Don't mention it," He told her, giving her a small smile, "Anything for a friend, y'know." Friend.

_Friend._

_Friend? Really? Me? He thinks of me as his friend? _Josie thought to herself, shocked.

It was stupid to think, but she hadn't thought that he was her friend. It wasn't because she didn't like him – he was a very nice guy, nicer than any guy in Spenser. Nicer than even Derek, really – not that she had any romantic feelings for Caleb. He was more like...her elder brother. Now that she thought about it, all of the Sons – save for Reid, of course – were like her brothers in her mind. Caleb and Pogue the older brothers, while Tyler was her younger brother. Now that she thought about it...not only did she think of them as her own kin, but she also thought that they were her friends.

Somewhere, deep inside. Somewhere where she hadn't noticed that she thought about them like that. It sounded weird aloud, or thinking over and over about it, sure, but in her mind, it sounded plausible, really.

Josie put a hand to her head, shocked, and Caleb easily noticed.

"Josie - you alright?" He asked, concerned. She looked over at him, looking at the concern on his face, and felt a warm sensation in her belly. He was concerned – for her. He cared – for her. Never had anyone been concerned for her - well, except for her grandmother. But her grandmother was her flesh and blood. Caleb was the richest, coolest, most well-known guy in Spenser Academy. He wasn't her flesh and blood. Neither was Kate, or Pogue, or Tyler, or Derek, or Reid.

Yet they cared for her – Reid didn't show it that well, Derek hasn't known her for too long, but they cared. Would be concerned. And the same for her. She cared for them – she would always be concerned for them if anything happened.

Josie couldn't believe this. She couldn't believe that she had been so blinded by problems and troubles and woes to realize that she had made actual friends, friend who cared for her and her them. They had been right under her nose! They were always so close! And she always thought that they were so far, that they weren't "full fledged" friends, whatever that meant.

She felt like the stupidest person on the planet right then and there.

A hand still on her head, she looked away, not wanting him to be weirded out by her staring at him. "Yeah. Yeah, Caleb...I'm fine." Even to her, her voice sounded far away, even child-like. She tucked a wet curl behind her ear, staring without thinking at the dashboard.

But then she thought about Reid, about Derek – about her liking Reid, yet having some feelings for Derek still. She thought about Reid liking her, but not wanting to be committed out of fear. She thought about Derek liking her, but not being her boyfriend because he wanted her to be sure she liked him and only him and not Reid. And then her trouble came back.

Josie decided to use this car ride to have Caleb help her out.

"Caleb – you...you have to help me out. I mean, I-I've always liked Reid. And – and Tyler told me that he likes me too, but..." She tried to think of a way to say that he was scared of dying when he Ascended so he didn't want to be committed to anyone and be as far away from people as possible so vaguely that the promise Tyler made Reid and the silent promise Josie made Tyler wouldn't be broken, "...he's com-commitment-phobic, really. A-And now, Derek likes me, too. I sort of like him, bu-but...I'm not sure if I like Reid more or Derek more, and I certainly do not want Derek to be the rebound, you could say, just because Reid was scared to be with me so he ignored me. I-...I need someone to tell me what to do, and you're - well, you're Ca-Caleb D-Danvers _and _you should be someone who understands Reid, 'cause you're his friend. Surely you can help me out."

Caleb looked torn as he flexed his hands on the wheel, eyebrows furrowed – and Josie immediately felt guilt creeping on her. The guy was always stressed, either about school or keeping their secret little Coven a, well, secret from "humans" or about Reid and his Using or about himself even and his Using. It was easy to see that he tried to keep his Using to a minimum, while also trying to help out the others and have them keep the Using to a minimum as well.

Josie wasn't completely blind, you see.

"It's alright, Caleb – you...you don't need to help me out. I-I'll ask someone else." Josie finally said, looking out the window quickly, mentally slapping herself for even coming to his doorstep and stressing him out further and the first place.

He sighed then, but she still didn't turn to look back at him, not wanting to his tortured expression. "No, Josie – you need to know. You're...you're all wrong," This made her turn to look at him, seeing the frown on his face as he looked out of the windshield, eyes black – no doubt Using so he could actually see the road in front of him, "I know I'm the smart one from Pogue and Reid and even Tyler. He may be smart, but he's book smart. Me...well, I guess I'm more...in tune with other types of smarts, I guess. I dunno. Anyway – I can't help you out, because this has nothing to do with me. I hope that you don't take that the wrong way. I'm not saying that I'm not going to help you out because it has nothing to do with me – I mean that I simply _cannot _help you because this is your decision to make.

"I can't stir you in the so-called "right lane" because I'm not you. I don't think like you, act like you and I _do not _like Derek or," His face scrunched up as if he sucked on a lemon, "Or like _Reid _in _that way_. This is your decision. This is something you need to think about. A decision that no one can help you with, because everyone will be bias. Me because, of course, I only know Reid well, so if I try to help, I'll be bias towards Derek. You can't go to Derek because he doesn't exactly like Reid since he's the "other guy," so, therefore, he'll be bias towards Reid. You understand what I mean?" Josie nodded, "Good.

"Now, I know this will sound really...weird, but – listen to your heart, Josie. I know that it's confusing and it doesn't make sense, but listen to your heart. It takes you a while to listen to it, yes – I know that. But in the end, you will know exactly what to do. You'll know whether or not you should be with Reid, and whether or not you should be with Derek. Everything will make sense. In time. Only in time."

After his spiel had been finished, they were right in front of Spenser Academy. Josie numbly opened the car door and stepped out of the car, all the while not looking at his pity-filled face.

"Thanks for the ride and the talk, Caleb," She whispered, not even caring if he could hear or not, "It...it really helped."

"Don't mention it." Came his quiet response, a few seconds before Josie closed the door and walked slowly towards Spenser. She could hear the Mustang still there, engine revving still, and then Caleb sped off back home. She closed her eyes, and tears fell down – only a few, but they blended easily with the rain that continued to pelt down in buckets.

Finally, she walked into Spenser, wet and very, _very _upset.

* * *

Once more Josie found herself tossing and turning in bed, eyes opening and closing, mind troubled.

She sat up in bed, brushing away tears that fell, and stared ahead. Caleb had made absolutely no sense to her, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do. Listen to her heart? What did that even _mean_?

Nothing. It meant absolutely nothing to her. Perhaps it meant something to Caleb, but something inside her didn't seem to click when those words of Caleb's rattled through her brain. With shaky fingers, she grabbed her cell phone from the side table and scrolled through her contacts. _Adrian _–_ her dad's name...Bela _–_ her mom's name...Caleb...Kate..._

She found the name she was looking for and pressed it, then, with a shaky hand, put it to her ear, and waited, listening to the rings.

"Hello?" Came the sleepy voice. Josie felt a pang of guilt once more, the same she had felt when asking Caleb what she should do, but tried her best to push it away. It didn't work, so she just ignored it altogether.

"H-Hello? Po-...Pogue?" She said, and closed her eyes tightly when she heard her broken voice.

"What? What's wrong, Josie?" He sounded very much awake now, and once more something inside her rattled.

Concerned. Pogue was concerned...about her. He was truly her friend. A real nice friend at that. A tear slipped from her eye. Swallowing, she forced herself to continue, "I need your help. I mean, I don't want you to come to Spenser or anything, but...I need some advice. Please." There was silence on the other line for a while.

"Uh...I'm not so good with, uhm...giving people advice. Especially...uh, no offense, but, ahm...girls."

_"Please Pogue._ I really need some advice." She was practically begging now, not caring about what little pride she had. Once more there was silence. Josie felt her heart beating fast in her ribcage as she waited with bated breath for his response.

"Alright then. Ah...what is it?"

"I've like Reid, Pogue, a-and Tyler told me that he likes me too, but he's commitment-phobic. And all of a sudden Derek comes out and says he likes me and I kinda sorta like him t-too, but I-I'm not sure if I like Reid more or Derek more. I don't w-want Derek to b-be a rebound or anything, so I...I said I'd have to think a-about i-it. I-I need someone to te-tell me what I sh-should d-do, and you're –...you're someone who understands Reid, 'cause you're his fr-friend an' a-all. S-...so...please, please, _please help me out_." Josie found herself saying the almost exact same thing that she had told Caleb, but with a lot more stuttering.

"..." Pogue sighed, "Josie – I...I hear you. But I can't help you. I'm not saying I don't want to, but this is your problem, it's your decision. And since I'm Reid's friend and not both Reid and Derek's friend, I'm no doubt only going to either be bias towards Reid or Derek, because Reid has his issues, yeah, but he's got redeeming qualities. And although that is true, I don't know anything about Derek or about his thoughts or mannerisms. Wh-" He yawned then, "Excuse me. Now, what I'm trying to say is that – well, Caleb has this pansy ass saying: "Listen to your heart."

"Tyler, Reid and I are always making fun of it behind his back, but I have to be honest. It makes a bit of sense to me, no matter how pansy ass the saying is. Listen to your heart, Josie, and when the time is right, you'll know what your decision is."

Pretty much the same, exact response that Caleb had given, along with the "pansy ass" saying. It was like they had made the whole speech up just to smite her, but Josie knew now that they were her _friends_, and friends don't make things hard for other friends. If it was funny, sure, yeah, alright, for a giggle and some memories for later on in life, but not when things were this serious.

"Thanks, Pogue...I appreciate you helping m-me out." Josie whispered brokenly.

"You're welcome. Bye." He said, though he sounded torn, as if he knew that she was semi-lying, that it hadn't helped things out. But at the end of the day, he was a boy – a boy who wasn't so comfortable with the whole spill-my-feelings thing that girls were always doing.

And it seemed that that would sometimes come first to guys.

Oh well. At least that meant that she could hang up her phone and cry, alone and all by herself, then it didn't matter much to Josie.

"Bye." And then she flipped the phone closed, staring at the wall again.

Tears fell once more, and she let out a small sob, the phone left on the bed, forgotten, as her hands came up to cup her eyes. Why was love so hard? Why did she deserve such a terrible life?

And _why the fuck _was Josie always left crying in the end of things?

* * *

Don't ask her why she was doing something stupid like this, when she had done something sort of similar with Caleb, for she had no idea why. Maybe it was the fact that she was a girl, or maybe it was the fact that she was a _desperate _girl, or maybe it was the fact that she was a desperate, _confused _girl.

Josie didn't know, and she didn't care.

With a sigh, she knocked on Reid and Tyler's dorm room, hoping with all of her heart that Reid wasn't there. She didn't think she could handle it if he was.

Thankfully, it was Tyler who opened the door, hair tousled and boxers hanging low on his hips, white v-neck shirt wrinkled. He blinked a few times before rubbing his eyes, letting loose a loud yawn after wards, cupping a hand over his mouth. It seemed like even though Tyler was still half-asleep, he still managed to have the same amount of decency as he always did.

It made her smile – a bit weakly, yes, but smile nonetheless. No matter how much she wanted to break down crying again.

"Sorry for showing up so late," Then she peeked behind him, squinting at how dark it was, "Is, uh...Reid's not here, is he?" She asked meekly, rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly. Still blinking at her, he slowly shook his head.

"Why? Were you looking for him?" He didn't even wait for her to answer, still continuing on as if he already knew the answer, "If you were, then I'm not sure where he is. Left a couple of hours ago – never came back. I waited for him for a while, but it's Monday tomorrow, and I needed the sleep. I have a Lit. test tomorrow." Tyler explained. Guilt swelled up in her stomach once more, like it had for both Caleb and Pogue.

Josie looked away. "Sorry for, uh, coming then."

"It's alright, Josie. Seriously, it is. I know how you feel – well, not that I've been in your situation before, but I know you must feel, well, terrible. Anyway – what's up? Is there something wrong?" Tyler asked, putting a comforting hand on her arm.

She only sighed, and Tyler took that as a "Yes," allowing her to step in and hastily turning on the lights before closing the door to the dorm room. He sat down on his bed, and Josie awkwardly sat down on Reid's bed, directly in front of him. Reid's sheets were tousled, and it felt mighty uncomfortable to be sitting on it, in his room...where he basically, well, lived.

"So...shoot." He said, and quite easily she launched into the same answer that she had given Caleb and Pogue, though with a few changes and with even more stutters. Tyler nodded and "hmm"ed every now and then, which made her feel like she was talking to a therapist about her troubles. And Tyler would make an excellent therapist in the future – well, if that was what he wanted to be, that is, but Josie had a feeling that he didn't. After all, he _was _at Spenser Academy and all.

There was a silence as Tyler processed what she had said, and Josie found herself awkwardly looking around at the posters on the wall. They were full of girls, no doubt Reid's idea. Every now and then she saw a small comic strip here and there, no doubt Tyler's idea, for Reid didn't seem to be the type of boy who'd actually read the newspapers, even if there was comic strips in them.

"Josie...there is little I can help you out with. You need to realize that it's time for you to make your own decisions. Spread your wings and fly, I guess you could say. I mean, I know it's kind of hard to make your decisions. As you know, I'm not exactly a talkative guy, and I never was, and I doubt I'll ever be," He shrugged, "It's the fact of my life, I guess. Anyway – Reid would always make decisions for me. First it was little things – what I want for lunch, if I want to go to a party or not, but then it got a little bigger, more complicated, until I was forced to stand up and tell Reid to stop.

"Reid had been pissed – embarrassed, even. But that's the thing with him: he gets over most things easily. So our friendship remained and I could make decisions for myself. Of course, since Reid was more talkative and had always been making decisions for me, it was pretty hard. Though I got over it, really. And though I am still that quiet guy I'm always gonna be...I'm free. I can make my own decisions. No one can tell me what to do anymore – not even Reid. I mean, hey, I love the guy and all, after all he's my best friend, but I don't need him making my important life decisions. And you need to feel the same way. You need to make your own decisions and...well, listen to your heart, like Caleb always says to Reid, Pogue and I when we come to him for advice.

"Sounds stupid and cheesy and idiotic, I know, but deep down, I'm sure the three of us understand what he means. Or, well, at least, I know I do. Just...listen to your heart, Josie. That's all you can hope for, and that's all you can do. If your heart tells you to be with Derek, I might not like it, Pogue might not like it, Caleb might not like it, Reid will definitely not like it, but you gotta go with your heart nevertheless. And if your heart tells you to be with Reid, then do it, even if it hurts Derek. And though it is not right to be selfish, Josie, you need to be selfish for these kinds of things.

"This is your _life_, Josie. Listen to your heart...be selfish for once. It sounds bad, but it isn't. I swear to you, Josie. In the end...you'll learn to accept your decision, and know it was the right decision, the only plausible one. I felt guilty when I had stood up to Reid, but eventually I got my best friend back and could make my own decisions again." Tyler gave her a smile, and wrapped an arm around her waist and gave her a side-hug, burying his face in her hair. And then the dam broke, and Josie found herself crying. Her and crying. Could she _ever fucking stop_? That thought only made her cry harder.

It seemed like Tyler didn't mind though, for he only clutched her tighter, and allowed her to cry into his shirt. The soft cloth tickled her cheek, and whispered her gratitude to him, telling him that she appreciated everything he was doing for her, but she was still so damn _confused_. And Tyler listened respectfully, rubbed her back, whispered comforting thoughts to her.

"Don't worry," He reassured, "I promise you, Josie...it'll make sense soon enough. Sooner than you think."

And she couldn't help but believe him, believe that his promise was a true one.

* * *

Josie wiped her nose, inserting her key into the doorknob of her dorm room, about to open it when she felt a warm mass behind her. She closed her eyes warily. Hadn't she had enough socializing for one day? Turning around, she looked up to see...

...Derek.

Her eyes widened considerably, and she found herself gaping as he gave her a soft smile. Finally, she composed herself, and gave him a smile back, but hers was a weak one, a tired one. She had cried so much, stressed so much, asked so many people for their thoughts, their opinions...and they only gave her one stupid, confusing answer: _listen to your heart._

And even though she understood what they meant, she _didn't _understand at the same time, something that was the most stupidest thing ever.

"I know I shouldn't be hurrying you, but...have you made a decision yet? Have you decided between me and..._Garwin_?" He literally growled the last word aloud, causing her to flinch, though it seemed like he hadn't noticed, too consumed by his anger for Reid. _And it was all because of her that he didn't like him._ Guilt rushed through her again, latching onto her, suffocating her. She clenched her eyes shut, then breathed slowly, and opened her eyes.

_Listen to your heart, Josie...listen to your heart_, Josie whispered to herself mentally.

Nope. Nothing. No sort of epiphany or anything.

"I...I-I...haven't." Josie mumbled, leaning back against her door in defeat. Her voice had gotten smaller and smaller as she stuttered and stumbled over those two, stupid words.

Derek gave her a lopsided smile now, anger faded, and cupped her cheek. "Then let me help." He whispered lowly, and leaned in, his lips touching hers. There was a spark there, yes, something that drew Josie to him, but...her mind kept on going back to Reid, her heart aching for him. Yet his lips ignited something in her, something...something weird. It didn't make her feel comfortable, but she placed her hand on Derek's chest, leaned in, tried to make that feeling go away. But perhaps this was the "listen to your heart" crap the Sons were telling her about. Was this it? Was this weird fluttering, uncomfortableness in her chest supposed to hint to her that she should be with Derek, and not Reid?

She opened her eyes, and that was when she noticed something...something vital.

Reid.

He was standing there, a few feet away, staring with a blank expression at them, hands clenched at his sides. His jaw clenched as well, and then he turned around and stalked away. Derek didn't notice him, and continued to kiss her, tongue poking out and slithering across her bottom lip, asking silently for her to open up. Though, instead of doing so, she pulled away from him, pushed him away as gently as she could, and ran after Reid.

She didn't know why she did so, but it was an impulse of some sort that practically _forced _her to run after him. Like she was supposed to. Maybe Reid was Using to make her do so, but she knew Reid wouldn't do that. He was pissed off at her, at Derek - there was no way he'd want her to run after him. Well, too bad for him, whether or not he was Using to make her do so or not.

Josie was going to catch up to him. She was not going to let him walk away. And that was something that came straight from her heart, she realized suddenly. She was finally listening to her heart, like everyone wanted her to do.

"Reid? Reid!" She called out, like how _Derek_ was calling after _her_, his voice getting smaller and smaller as she ran down the stairs, huffing and puffing, trying to catch up with the blond Son. "Wait up!"

Suddenly he stopped, a few stairs away from reaching the first floor, and turned around to look at her, eyes narrowed. Josie flinched, but stopped a stair in front of him, managing to catch herself on time. They stared at each other for a while, then, silence clouding over them. Finally, Josie sighed, readied herself, and began to talk, slow, as if talking to a child one second close to throwing a temper tantrum.

"Reid...I...I want you to know that...I haven't made a decision yet. Derek, he...I'm still not sure, Reid. I-I don't k-know what to do." She whispered softly, looking away from him, tears gathering in her eyes. This whole thing was making her so _frustrated_. Though it was flattering to see two guys fighting over her, it was also so tiresome, choosing between two of them. Especially when she had no idea who she wanted and who she didn't.

Derek was so nice, so gentle with her. He was warming up to her, slowly. She felt that attraction, but it didn't seem to build much. And then there was Reid, someone she had liked for so long. But he was so _confusing_, hot one moment, then cool the next.

His eyes were cool, hard, calculating. "Really? 'Cause it sure looked like you already made a decision, Josie." He told her icily, as icy as his blue eyes were, boring straight through her – not as if they were staring at her, but as if she was see-through. Like she didn't exist, like she wasn't there. It made her feel like she was nothing. Like no one cared. But she knew Reid cared, she knew Derek cared. And she knew Pogue, Kate, Caleb and Tyler cared. They cared, something that astounded her. They cared _so much_ for her, it was like...like...

She couldn't even explain it. But it was so _weird_, knowing that so many people finally cared for her. A warm feeling filtered in her belly, even though there were tears still in her eyes. They cared...finally_ someone cared for her, _truly_ cared._

"I haven't," She whispered brokenly, "And...and Reid...seriously. I don't know anything anymore. Yo-you...it's like, one second, you care for me, as much as the rest of the Sons and Kate and Derek do, but t-then...then you, you _change_. Into someone else, hide behind this icy facade. And _I'm tired_, Reid. I'm so tired chasing after you, trying to get you to see that I like you, that I care for you – mo-more than I-I...should. But then...I-I can't just...let you go.

"T-Then...th-there's...D-Derek. He's so nice to me, I met him a while back, but I know he cares. I know he's a friend, a-and...I-I might feel something for him. Something might be there, between us. And I-I...care so much for him, too. H-He's slowly growing on me, and he never changes like you do, Reid. H-He's always the same, warm guy I know. Always there when I need to talk, always trying to help me out without thinking about hims-self or h-his fe-feelings.

"So...what do you want from me? What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? Tell me s-straight out, Reid. B-Because I can't play...whatever it is we-we're playing w-with each other! Running in c-circles around o-one another. A-Admitting our feelings, r-running awa-away," Josie closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head softly, hair tumbling about around her, "Just...tell me."

That was it. That was what had been hidden in her heart for so long. Something she herself hadn't known much about. Was this what they had meant? Yes...yes, it was. But should she continue...listening to her...heart, or...whatever it was? She didn't know, but she would have to grab this bull by it's horn and continue on, not caring what the end response what.

It was time for her to be selfish, to think about herself for a change. About what she wanted, not what other wanted. What she wanted to do, what she didn't want.

"Be my girlfriend." Reid spit out quickly. Josie's eyes widened.

Silence. That was all there was. _Did he...did he just...say that? No...no, he hadn't _–_ he couldn't _–_ but Reid was, and he _–

"You heard me," Reid whispered, eyes suddenly going soft, "I...I like you, Josie. And, well, Derek is a dumb ass. He doesn't deserve you, Josie. You need someone...well, not even someone like me, really. Someone like – someone like...you know, you're so -..." Reid sighed heavily, "Y'know, I can't explain, really. You're...you deserve someone so much better than me or _Derek_, but I'm a selfish person. I want you all to myself. I-I want you...to...to be my girlfriend. Will you...will you be my girlfriend?" And then he stopped talking, and silence once again filled the stairway.

Josie stared into his eyes, and a tear slipped from her eye, falling down her cheek.

This was it. This was what she had wanted all along, what she had wanted to hear from him so _for so goddamn long._ And now that it was here...Josie felt uneasy. She wasn't sure. Did she want to be Reid's girlfriend? Hell yes. It was what she wanted. But was she willing to so easily give him her heart, the very one he had thrown back in her face so many times whenever she'd hand it back to him? Was she able to trust him so blindly again? To actually allow him to – to give him the power to break her heart _again_?

Josie closed her eyes, and breathed deep. She tried her best to listen...listen to her heart, as cheesy as that sounded.

Was this what she should do? Was she willing to go along with this? Should she so blindly trust Reid Garwin again? Take yet another leap of faith? Trust him with her heart so easily?

So many questions...and only one word could answer every single one of them, but she had two options. And then it came to her, just like that. A weight fell off of her chest, but the pain still remained. The sadness, the guilt...it all stayed.

Another tear fell from her eye, and she opened her eyes to look at Reid, taking another deep breath, trying to summon up all of her courage and determination.

She had to be strong: not for Derek, not for Reid...but for herself. It was time to be selfish; it was time to think about herself for once.

"...no." She whispered. Reid's hopeful face crashed, and then she realized what she had just done: _Reid had given her his heart, opened himself up to her, and she had thrown it back in his face. _But this was her decision. This was what must be done. Not because of revenge, but because this was something that Josie had to do for herself – be selfish.

"No, I won't be your girlfriend, Reid." Josie sobbed out then; not because of sadness, but relief.

For, she knew she had broken Reid's heart, but _she had made the right decision for herself._ Josie had done what everyone had wanted her to do: she had listened to her heart.

* * *

**Silent Knight: I hope you guys understand why it was necessary that Josie say no to Reid. And, yes, I know that was something truly cold for Josie to do, but this isn't exactly about Rosie [Reid/Josie] entirely. This is about Josie's struggles and her heartache and her selflessness. Josie is a character who needed to evolve, who needed to open her eyes and see that there were people out in the world who loved her, respected her, cared for her, and that she needed to be selfish at times, and that it was alright to be selfish.**

**These are life lessons we all needed to learn, and so it was vital that Josie learned them, too.**

**Now, onto the epilogue. The epilogue will be in Reid's point of view. And not at all like, "Reid did this and that..." but more like, "I did this and that..." Since this is third person, but still in Josie's point of view kinda-sorta, I hope you guys don't mind dwelving into Reid's mind in first person. :) I just thought – what better way to end this whole thing than having Reid say the final words?**

**So...let's see how ICM ends...shall we? ;)**

**Also, remember to review, guys. The end is nigh!**

**Silent Knight over and out!**


	16. I want, I want, I want

_Title: I Caught Myself_

_Summary: He was the addiction. She was the addict. It was so perfect that it was simple – they were meant to be. But it's not as simple as you may think. ReidxOC_

_Genre: General, Romance_

_Rating: T

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**Silent Knight: AHHH! THE END THE END THE END THEEND THEENDISFINALLYFREAKINGHERE! :DD Oh happy times, folks! And sorta sad times too, I guess. I really enjoyed writing this story, reading your reviews and such. You guys were so awesome, and made writing this a blast and seemingly easy for me. This is the first full-fledged story that I've EVER finished writing, so consider yourselves lucky, folks.**

**By the way, if you're curious, ICM's sequel, **_"Decode" _**won't be out for a while, so I'll truly miss you all, fersure.**

**Remember - this is Reid's point of view. Hopefully you guys don't think his thoughts are too OOC, but they have to be, for he's in "sorta-love" here, folks! He HAS to be at least a LITTLE different than TC Reid we all know and love, y'know? But don't worry, Reid Garwin's still a pervert. Just...his pervert thoughts revolve around Josie more now. lol xDD**

**Anywho - enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Check chapter one.**

**Claimer: What the disclaimer said. ;)

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**I Caught Myself**

**Epilogue: I want, I want, I want**

_Reid's Point Of View_

"No." It came out so easily from her lips – like she was talking about the weather or something. That was one of the reasons I felt that hurt deep in the pit of my stomach. And the other, more obvious reason was because she declined – because she said she didn't want to be my girlfriend. I knew that after I always avoided her and my feelings for her, I guess I deserved it, but that in no way lessened my pain.

At all.

I felt like screaming curses at no one in particular after the shock and the sadness ebbed away and the anger took control. But what could I do? What could I say to make her change her mind? Kiss her? Beg her to reconsider? No – I knew by the confidence in her tone that nothing would make her change her answer.

Though part of me wished that there was something I could do to make her say yes – to have her smile shyly at me as she said so, and I'd grin and take her in my arms and do all that mushy stuff in those chick flicks with her.

But, of course, the reality was was that she declined. She said no to me, to us. All because I was too much of a pussy to come to terms with my feelings for her.

I looked away from her, and looked at the floor, trying to get all the emotions in my face to sweep away so I could have a more guarded expression on my face – so she wouldn't notice how much that stupid little word hurt me. I was pretty sure I was fooling nobody, but it still made me feel a little better to pretend like my stoic expression caused her to be oblivious. "Okay." And then I turned to walk away from her, perhaps forever. Yeah. Forever would be exactly what I would want.

Though she put her cool hand on my bare arm, and goosebumps immediately appeared, those fucking traitors. "Reid – please. Don't go just yet. I...I don't want this to...to cause a rift between us. I still want to be friends with you." God – not that crappy old line. Why doesn't she just say "It's not you, it's me" if she wants to use such crappy break up lines when we weren't even together to begin with?

"Well I don't." I said coldly, about to walk away when she physically stepped in front of me, sadness in her eyes. I looked away from her. Truth was, I couldn't stand upset girls – especially fragile, shy little girls like Josie. It was just...one of my secret weaknesses. Even if I might be laughing if others were, I would always avert my eyes for no reason, really. It wasn't like if I ever saw a girl being bullied I'd step forth and help her out or protect her – the only person that ever got that type of treatment with me was...was...well, Josie.

"Reid," She whispered, "I meant that. I...I can't be with you because...to be quite frank, you hurt me. You hurt me a lot, Reid. And I...I just want to make sure I don't get hurt again. I want to try and take our friendship a little slow. And yes, I want to be with you still, but I want to take things slow. I hope you understand. And...and if you don't want to be together, then...I understand completely."

I looked at her for a while. I couldn't believe her. Here I am, finally asking her to be my girlfriend, and she just says no to me! I couldn't believe this stupidity! Ripping my arm away from her, I ran down the stairs and then walked away, towards the front entrance of Spenser Academy.

A tear fell from my eye, but I angrily brushed it away.

No need to cry for Josie Wesley. She didn't deserve to be cried after. And she could go with her precious Derek for all I cared. I didn't care for her anymore. Nor did I want to be her stupid friend. She could keep her friendship to herself.

I certainly did not need it; I did _not _need _her_. Not anymore.

* * *

Okay, so I lied. I _did _need Josie; and I knew it the minute I saw her in History class, Mr. Briggs going on about random crap that I never listened to, never would and never have to. Using and Tyler, both were awesome things, I tell ya.

Josie looked pale as she sat in Mr. Briggs' class, and there were a few bags under her eyes, and she looked tired as heck, eyes half-lidded. It looked like she was fighting with herself, trying her best to stay awake. Even though they were supposed to take notes on what Mr. Briggs was writing on the white board, Josie wasn't, her left hand – I had never known she was left-handed – clutching onto her pencil in a vice grip, knuckles stretched over her bones and the skin around the knuckles white, though she wasn't writing anything on her paper. I wanted Use and make her feel less sleepier, but I knew that people would most certainly notice the bags under her eyes leaving and her body suddenly relaxing, so I decided to not do so.

Instead, I watched her.

Josie was just looking down at her paper, looking as if she was dead, something that really scared me. I wanted to shout randomly, just to see her flinch, do something to make me be one hundred percent sure of the fact that she was _alive, not dead like she looked like she was._ Almost immediately, I felt this deep, horrible pang inside, and my heart ached for her. I wanted to hold Josie close all of a sudden, wanted to place my lips on hers, feel her kissing back eagerly like she wanted it, too.

My pants got a little tight, and I shifted about a bit, not tearing my gaze away from her.

"Mr. Garwin! Would you stop staring at Ms. Wesley and pay more attention to the board?" Came Mr. Briggs sharp voice. People knew better to snicker at me; after all, I was Reid Garwin, the baddest of the Sons Of Ipswich. Who knew what the hell I would do to them if they laughed at me, not with me.

I continued not to look at Mr. Briggs or the board, though – only at Josie. Mr. Briggs growled angrily, and everyone laughed at the fact that I was being disobedient again, the "bad boy" and "troublemaker" I am. Well, whatever. I just continued to stare at Josie, though she hadn't moved out of her seat, hadn't looked up – even when Mr. Briggs had shouted at me out of nowhere and even I had flinched at the sudden voice of that asshole's nasally voice.

I was getting really worried. Really, really worried for her.

She was all I could think about, even as the bell rang and it was time for everyone to leave. Josie numbly got up, grabbed her things and walked down the steps, not even once glancing at anyone, only bumping into our _fellow students and peers_. They knew better to say anything rude to her; she was practically VIP now, being friends with the Sons and Kate Tunney of all people. Though that did not mean that they didn't glare at her from behind or whisper rude things about her either to themselves like weirdos or their friends like the stuck-up gossipers they were.

Unable to take it anymore, I grabbed my own stuff and ran after her, shoving random classmates out of the way.

"Josie? Hey! Hey – Josie!" She ignored me though, like I wasn't calling out for her, and continued to walk towards her next class – yet another one I had with her. It was weird to know that we had every class together except for one, for I had never noticed it before, until during our History project, when we had been paired together and I had first gotten mad at her. It had been the first time I had started to notice her around; curious about her, though still pissed off at her.

Weird how it had went from hate to love so quickly, I realized then. Well...not exactly love, but from hatred to, well, fondness, I guess. Whatever you wanted to call it. I didn't care. What I did care about was turning Josie into the sweet and shy girl I knew. But I knew it would be hard, considering the fact that I didn't exactly want to throw away my pride. I had been so dramatic yesterday, just walking away from her, and now I was getting all needy, wanting to follow her around like a sick puppy? _Reid Garwin_ didn't roll that way.

Sighing, I simply walked into our next class together, eyes set on only one person; a certain brunette girl, once so kind and sweet and shy, and now just a hollow shell. And it was all my fault. It was all because of me and my stupid pride and my stupidity of not realizing what an amazing girl she truly was.

It seemed like it was me who was blocking me to getting to my happiness – to Josie – all along. I had just been too stupid and blinded to notice this little fact.

* * *

Now it was lunch time, and I had not stopped staring Josie like a weird stalker. It didn't seem to be unnerving her, though – for nothing seemed to be unnerving her at all. Not even when numerous teachers called on her throughout the day for an answer, and she had just been staring down at her blank piece of paper, looking like she was not even on Earth – physically there, sure, but not _spiritually _there at all. Like her soul had been sucked out of her.

And I had been the one who had unknowingly done it, too concerned about my tarnished pride.

Josie didn't sit with us today, if you're wondering. She sat at a lunch table, lunch tray sitting idly there, staring down at it like she couldn't see it, couldn't anything, anyone, who were all staring at her and the our table in shock – surprised that she wasn't sitting with us like she usually did. I had seen that bastard, asshole of a guy Derek come up to her, trying to talk to her, and then, defeated, left when she said nothing in reply, staring down at her food like a zombie. Kate, who had been ignoring Josie because of the "disaster she had turned her heels into," had gone up to her, trying to talk to her, to get her to sit with them, and had given up. Though Kate, a truly nice friend, sat next to Josie, silent, eating her food, occasionally stealing glances at Josie and then back at my table, glaring at me accusingly, no doubt one hundred percent sure I had something to do with the fact that she was now pretty much a zombie.

And she was right. It was my fault. All my fault. And I felt like absolute shit, not able to do anything, not able to turn her back into the lively girl she used to be. Caleb and Pogue and Tyler had talked to me angrily about what had happened, and I shamefully had told them every exact detail – not holding back even one thing. They had been pretty pissed at me, and tried to get me to go over there, but I simply couldn't.

It was like I was glued to my seat, and eventually, so sick and tired of listening to them trying to boss me around – _even Tyler, the pussy out of our group_ – and get me to go over to Josie and Kate to talk to Josie, got up, threw my remaining food out and stalked out of the cafeteria. My stomach rumbled in protest, but only cussed at it, and eventually walked out of Spenser, taking out a cigarette and lighter, desperately in need of a smoke.

As I let out that first, refreshing stream of smoke, I heard footsteps from behind. "What the fuck did you do to her, you ass wipe?" Derek hissed, turning me around roughly, grabbing onto the lapels of my stupid uniform jacket. Coolly, I gripped his fists and pushed him roughly away from me, then took a drag of my cancer stick and exhaled smoke into his face. Derek didn't look at all amused.

"Nothing." I lied smoothly, then tried to turn back around, but Derek turned me back once more, face even more red – getting even redd_er_, actually.

"Yeah. Right. I believe you." Sarcasm was practically pouring out of the asshole.

I gave him the best smile I could from around the cigarette. "Glad you do. Now, if you'll excuse me –" His fist came out of nowhere, hitting me right in the jaw. I staggered back, cancer stick falling, useless, onto the floor, blood dripping down from my mouth, hand pressing against the sore flesh there

For a while, I stood like that, stupid bangs irritating my eyes, head to the side, away from Derek's body, a hand clutching onto my tender jaw. Then, quickly, before he could do anything about it, I lashed out, punching him in the jaw. Instead of staggering back like I had, the pussy only fell to the floor, groaning like the sissy I knew he was was, clutching his jaw with both hands, practically withering in pain even though I hadn't even inflicted as much damage as I could at him.

"You're pathetic," I hissed angrily, staring down at him, "Even Abbot could handle a simple punch to the jaw better than you did." With that insult thrown out, I put my hands into my pockets and coolly walked back into Spenser, as if nothing had happened at all, and like the punch he had hurled at me wasn't still throbbing like a mother, like my lip wasn't bleeding, my teeth having accidentally bitten it when Derek had punched me. The taste of smoke still littered my mouth, in my lungs.

The bell rang, and it was time to head to class.

Idly, I wondered if Derek could even get up from the floor to head to his next one, and felt pride, knowing that he wouldn't have enough strength to stand up on his two feet. Yup - Reid Garwin _still_ got it.

* * *

Flash forward to tomorrow, and things were still fucked up. Josie was still the same, Kate and the others were still livid, I was still helpless and Derek was still a pussy. The rest of the student body were as clueless as ever as well, already sprouting up stupid answers. The stupidest answer as to why Josie was so alienated from everyone around her was that Kate and us took her into the woods, raped her, had an orgy after wards and now she was pregnant with Kate's baby, which made absolutely no sense.

How could Josie have Kate's baby? They're both girls – I'm pretty sure Josie is, after all, she has a lot of girly emotions. And Kate is, well – 'cause Pogue and her have sex whenever they can, and I'm pretty sure Pogue wouldn't want to bang a guy who acted like he was a girl, so I think it's safe to say Kate Tunney is a girl.

But whatever. If you get too involved with rumors, then you'll lose all sense in what is right in the world and start thinking that the moon truly _is _made of cheese and that God_ is _on a tortilla.

It was Government, and now Josie sat down from me, so it was easier to watch her like this, acting like my head was buried all the way in my arms though I was watching her rigid frame from the corner of my eye. She looked so..._defeated_, and that caused yet another pang in my heart, and suddenly the most unknown feeling swept through me: guilt.

I felt guilty for leaving Josie there, broken, on the steps of the staircase. Sure, my pride was hurt and she wanted to take things slow, and though I'm not exactly a "take things slow" kind of guy, I also wasn't a guy who started to like just one girl, but I _had _started to like Josie, hadn't I? So if I could break one of the famous Garwin no-no's, then why couldn't I break yet another? The rational side of me – which probably had to be the smallest side of me; _ever_ – was mentally slapping me over and over because of my dumb, immature mistake.

God I was such a pussy. Not as big as a pussy as Derek, but a pussy nonetheless.

And that's when I decided it.

I was going to make things right – no matter how long it took. Just like that, a fairly simple yet affective plan started being made in my mind. I smirked, the plan growing and growing in my mind. Though it was a rather simple plan, it was going to work. It simply _had _to – for Josie's sake.

* * *

It was at night when the plan started, an hour or two before midnight. After ensuring that Tyler was asleep –_ it was pretty hard to wake that guy up, and the only thing that helped me wake him up was that bloody alarm clock of his; no other alarm clock worked, which I thought was not only weird but also sort of creepy_ – I tip-toed out of the room and snuck to the girls' dorms. It smelled fresh and minty, rather than filled with random, harsh colognes and a faint stench of sweat and even sweatier socks. One of the many things I liked about the girls' dorms.

The main thing I liked was the fact that there was girls there – with nice, comfy beds. I smirked to myself at this thought, but then shook my head madly, trying to get my mind out of the gutter and back on track. If this plan worked out, then I was going to make damn sure that no other girl but Josie would be part of my sex life.

Ensue more naughty thoughts, but these ones were centered around Josie. I shook my head again, but that didn't work. Instead, I decided to shove them out of my main thought process. I could think about them later – for now, let them run for the background.

After all, Josie's fabricated cries of pain and pleasure was rather good background music. It made me wonder how her _actual _cries of pain and pleasure may sound like...

No. No, Reid. Going off of the topic again, dude. Back on track. Back on track.

Taking a deep breath, I finally managed to find Josie's dorm room number – _elated about the fact that I managed to remember it correctly; or, well, hoped that I managed to remember it correctly_ – and rapped on the door as quietly as possible, not wanting to create too much noise. Who knows what some of the girls here might think of Reid Garwin being in the girls' dorms in the middle of the night, walking into Josie Wesley's dorm room...

...or even seeing his simple yet hopefully successful plan play out in front of their eyes, something which _did not_ need any spectators to be accomplished.

I stopped thinking of this when Josie opened the door, however, only thinking about the plan. Even the "background music" in my head stopped, as did the naughty images that had been there in the corner of my mind. All thoughts and images were on the plan right now, and I was hoping for the best. I just wanted the normal Josie Wesley back again – and perhaps even have that old Josie Wesley as my girlfriend.

Girlfriend.

What a strange word for Reid Garwin, playboy extraordinaire to be thinking about. If I had still been the old me, I would've been creeped out and scared, no doubt thinking that I was being possessed by someone or something. But this newer version of me knew that it was only love and Josie who was possessing me.

And I didn't mind being possessed by these two things, actually.

As long as I didn't get rejected, that is. Like I had previously before, at the stairwells. I pushed this memory away, focusing all of his attention once more on Josie. She stood there, half-asleep, hair tousled, dry lips parted, wearing cotton short-shorts and a long-sleeved shirt, confused out of her mind. Yet she looked cute - adorable, even, and I couldn't help smiling softly at her, which was _way _out of character for me.

"Hey, Josie. Can I come in?" I asked softly, raising my eyebrows a fraction of an inch. A bit of puppy dog eyes, yes, but not my full-throttle puppy dog eyes. That might over-do the whole innocent-ness, something that might cost me greatly. I had plotted this out word-for-word, and if Josie's responses weren't at least _almost _accurate as to what I thought she would say, then I was definitely screwed. I had to seem tender, soft, cushion-y and nice. But at the moment I didn't need to appear as so, for I _felt _tender, _felt_ soft, _felt _cushion-y, _felt_ nice.

All because of a shy girl named Josie Wesley who managed to capture my attention so quick.

"Yeah, sure." She mumbled hazily. Good - this was what I wanted. For her to be so sleepy that she didn't comprehend fully what she should actually do. I was sure that if she wasn't as sleepy as she looked and sounded, she would've said no or maybe even gently closed the door in my face, which was why this plan had been so carefully crafted.

I felt like an evil-genius-in-training at that moment, as I stepped into her dorm room, and sat down on her rather soft and cozy bed. Though the sheets were pink, I rather liked the bed. I could even see himself sleeping there, spooning Josie, one arm thrown casually over her waist, cradling her back to my chest. We would both be sleeping contently, our legs a tangle of limbs. I could sort of even smell that scent that seemed to radiate off of Josie's bed in my little day-dream, my nose – _in my mind, of course_ – buried in her hair as we slept, my "dreams" full will a faint dose of vanilla.

I liked the fact that her hair didn't smell like it had been dunked in vanilla – I liked the fact that there was only a faint fragrance of it there, nothing more. Though vanilla smelt nice, I was sure that hair being _dunked _in vanilla would _not _smell appeasing.

Josie was my kind of woman, I realized then. A kind of woman who he had not known was fully compatible to me. Though we were partly opposites, we fit well together. Almost too well. I could shield and protect her, Josie could calm and soothe me. It worked out perfectly – almost _too _perfectly, in my mind. I felt himself getting overwhelmed by this, but slowed my breathing down, and calmed my nerves. _There. _That was better.

"What is it, Reid?" Though it sounded rather rude, Josie made it sound so...serene. Polite. And even darn cute, saying it in her small, dazed-from-sleep voice. And...was that a faint _Southern accent_ that I heard? I grinned at this.

"I...just wanted to say that...well, Josie - I'm concerned about you."

This seemed to wake her up a bit.

"You're concerned about me?" The Southern drawl in her voice seemed to vanish a bit, and I found my heart tightening and feeling heavier for some odd reason because of that. Perhaps I had a weak spots for Southern accents? I wasn't too sure.

"Yeah. You're not acting like yourself Josie. And...I-...I'm sorry. I know it's my fault." I said, remorse filling my voice. My throat closed up, and I felt a prick in my eyes. Closing them, I lowered my head.

The bed dipped a bit, and I felt a warm presence next to me, on the bed. "No. It's not your fault, Reid. It's mine. I just...I got so used to being around you, talking normally with you and suck. You pretty much became something that was always there in my life, and then you left me there in the stairwells, all alone, by myself – declining my friendship, and I realized that you weren't going to be my friend anymore, and this – this _weight_ fell onto my chest." Of course, this part of the conversation hadn't been something that I had planned, considering the fact that I had absolutely no idea why Josie had been acting so...zombie-like for these past few days. All I had known was that it was my fault. Though Josie tried to tell me it wasn't, it was obvious to me that he was mentioned, therefore, I was part of the reason. A rather large part of it, really.

I decided to halt what I had been thinking to say to her before, and let myself wing it. I knew that it would go more successfully if I did so. It'd be more...spilling-my-guts-out-to-her rather than practicing-my-lines-to-her-with-sort-of-portray-my-sort-of-fake-feelings-for-her.

"Let me make it up to you anyway." I whispered, then cupped her chin and leaned in close, my lips touching hers. We sat like that for a while, lips-locked, nothing more, until I slowly pulled away from her. She looked shocked, dazed, and pleased. A goofy grin appeared on my face at this. Perfect. Just what I had been hoping for. Maybe I could get the old Josie back.

But then her face fell, and she seemed back to being a controlled zombie again. My grin and hope and happiness fell along with her contentment. I knew that I had lost her. Though the old part of her was still there, somewhere, trapped – calling out to me. Begging me to save her. Some hope came back at that.

"I don't want you to be my boyfriend, Reid. Why else had I asked for your friendship and declined your offer in the first place?" She whispered brokenly.

I gave her a small smile, shaking my head at her. "No, Josie. I didn't kiss you because I want you to be my girlfriend. Well, I _do_ want you to be my girlfriend, but when _you're_ ready to be my girlfriend. If you think that I won't break your heart. If you still want to be my girlfriend. I'm willing to try and...and..." My throat closed up suddenly, "...wait...wait it out for you. I'm willing to try and be..._friends _with you. Because, if my need for you to be my girlfriend is as strong as _I know_ it is, then you'll be my girlfriend in the end of this friendship."

Josie shook her head at this, making me frown. But she was smiling softly at me, tenderly. It made me confused as to what she meant, and she explained quickly. "Our friendship will never end, Reid. Not even when we're boyfriend and girlfriend." This made me smile again, and I leaned in and kissed her.

Truthfully, part of me had thought that this plan would get her to become my girlfriend. I don't know why, but it had. Though this wasn't bad – not at all. This gave me hope, 'cause I knew that, one of these days, Josie Wesley would be my girlfriend.

And, seriously?

I couldn't wait for that day to come. Until then, I'm sure I'd be satisfied with knowing that Josie was there, with me, willing to work this tangle of emotions out. And if she was willing to except me after all the faults I have and all the heartaches I gave her, then I'd be the luckiest man on Earth. No – the luckiest _warlock_ on Earth.

Yeah. That sounded more like it.

* * *

**THE END**

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* * *

**

**Silent Knight: Ah. ICM is officially, finally over and out of my hair. :D I'm sad yet happy and content and feelin' awesome at the SAME TIME. lol**

**Now, the song list to this story will be coming later on in life, as well as ICM's sequel's summary and a small excerpt from it, too. So check off the "story alert" folks - for I will be posting these things here. Though this will be labelled as COMPLETED. Since, well, it is. =)**

**Hope you all enjoyed reading and will enjoy the sequel Decode when it gets uploaded. Until then - toodles, and it's been nice knowin' you. If you were feel lonely, PM me or read this story again or even read a few of my other works!**

**Ta-ta, mah lovelies. :^)**

**Silent Knight over and out!  
**


	17. Decode

Hello everyone. This is SilentKnightInDisguise11 here, though now I go by a different pen-name. It's been quite some time since I've last updated this fic, although it is completed.

I just wanted to talk a bit about_ I Caught Myself_ and_ Decode_, and regarding the fact that the sequel to this story hasn't been up in quite some time.

Honestly, it was going to be up, but I found myself swamped in incomplete stories yet I foolishly kept on creating more and more of them until I had no idea what the hell I should do to complete them. They would just not write themselves into completion, after all. So _Decode_ was pressed back, until I decided to try and foolishly begin it when I had no real idea what I would do with the story apart from the fact that it would be angsty.

Then, something else happened. I, obviously, am growing as not only a writer but as a person. I began to realize how my writing really isn't as badly developed as it used to be, and looking back at this story made me realize that my writing is better than this. My ideas are better than this as well. And this went for all of my stories.

Which is why I created a new account, in which I would write new stories that will hopefully interest me enough to complete them. I made sure not to swamp myself in too many stories this time, as I learnt my lesson with this account.

I tried to get back into writing for my OC, Josie Wesley, and Reid by posting an AU story that had nothing to do with The Covenant's plot line or even of the Reid/Josie verse either. However, I found myself losing motivation for it day by day, so I decided to just messily delete it.

I apologize deeply to anyone who had been reading that story, only for it to seemingly disappear off of the face of the internet world. But I just couldn't continue it. The ideas were vague, the story was forced...I wasn't having much fun writing it, and that was horrible since that is why people write. To have fun and further develop skills and create a new world with words, as cheesy as it may sound.

However, after reading this story again, I came to realize that I want to give things a second go. I want to write more for Reid and Josie, I want to write _Decode_ and hopefully finish it off, and I want to connect with all my old readers here and hopefully new readers too.

But I'm going to do things the right way.

I want to start _Decode_ with a good plot, better characters, and hopefully much better writing. I want to make a plot that I will not lose sight of, plan ahead a bit, and then begin writing after making sure I know my characters well so I can keep them in line. I want people to enjoy the story, and maybe even be moved a bit by the angst I wish to write and the atmosphere I want to create.

This will take a bit of time, but I promise that the sequel to this story will be a good one. I will try my best to make it enjoyable, because I am really driven to the idea and I wish to write it well.

It will be written on my new account, forlornwriter. It will still be called _Decode_ unless I think of another, better name for it, but I will be sure to keep all of you updated and let you know here when it's posted.

If you wish to read it, you may. If you don't, then I completely understand.

Thank you, everyone, for sticking with me and Josie Wesley for so long. Thank you for being so patient and kind and supportive. I hope to see you next when I post up _Decode_.

Until then.

P.S. Also, if you're curious, down below is the newest summary I have for the sequel. What are your thoughts on the summary? Do let me know.

Summary: Sequel to "I Caught Myself." Reid/OC. Reid and Josie are now friends and attempting to work out their confusing relationship. However, when Reid begins to Use much more recklessly than before, Josie must re-evaluate the relationship they have built.


End file.
